Comments on: Scenes and Beginnings http://pregnancyloss.info/2006/10/scenes-and-beginnings/ Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:44:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Tanya http://pregnancyloss.info/2006/10/scenes-and-beginnings/comment-page-1/#comment-141 Tanya Thu, 13 Sep 2007 20:19:53 +0000 http://www.pregnancyloss.info/?p=13#comment-141 When my husband and I are were trying for our second child, we gained custody of our 3 weeks old grandson whos mother, my stepdaughter, was only 14. I remember my other stepdaughter, her sister, had told her the only reason we wanted custody of her baby was that we couldn't have our own and if we did, it would have medical problems. Our son is 6 and has spina bifida. Well our grandosn is 7 months old now and I am 6 months pregnant with a healthy child. Sometimes steps do not think before they talk, and it really hurts. When my husband and I are were trying for our second child, we gained custody of our 3 weeks old grandson whos mother, my stepdaughter, was only 14. I remember my other stepdaughter, her sister, had told her the only reason we wanted custody of her baby was that we couldn’t have our own and if we did, it would have medical problems. Our son is 6 and has spina bifida. Well our grandosn is 7 months old now and I am 6 months pregnant with a healthy child. Sometimes steps do not think before they talk, and it really hurts.

]]> By: daisy http://pregnancyloss.info/2006/10/scenes-and-beginnings/comment-page-1/#comment-140 daisy Sat, 07 Oct 2006 04:07:44 +0000 http://www.pregnancyloss.info/?p=13#comment-140 Deanna, when I read your words I feel kind of amazed. I am amazed that the feelings we feel when we lose a baby inside of us are so very similar. No one in my family, including my dear, dear husband seems to be hurting like I am. It has now been almost nine weeks since I lost my little one at 11 weeks. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday. I have a 12 year old boy. I wonder if he feels like the stepdaughter you talked about. Sometimes I am so very focused on how horribly sad I am feeling that I forget that there are other people in my life who couldn't wait to hold this baby, just like me. Your writing is from the heart, and I am happy to read it. Daisy Deanna, when I read your words I feel kind of amazed. I am amazed that the feelings we feel when we lose a baby inside of us are so very similar. No one in my family, including my dear, dear husband seems to be hurting like I am. It has now been almost nine weeks since I lost my little one at 11 weeks. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday. I have a 12 year old boy. I wonder if he feels like the stepdaughter you talked about. Sometimes I am so very focused on how horribly sad I am feeling that I forget that there are other people in my life who couldn’t wait to hold this baby, just like me. Your writing is from the heart, and I am happy to read it.

Daisy

]]> By: Melody http://pregnancyloss.info/2006/10/scenes-and-beginnings/comment-page-1/#comment-139 Melody Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:42:16 +0000 http://www.pregnancyloss.info/?p=13#comment-139 I'm not a stepmom, but I have "steps" in my family, and I can just imagine the scenes you've described. I'm sure this happens much more often than not since there are so many stepfamilies today, and I've watched in my own family that it's a difficult process to blend two families. I think you're doing great! I’m not a stepmom, but I have “steps” in my family, and I can just imagine the scenes you’ve described. I’m sure this happens much more often than not since there are so many stepfamilies today, and I’ve watched in my own family that it’s a difficult process to blend two families. I think you’re doing great!

