About This Site

I have lost many babies, so many little lights going out before their time. I have also, between the losses, had two healthy girls, Emily Faith and Elizabeth Grace.

I began the site in 1998. I had already resigned my job as a teacher to be a full-time mom. When I lost Casey at 20 weeks, I had no baby, no job, no way to fill my time while I searched for work, so I learned how to make web pages and put up a memorial site for Casey.

When my genetic testing failed and I realized I would forever regret having surgery rather than labor and delivery, I decided I needed to help others with their decision–make sure they knew not just the medical issues, but also the emotional implications of their choices. The site grew and grew and along the way, I realized–that boy Casey, he really made a difference!

Woman often ask how they can support this site. I don’t take donations, and I simply pay for all the costs of it myself. If you shop at Amazon already, simply click on any Amazon link on this site before you buy anything and we’ll get a small percentage of the sale.  Our favorite item is this: Angel Memory Book , which was designed by us based on what we heard from all of you!

I am so glad you found us.

Read Deanna’s story of the loss of Casey Shay at 20 weeks in April 1998.

Read Deanna’s 2nd pregnancy journal while carrying Emily in 1999.

Learn about Elizabeth, born May 2002, and whose twin was lost in October 2001 at 9 weeks.

120 thoughts on “About This Site

  1. Hi Deanna,
    Your site has been very comforting to me as I work through the pain of my first miscarriage. I have been constantly searching for a reason as to why my baby’s tiny heart stopped beating. I thought maybe you could give me your input.
    This was my second pregnancy, I have a two year old daughter. I bled on and off (bright red) from 5 1/2 weeks to around 9 weeks with her. With this pregnancy I also started to bleed at 5 1/2 weeks, also passed some clots, but they still saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks. At 8 weeks, after continuing to bleed, the heartbeat was gone. What is causing me to bleed, and why would one pregnancy survive it and the other not? Do you think the bleeding caused the miscarriage, or is it just chromosomal like everyone says.
    I am so scared to try again knowing that I bled with both pregnancy’s and one made it and one did not. Any suggestions for preventing bleeding. I love my OB but she won’t test untill I have had three losses, I can’t handle another.
    Thanks for any advice you might have.
    Warm regards, Joanne

  2. Joanne

    I am very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.

    Bleeding in early pregnancy is typically an issue of hormones. Some women seem to be very sensitive to the smallest dips in progesterone in early pregnancy, and they will bleed off and on until the 10th or 11th week when the placenta takes over hormone function and everything stabilizes. The clots are natural as your uterus is full of them while you are pregnant. This is not really considered a miscarriage risk as long as bleeding is not aided by severe cramps.

    It is not likely it was related to this loss. I am going to agree that this was very likely chromosomal, unavoidable and unpreventable. Just do the best you can to get through the loss, to recover, to renew your hope (which should grow every time you hug your precious child) and find the courage to try again.

    Just do the best you can.

