Comments on: As the World Keeps Turning

By: lindsay

lindsay — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:21:17 +0000

wow there are some stories here.

i told everyone about my losses and felt no need to hide it but i have found that people forget or just don’t want to talk to you about it after the fact.

when i mc’d aug 06 i told my boss and he allowed me time off. anyway in my due month april we have our manager bring us into a meeting and says he has a surprise and for us to guess so the usual pops up ‘you’ve got another job’, ‘were changing managers’. well i’d seen part of an email to his girlfriend that worked in our company to and she had mentioned being sick and he’d played it off that she had got drunk and was hungover hence being sick….i then guessed and said ‘your girlfriend is pg’ he looked so surprised but said yet it was true so he advised that she was 12 weeks and they were waiting till she was safe. i couldn’t muster a smile and sat down and was a bit snappy. anyway two staff members who were friends then came over and asked what was wrong and it clicked and i said that this was the month my baby would’ve been due so i was really sensitive they were all sympathetic but then walked away fine while i sat there in shock.

i mc’d again feb 07 and me and hubby will continue till we have a baby if i suffer more mc’s then i will but we agreed we’ll do this together i couldn’t bear to think of stopping.

during the time we’ve been ttc i’ve seen 3 family members and at least 6 friends since we mc’d and only a few have talked to me about my babies. i am now ok and love being around babies and pregnant bumps but for a time it was hard to be around pg family and friends. when my cousin’s fiancee found out she got pg just after her hen do they made to keep it quiet till they hit 12 weeks and i managed to find out as my aunty had told my mum and my cousin and his fiancee kicked off at her and made her upset (they apologised later and it was fine in time for the wedding) it was blurted out after the argument that night and i came in on it. when i heard it i just sat down quiet i couldn’t speak all i wanted to do was cry my eyes out that someone else had achieved a pregnancy while i was still fighting to get pg again. were now referred to a fertility clinic so we can have a baby as all i hear every month is ‘have you got any news’.

good luck to those of us still trying. its a long and difficult journey and when we do eventually have our kids then we will tell them of their lost siblings

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 22:31:58 +0000

After my second miscarriage two weeks ago, within a timeframe of 9 months (my husband and I have no living children) I discussed surrogacy with my only sister who has one daughter. She flat out stated she would never have another child and was not a candidate for surrogacy for me (IF I needed that type of assistance). I found out today through and email from my mom that she is now happily 8 weeks pregnant.

By: trish

trish — Wed, 23 May 2007 04:00:24 +0000

I just had a miscarriage last night and am thinking about going to work tommorrow. My boyfriend is in jail for hanging out wiht STUPID freinds who let him take the fall for drugs. the whole time of this preganancy i have been stressed to no belief. then last night was the ultimate. I went to the hospital with bleeding and cramping. I lost the baby but i couldn’t stay at the hospital. the left me in the labor and delivery ward with all the people having their abies. So i left against medical advice. I told my boyfriend who cried.. in jail. I fet so horrible because i had to tell my children. I feel so lost.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 12:05:26 +0000

There were three of us pregnant at my office at the same time, all of us due the same month. I lost Aiden at 5 months and returned to work a couple weeks later. 2 months later I walked into one of the baby showers by accident, nobody told me obviously because they didn’t want to hurt me, but walking into it completely blindsided was so much worse — I could have called in sick that day or something! I had to go home as I was hysterically crying and couldn’t handle it anymore. Everyone that was at the shower knew what it done to me when they saw my face and my supervisor said that they were coming to my office all day long to check on me after I left. I thought that was nice, but wished I would have been warned in some way.

Also, a coworker left our office while I was still pregnant and never found out about my loss. Well he called one day and I answered the phone and he congratulated me on the baby, asked how old he was and how he was doing. I was so taken aback by it I just said “I didn’t have a baby. You’re mistaking me with someone else. Who did you need to talk to?” I proceeded to go to the bathroom, ball my eyes out and again, I had to leave to go home. I could not accept the fact that I had just denied my one and only son…what kind of mother was I?

By: KarenAnn

KarenAnn — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 03:33:20 +0000

Seeing an acquaintance who had heard we were pregnant, but not about the miscarriage, at a picnic when I would have been about 6 months along. He said “you don’t even look pregnant, you’d better eat and feed that kid something quick.”

By: Autumn

Autumn — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 20:04:27 +0000

This isn’t really a social thing I guess, but getting maternity catalogs and all the emails I had signed up for from various sites saying “your baby is X weeks old” and showing you pictures of what your developing baby would look like and be doing in that week of pregnancy was absolute torture. I tried to cancel my subscriptions, but some of them kept coming and I sent some VERY nasty emails to those websites.

By: melody

melody — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 22:13:00 +0000

OOOO–spa day for mother’s day. I like it!

By: LynnieRae

LynnieRae — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 05:04:00 +0000

Well, this may be a little unbelieveable to believe but its true. My sister was pregnant or just had her baby when I mc’ed my 2nd and 3rd babies. It was so hard. I was expected to go visit my niece/nephew but was having a hard time. My cousin just had her baby too. I did go but not without jealously.

Also, something awful happened. When I lost my 2nd baby a friend told me she was pregnant. She never was pregnant. She did it for pure spite to find out. I dont know why but its true. We still have to associate but I do it very little.

By: babychaos

babychaos — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 15:17:51 +0000

You could pretty much put that in as is. I had a friend to stay just after mine, somehow neither of us sussed that the fact she had a newborn baby with her would cause any difficulty… geez I was sad.

Just an idea but I’m an artist, I paint illustrated names for kids so my job was pretty harrowing for a while there after my miscarriage. I advertise in pregnancy and birth mags and also in catalogues for pregnancy and birth charities. It’s in my face the whole time. I’m ok with it at the moment but I’ve only had one m/c and I hope to try for a baby again. I suspect things will be entirely different if I end up having another miscarriage – not least because Mr BC isn’t prepared to go through more than two – we were both pretty badly cut up after we lost our little one. I guess this might be a slant on one of your characters maybe – especially if she has more than one miscarriage which, if I do, is certainly where the dynamic will change…..

Cheers

By: Dawn Lewis

Dawn Lewis — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 03:57:54 +0000

Spa day?

Maybe the women can go up in solidarity at a church…to get their gifts. It’s possible for one of them to start a new tradition in their area, a day of recognition of mothers forgotten. Wow. I am one obnoxious mom with five kids and I cannot believe how forgetful we can sometimes be of the women who really and truly are mothers…and no one knows but them and a few close family/friends.

Our church had a panel on Mother’s Day this year. One woman had 10 kids born and four miscarriages, one had just had her first child, one had struggled with infertility and miscarriages and was a teacher but never adopted or birthed a living baby and knew she never would, and one couple had adopted several children. All were recognized as mothers…and all had their time to speak and answer questions.