Comments on: Visions and Retelling

By: Renee

Renee — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 23:31:10 +0000

One of the hardest parts of dealing with my miscarriage was going to my obgyn for the check after the d and c to make sure everything was “back to normal”. I had to sit in a waiting room filled with all pregnant women in various shapes and stages of pregnancy, and I sat there with an empty void inside me. The one lady sitting across from me was a first timer and had to fill out the same paperwork I did my first time there. There is a part about how many pregnancies you’ve had and how they ended up. SHe laughed so hard and said out loud, “well this is my first pregnacy and I’m still pregnant! Innocent comment to her, slap in the face to me. I know that she meant no harm to anyone, and probably hadn’t a clue about the pain of miscarriage like I didn’t a few months before, but at that moment it was all I could do not to tear a strip off her. I almost bit my tongue of biting back words ” well be thankful you got to check still pregant, I had to check miscarriage and then sit around all of you and your big bellies complaining about the difficulties of being pregnant! Guess what, I don’t care that it’s hot in the summertime and you are uncomfortable, I don’t care that your ankles are swollen, you still have YOUR baby!!!” Never thought sitting in a waiting room could ever hurt so bad.

By: KarenAnn

KarenAnn — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 04:12:10 +0000

Recently, I had a healing experience. I had a missed miscarriage in January 05 and waited 6 weeks before finally scheduling a d&c. The morning of the procedure, I used cytotec to ripen my cervix. DH and I drove to DS’s daycare to drop him off before dchecking into the hospital. I had been having cramps and bleeding during the car ride, and passed the baby in the bathroom at the daycare center. I couldn’t leave my little bean there in the toilet, and I couldn’t even see if it was in there, but was sure I’d felt it pass. I remember fantically sticking my hand in and grabbing at anything that could be my baby. When I found it, I put it in an empty garbage bag I found in the bathroom, wrapped it all up, took off one of my two shirts and wrapped it in that again. I must have been a mess, because DH had a hard time understanding what I was trying to tell him. When we got to the hospital, ultrasound confirmed that I’d passed my baby and didn’t need the d&c. I saved my baby Jaden’s little body in the freezer until the ground was soft enough to find the perfect spot, which we did that Spring. Back at DS’s daycare, I avoided the bathroom the rest of that schoolyear, and DS started at a different preschool the next fall (not because of any negative experience). My DD, born one year later, is now at the same daycare (which I really do love). Last week, while picking up DD, I had to pee really badly, and had a 1/2 hour drive home, so I decided to use that bathroom. I was fine, and even sat there smiling about the many blessings that have come into my life since then.

By: kathy

kathy — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 01:25:08 +0000

It gave me chills but peace at the same time to see that you are considering using part of my personal story (camping and burning my baby’s tissue). I hope it will contribute to how surreal (e.g. this can’t be happening to me) the process of miscarrying can feel.

By: melody

melody — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:50:51 +0000

Thank you so much for doing this. It’s a big undertaking,a nd I wish you well. Please use any bit or piece from story that you need to. If it helps someone else to manage their grief and realize that they’re not crazy, it’s worth it. Or if someone who doesn’t know how to deal with us can glean something from this, I think it will do some good as well. Good luck with the writing. I know that creativity can be exhausting.

By: tessy

tessy — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:22:31 +0000

It’s odd to read something that I’m pretty sure came from my story and the story of others that I know and realize it will be in a book. I certainly don’t mind at all, but it’s still……..just odd, I guess.

Will you be updating at all in November? (I know you will be super busy.)

Have you approached publishers or anything yet or will you wait until you’re closer to being done?

Thanks for sharing this all with us!

By: Dawn Lewis

Dawn Lewis — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:16:35 +0000

Oh, that list gave me chills and goosebumps on my legs. Wow.