Comments on: Not So Well Wishers

By: Ama

Ama — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 01:43:07 +0000

Omg. Its been 6 months since I lost my baby and my mother in law is constantly asking my husband if I’m pregnant yet to which he answers”We’re still trying”. Yesterday she had the gall to recommend a fertility doc her neighbour’s daughter went to! That kind of makes me mad. Its my body and 6 months may feel long but to me, fertility treatments, etc should be a last resort. NOT something to satisfy her desire for more grandchildren. Why can’t she just enjoy the one she has? ( his sister has a little girl). Her saying she wants more grandchildren just stresses me out even more! What is she thinking?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 02:35:18 +0000

I lost my baby February 12. I have a son that I love with all my heart. My husband has been supportive but now, he believes I should just not let it get to me anymore. He does not want to try again or have any more children. Customers keep asking when I am going to have another child. They don’t t know I had a miscarriage or that I was pregnant. A client today said it is cruel to have an only child. I should hurry up and get pregnant. He relentlessly kept saying I would be alot happier if I had another child to play with my son. I finally told him I had a miscarriage a month ago. I explained I had one blessing with my son. I probably will not be able to have another child. He gave me a lecture that I have no right to just give up. He said plenty of people have more than one miscarriage I should just move on and not let if get to me. He said it is God’s decision for me to have a baby not mine. He said I have not right to make a decision not to try. He told me to just enjoy my husband. I knew he meant well, but, I hung up then had to leave my office for a while.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:39:40 +0000

I lost my angel in Nov 09, at 8 weeks. It was our 1st child and I had no idea that I could feel so much pain. . . We recently decided to start trying again despite my fears of having to go through this all over again. No sooner did we start trying then my job let me go. With no insurance and no income there is no way that we could have a baby right now. The idea that I do not know when I will be able to try again hurts almost as much as when they told me our baby was gone. I feel like I have no hope, that I will never have a child. . .

By: Heather

Heather — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:51:10 +0000

THe one I am sick of hearing is “God won’t give you any more then you can handle and you need to figure that out” people are really so insensitive it drives me crazy.

By: Linda

Linda — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:10:24 +0000

I miscarried a few days ago during the night and went back to work the next day. I work with families and children and it was very hard. In addition, my sister in-law will be having a baby this month and I want to be happy for her, but I don’t know how I will feel. My husband’s best friend and his wife will have a baby about the same time I was due. I want to be happy for them too. This was my first pregnancy and I am scared that I might never have children. I don’t feel courageous enough to try again. Any advice?…

By: Jaime

Jaime — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 20:37:06 +0000

Ok where could I begin on the things people say? I have had two miscarriages in one year… My first miscarriage was the worst one for me mentally…. I actually told everyone I knew that my husband and I were expecting…with never ever once realizing that this could even happen to anyone… I was 3 months when I lost my first baby and I closed myself off from the world.I didn’t want to socialize with no one,I felt no one could understand how this felt to loose a child that I loved so much from the moment I knew I was expecting… A few weeks went by and I finally said to myself, You have to get out of the house and give yourself a break you can’t let this control what things you do have in life… So, I took a deep breathe and went out, I also reminded myself how people could be really thoughtless… They have no clue… A close family member rubbed her belly and said, we are preparing for the little one? WHAT? I mean she was even expecting at this time and I thought to myself, does this person have a heart? I just left with tears in my eyes….. Or if I could possibly count for all of you how many times one of my sister in laws says baby and man its intentionelly…. I tell you, PEOPLE COULD BE CRUEL AND NORMALLY ITS YOUR CLOSE FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO SCAR YOU THE MOST….. MY SECOND MISCARRIAGE , NO BODY REALLY KNEW BECAUSE OF FEAR OF MISCARRIAGE I DIDN”T TELL MANY BUT I WAS 4 MONTHS WHEN I LOST MY BABY BUT ITS ONLY BEEN A MONTH AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL…. HEALING PROCESS…. I HAVE MY UPS AND DOWNS…. MY immediate family knew… This time physically it took a toll on my body,I was dialating and having contractions… It was horrible…I couldn’t understand why this was happening again… Well, a couple weeks went by and I went to my parents house to walk in to the spare room where my mom assembled a crib and changing table for my brother and sis-in-laws baby on the way… Can you say SMACK!!! I almost lost my breathe…. My one brother didn’t even call me when he found out what had happened and his excuse was because they were expecting he didn’t know what to say to me? WHAT? to me thats all the reason to know what to say to me…. I felt as a parent you should know the love you feel for your cild is unconditional no matter what…. People will never realize how much they say could really affect a person in one of their darkest hours…. This second time around I was selective on who would be apart on what has happened to me and my family…. even my mother-in-law said you have to take care of yourself….!!! What? I said, There is probable causes to why miscarriages happen, before I was even pg there was no visual condition that I had or have… They have no reason for me why this happens so I was like who Do you think you are telling me take care of myself? I took a deep breathe and said, Ok, I will talk to you later…. Thanks for making this website for I believe talking and listening to each others stories really makes stronger by being surrounded by those who really can relate…. All of our angels are playing together and we will all one day be united as one… Hugs to all…

By: Tara

Tara — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 18:42:48 +0000

I cant thank you enough. I appreciate your advice.

By: Deanna

Deanna — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 21:34:52 +0000

The teen years are already hard, as you try to figure out where you’re going in life, and who your friends are, and your changing relationship with your parents. Certainly something has frightening and terrible as a miscarriage is going to take a long time to recover from. Let her know it’s okay to be sad, and that you support her. She’ll take a good portion of emotional need from those around her, but that’s what it takes. In the end, though, it’s up to her when she feels ready to move forward a bit more.

By: Tara

Tara — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 06:52:34 +0000

my best friend had a miscarriage about four months ago, and she has been having random waves of sadness and anger, and she told me the other day that she still hasnt stopped thinking about her baby. she is only 17. and I dont know how to help her. any advice?

By: slh

slh — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:51:19 +0000

Thank you for this site. I am currently going through my fourth miscarriage over the course of a year. I haven’t told my mom about this or the last two losses, mainly because she point-blank asked me what I did to cause the first miscarriage and still has no idea how insensitive or ignorant that comment is. Fortunately, my older sister is very supportive and has said and done the right things to help me through this. I sometimes worry that we have “tried again” too soon after the other losses, but at 43 years old, time is not on my side. We are blessed with having a lovely 2- year-old at home and the continued ability to conceive, but are challenged with carrying a subsequent pregnancy past 8 weeks. I’m not sure what we’ll do at this point, but your site has been a comfort to me.