  3. . I am a mother with four children, but I had the unforgetable heartache of losing a twin during the first trimester of my third pregnancy. i had some bleeding during my 2nd pregnancy which turned out to be a bleeding cyst, so I was not overly concerned when the same thing happened in my next pregnancy. I went to the ultrasound on my own, to be given the unbelievavle news that I was expecting twins. I was overwhelmed with joy and trepidation. A followup ultrasound however revealed an absent heartbeat in one of my babies. I was devastated. A terrible saddness gripped me, as I tried to come to terms with the joy of a pregnancy, but the loss of a baby at the same time. It was such a lonely time, and I felt unable to share this constant heatache with anyone really. I went to a birth centre for the delivery, after two earlier long deliveries I was, and still am terrified of giving birth. All went well until the last five minutes when my little baby got stuck, and we lost the heartbeat. After a desperate struggle out came a lifeless figure. There were people and lights and confusion and I asked my husband what we had. I will never forget his words, “I think it’s dead”. We found out we had a little boy, Kieran, whose apgar scores were 0 and 2. No heartbeat, no breathing, a pnumothorax….he was in a terrible way. Thankfully he was resuscitated, and then we were transferred to a neonatal intensive care ward. By then, he was having seizures, and a series of scans revealed a string of mini stroke type events. We were told to expect long term deficits, and a possibility of a wheelchair. Feeling numb with shock we had him baptised, and I believe that Kieran’s twin gave him strength to recover. My husband looking down at him on a ventilator said he knew Kieran was with us for a special reason. After several weeks we finally brought our little baby home to an uncertain future. We decided then that our earlier plans to have 4 children would no longer be an option for us. But when Kieran was 18 months old I discovered I was pregnant again. I had a lot of depression during that pregnancy, and was terrified of the delivery. But we were blessed with a healthy baby girl. So we now have 4 children aged 12, 10, 8 and 5, (2 girls and 2 boys), and our family is balanced and complete. Kieran is not in a wheelchair. And but for some uncoordination, and glasses you would never imagine what he has survived. Kieran is bright and beautiful and has an old soul. There is truly something different about him. But eight years on, every day I think of my beautiful little angel I never saw, but can feel with certainty is a very real part of me. I feel a sense of loss and sadness that will be with me always, but I am thankful for the blessings I have in my life.

  4. Hi Deanna,
    Thanks for the site. I’ve been on it so many times since my first miscarriage in July 2007. We have just gone through our second — what a way to celebrate the New Year. I’m two days out of a D&C. Thanks for the support you put out for women like us. It’s true the medical community does not address the psychological effects of the loss only the “bones and tissue” aspect.

    Still healing- Jane

  5. Dear Deanna,

    I have been reading about your experiences and those of other women and I think this site is really important. I am studying the experiences of miscarriage and I hope that I can learn something from women who have been through this terrible event, which may help towards the development of psychological therapies for women who struggle with their emotions following miscarriage. I was wondering if you are interested in hearing more about it and if you could contact me. Best wishes and thanks.

  6. Hi Deanna, I found the FAM boards last Feb after the loss of my angel. Now, after a difficult pg I gave birth to twin boys on Jan 11,08. Your site was such a healing place for me and I wanted to thank you. Also when the FAM boards shut down to said you were going to keep our angel memories/stories available but I don’t know where to find it on your new site. Please help.

  7. Deanna, thank you so much for the most informative and supportive website I have seen, and I have read so many of them recently trying to understand what was happening to me, make sense out of doctors’ actions and get an idea of what to do next. When I found your website it was such a treasure and relief, it is the source of well-put information and at the same time it helped my emotional healing. Thank you again, and best wishes to you and your family.

  8. Deanna,
    Thank you for your wonderful website. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 2.5 years ago. Since then I have miscarried 2 times (8/07 and 1/08) and am slowly healing. We are trying again and God-willing we will be blessed with a live sibling for our daughter. I wanted to bring your attention to a song that has really helped me through the healing process. It is by Natalie Grant and is called ‘Held’. I have been told that she wrote it about her friend who suffered multiple miscarriages over 9 years and finally gave birth to a live baby who died at 2 months old. The lyrics are amazing. They talk about how when everything around us falls – God still holds us. You can google Natalie Grant + Held and there is a YouTube video out there to hear the song. The lyrics also can be found the same way. I will attempt to post a link to the lyrics: http://lyricsdaily.com/lyrics/nataliegrant/held.shtml
    Thank you for all you do. God bless you!

  9. Thank you so much. I came across your site today while trying to find some information and comfort following my miscarriage 6 weeks ago. You have no idea how much you have helped me and my healing process.