]]> By: Brianne http://pregnancyloss.info/2006/10/scenes-and-beginnings/comment-page-1/#comment-138 Brianne Thu, 05 Oct 2006 03:45:34 +0000 http://www.pregnancyloss.info/?p=13#comment-138 Deanna I'm so glad your doing a step-mom story as well. I'm a step-mom to a wonderful 7 yr. old little girl whom I love dearly. But when I suffered my miscarriages I was so bitter. I was bitter that she was born out of wedlock and that she had my husbands feet, eyes, and attitude. I hated the fact that some woman whom my husband use to date could give him a child and I couldn't. There were many w-ends after my miscarriage that I wouldn't come out of our room while she was over. It hurt too look into her eyes and think and wonder if our child would look so much like Daddy like she did. I felt inferior to her mother since we had already been trying for 3 years and I kept failing. I would have people say to me well at least ya'll have Zoe. That cut me too the bone. That made it worse for me at the time. I had someone elses' child and could not even have my own. So thank you for thinking of us too! I also hope you touch on the subject of how a lot of women go thru a deep hatered period. I hated everything. Especially myself. I hated my body...it could not do the one thing it was suppose to be able to do and that was keep another human being safe. I was angry at God. I pretty much abdanoned what little faith and religion I was still carrying around. And it never failed for months all I saw was pregnant women or new babies. Then as I was suffering my 2nd m/c my best friend informed me that she was 5 months pregnant and she just found out. I hated her. It drove such a wedge b/w us. I love her and her baby but the day she was born and I held her in the hospital it killed me. It killed me to act happy when I was angry and pissed that this girl who just had a one night stand fell pregnant. That this girl who didn't want this baby when she first found out she was pregnant was getting to experience birth. This girl that drank, exercised constantly and took diet pills the first 5 months was laying in bed holding a new little perfect life and I couldn't have one and I sacrificed so much everyday. I left her room crying so hard that I couldn't barely see to get on the elevator. I remember going to the baby shower on the due date of my first angel and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. And I remember sitting there thinking that this should be me and how unfair all of it was and how no one understood. I told her I was not comfortable going and she was furious with me. She didn't understand that it was my babies due date and that it was not even a month after my d&c for my 2nd baby that I was having to see all those little baby gift was driving a knife deep into my soul. Sorry this is so long. Sometimes reading your post bring back so much and the tears flow. And I just have to let it all out. Thank you Deanna! Deanna I’m so glad your doing a step-mom story as well. I’m a step-mom to a wonderful 7 yr. old little girl whom I love dearly. But when I suffered my miscarriages I was so bitter. I was bitter that she was born out of wedlock and that she had my husbands feet, eyes, and attitude. I hated the fact that some woman whom my husband use to date could give him a child and I couldn’t. There were many w-ends after my miscarriage that I wouldn’t come out of our room while she was over. It hurt too look into her eyes and think and wonder if our child would look so much like Daddy like she did. I felt inferior to her mother since we had already been trying for 3 years and I kept failing. I would have people say to me well at least ya’ll have Zoe. That cut me too the bone. That made it worse for me at the time. I had someone elses’ child and could not even have my own. So thank you for thinking of us too!

I also hope you touch on the subject of how a lot of women go thru a deep hatered period. I hated everything. Especially myself. I hated my body…it could not do the one thing it was suppose to be able to do and that was keep another human being safe. I was angry at God. I pretty much abdanoned what little faith and religion I was still carrying around. And it never failed for months all I saw was pregnant women or new babies. Then as I was suffering my 2nd m/c my best friend informed me that she was 5 months pregnant and she just found out. I hated her. It drove such a wedge b/w us. I love her and her baby but the day she was born and I held her in the hospital it killed me. It killed me to act happy when I was angry and pissed that this girl who just had a one night stand fell pregnant. That this girl who didn’t want this baby when she first found out she was pregnant was getting to experience birth. This girl that drank, exercised constantly and took diet pills the first 5 months was laying in bed holding a new little perfect life and I couldn’t have one and I sacrificed so much everyday. I left her room crying so hard that I couldn’t barely see to get on the elevator. I remember going to the baby shower on the due date of my first angel and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I remember sitting there thinking that this should be me and how unfair all of it was and how no one understood. I told her I was not comfortable going and she was furious with me. She didn’t understand that it was my babies due date and that it was not even a month after my d&c for my 2nd baby that I was having to see all those little baby gift was driving a knife deep into my soul.
Sorry this is so long. Sometimes reading your post bring back so much and the tears flow. And I just have to let it all out. Thank you Deanna!

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