We had a lovely evening in Butler Park here in Austin for our public candlelighting for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
27 people from 11 families participated. The wind kept blowing our candles out at first, but we found some protection by the reeds along the shore and finally were able to keep them lit.
The big day is coming up. Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Thursday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time to participate in the International Wave of Light.
I spent today making votives for the people coming to the one here in Austin, Texas. If you are hosting one, and would like to use this label for votives of your own, feel free to right-click and “Save picture as.” It is designed for standard address labels, Avery 8160. It does not have to be printed in color. It looks good in black and white too.
The Austin candle lighting will be at the lighted fountains in Butler Park, which is behind the Parmer Events Center (Long Center.) It’s easiest to park along the street on Riverside. We generally light them by the water’s edge, but you will find us by our candles.
Here are the final votives and how they turned out. You can get little candles like these for about $4 a dozen.
Blessings to all of you who will mark this day for your lost babies.
I want to remind all of you that October is Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. Robyn Bear, founder of the organization that got the designation of this month in all 50 states, has a listing of all the public walks and candle lightings that will be going on. You can see those on her walk page. If you don’t have one near you, start one!
If you are looking for items for your babies, she has lots of lovely jewelry, stepping stones, boxes, and many other memorial pieces. You can see those at her store. She has beautiful pink and blue awareness ribbon car magnets for just $4 to help you spread the word.
And my own memorial book is safely at the printer! In the Company of Angels is done and many of you proud mamas are already preordering your copies. They should be here in a few weeks. I can’t WAIT to fill one out for Casey Shay! You can find out about ordering it at the publishing company web site.
It’s been an amazing month! The video I made (see it in the upper right corner of this screen) has gotten thousands of views. People are starting to understand how important our babies are. They are not to be forgotten, but real people who made a huge impact on our lives.
In the Company of Angels, the baby record book for our angels lost to miscarriage or stilbirth, is almost final and will head to galley proof stage very soon. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always wanted to have a book to fill out for my baby even though I never got to see him in person.
Sometimes it seems as though life gives you the skills and experiences to do the one thing you were meant to do. And I think the path that lead me to this book was that:
It all comes back around to having the ability to make the images for this book, and to have the lovely little clients to pose for it. And to know a community I can share it with.
I am blessed.
See more images at the Facebook page for the publisher.
You can also watch the video trailer for the book.
It is always a joy to get an update from a once-grieving mom telling me she has had a baby since we last spoke. Often these notes come a year or more after her first frightened question on this site that I answered via email, and I am touched that these women took the time to track down the message I wrote them so long before.
I have had quite a few of these lately, and I’m talking about them because if you’re here right now, you’re probably either scared or grieving, worrying about a little blood you just found, or having some cramping, or waiting for test results and looking for information on the internet.
I’m here to tell you that even if the worst happens, an overwhelming majority of you (yes, YOU) will go on next time to have a healthy baby. You will never forget this one, and you will always carry a bit of grief in your heart over this loss. But you will go on, and you will find the courage to try again.
One thing about talking to women in the middle of a loss every day, as I do, is that you learn to appreciate the happy endings. So many of us have a very difficult journey into motherhood, full of despair we never knew we’d feel in connection with what was supposed to be the most joyous period of our lives.
But we do find our way. For a few, it might be adoption or recurring miscarriage treatments. But for most of us, we’ll perservere, and that baby we long for will come. And when it happens to you, I’m delighted to hear about it.
In the Company of Angels is a memorial book to document your baby's life, even if you were only pregnant a short while. Press play below to see the book trailer. (You may want to click on it to view it full size.)
Click for information on how to order this book.
The video song is "Still" by Gerrit Hofsink. Click for information.
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Cradle, Broken Heart
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