Yes, keep the stories coming

To answer a few questions–

Yes, I will still be reading and thinking and using comments throughout the writing of the book, so still leave your stories! Women will be joining the fictional pregnancy loss group throughout the novel, and they will all need a history of some sort.

I have outlined the first five chapters or so and developed seven characters.

Yes, I will be putting scenes from the book here on the blog throughout November. The first bit will go up around 3 a.m. November 1! I can safely put up the entire first chapter and quite a few other scenes without harming my chances of publishing it later.

And no, I will not be looking for an agent until I am close to done. I have to make sure I know where the story is going for sure before I can write an accurate synopsis for a query letter. That is my plan for January. I should have the book at least half written by Dec. 1, then I will work on it more slowly in December and January, then seek representation for it. It will be important to keep the blog stats high, though, to show support for the book and a market for the initial print run. That’s where you guys help!

Can you believe that I’ve had 36,000 words posted here in the comments? I have compiled each and every one in a Word file for my reference. That’s incredible!

I love you ladies. I really truly do.

8 thoughts on “Yes, keep the stories coming

  1. Due to some personal situations I have been away from the boards recently and just got a chance today to check in on the blog. I am sure this must be an extremely difficult process and there will be lots of tears along the way, but I think it will be a wonderful healing process for you, for us and anyone who gets to read the book. I can’t wait to read the first chapter.
    Thanks for doing this Deanna!

  2. Here is some more scenes for you to consider that have happened to other women I have met (not from the boards). At our church there is a large prairie garden on a hillside slope. I was told that it was created when a couple lost a set of twin baby girls at 20 weeks as a memorial garden. That couple went on to lose another baby also in second trimester. Now that memorial garden is used by all families who have lost a baby to miscarriage or in infancy. There is a list of names in the church entryway that faces the garden with all of their names. I haven’t mustered the courage to ask to have my baby’s name added.

    There is another family who attend my church who lost a baby at birth. At the women’s retreat this year, I heard her tell her story of how when they burned the garden (as you are supposed to do with prairies to reseed them), she spread the ashes of her stillborn son and her then 6 year old daughter said, “Mom, it is pretty.” I was of course sobbing, but it also reminded me of how fire was a critical part of my healing and final goodbye to my baby.

  3. I’m not sure if this is the place to do this, but in terms of stories, if you need some humor, I have a bit to add. Having been told I would need a D&C, my dr. prescribed a pill for me to take the morning of the procedure to promote dilation (I think). Obviously I assumed I would be swallowing the pill. So when I got the bottle and realized I had to insert it vaginally, I was floored. It was a pill!! But it gets better, the directions read as follows: “Insert 2 tablets per vagina at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.” Per vagina? How many do I have? Do they know something I don’t? I got so hystertical (Laughing) I showed my husband and my mother in law. It brought some much needed comic relief, I laughed for the next 2 hours. Moroever, I brought the bottle with me to show the nurses in the hospital as I was being wheeled in for the procedure. Everybody got a kick out of it…and I still have the bottle to give myself a chuckle when I feel down.

  4. Deanna,

    I am so very glad you are writing this book. It is an insight to what it feels like to a mother that m/c’s. Even the people we are closest to, especially are dh’s, do not fully understand how it feels for us, having that baby grow inside of us, and then he/she being gone so quickly. I will be buying this book as soon as it comes out for my dh, as the best he can say right now after the loss of our twins in a matter of 11 days is: It is hard for me to feel like grieving, when I barely knew they were there. Where as all I can do is grieve right now. I hope that by him reading this, he will understand how a mom feels versus a dad, and hopefully open the lines of communication between us better. Maybe afterwards you should write a book on how fathers grieve, so that women might understand how it is they seem so indifferent to the loss, or show us how they grieve privately. Anyways Thank You again for this wonderful, resourceful book.

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