  10. Dear Deanna, I can’t believe it I am writting this message. After I lost my first pregnancy I hoped that would never happen again and as you might imagine it did. I am 29 and as you might imagine I am not only very sad at the loss of this second one but also very concerned that I will be one of those who can not have children. Both pregnancies have come quickly so we have not been concerned about not being able to conceive. However, we are now very concerned of not being able to keep it through 9 months. The first pregnancy stopped after 8 weeks, when we went for the 1st u/s the doctor told us that it look 5 weeks instead. That night I started bleading and los the baby. This second pregnancy was going really well until yesterday morning (8.5 weeks) that I started spotting, went for a u/s and found no heart. I also found out that there were 2. I am very sad as we really had our hopes on this one. At this moment I am just waiting for it to happen and go back to our normal lives. Thank you for putting together such a wonderful page, it has really helped me to understand more about it and find out what type of tests I can ask the doctor to do. Thank you, Maria

  11. Dear Deanna, thank you for this website. I can’t believe it happened again but it did. First I gave birth to three beautiful children , then had a miscarriage .That baby died at approx. 2.5 mths, but I did not lose it until 5 mths. 1 year later I had a miscarriage at 2 mths or so. Then I got pregnant 3 mths later and carried her full term. Finally my 7th pregnancy, I had my 5th child , 11mths after last. Now i’ve since had 2 more miscarriages, Dec. 2007 and may 2008 a few days ago. Could the difference be my age ? I had my last child at 28 yrs old , and now I have just turned 36 . The one I lost in Dec. was 15 weeks, I had bleeding and cramping weeks 6 -10, then I had 5 good weeks and went into labour. The one I lost this week had been a decent pregnancy but I went into labour at 14 weeks and the baby had been dead for a while. I just don”t know what to do, the losses seem different to me. Should I just give up ? Any suggestions ?

  12. Thank you so much for your website. I recently lost a baby boy at 19 weeks on July 26th, 2008. It was my first pregnancy. I am a teacher about to return to school for another year and am worried about keeping it “together” at work. I’m glad I’ve found your site to help me through my last days of summer.

  13. I was very frustrated by everything I could find about miscarriage. The ER, the resident, and even my doctor (whom I really like), kept assuring me the worst was over…well it was the next day when I finally passed what had been my 10.5 week old angel. Your website answered so many questions. You, better than anyone, explained what my body doing and what I could expect. I am now anxiously awaiting the time when we can try again. Thanks for your insight!

  14. Deanna,
    I just lost my little one last week, while out of town for a wedding. This is my first loss and very new to me. I am trying to find more info on the Oct 15 candle lightings. Do you know of a group who is sponsoring one nearby? I am in the Austin area. I think it would really help to do this with others.
    Thank you for all you have done!

  15. Deanna,
    I’ve been up since 4:30 AM. I read your site for a couple hours then and I’m back on now. We found out Wed that we lost our baby. I was supposed to be 12 weeks on that Friday. I’m devastated and not able to get much sleep. Is there anyway that I can email you to discuss my “options”. I’m scared and I need some help. Please contact me if you can.
    Thank you.

  16. We lost our daughter 23 days ago to medical termination. It is a different kind of pain than miscarriage but your site has been the most helpful to me than any other I’ve come across. Freya was 20 weeks.

  17. I know you wouldn’t have the nerve to post this on your site, but there’s no way I can read through it all and not respond.

    “Without a positive pregnancy test, it is impossible to know for sure if you were pregnant.” Until the woman actually loses the child, that is. Or did you forget to add that part?

    “Many people who are late, but…have a negative test, assume that they were pregnant and miscarried. If you have had a positive pregnancy test, this information is not for you. There is no doubt you were pregnant.”

    “…realizing that every woman’s experience is different…”

    What a contradiction. You are not a doctor, and I don’t care how many women you’ve talked to through your website, you are NOT a medical expert. In fact, you are not ANY kind of expert – except on your own experience. Just like every other woman is an expert on their OWN experience. How dare you presume to know the facts behind the miscarriages of complete strangers and going so far as to dedicate an entire section of your website to trying to tell women that they were never pregnant because of a negative test result.

    If you were as educated about the matter as you claim to be, you would remember how common a false negative can be and how many factors can contribute to a false negative result when in fact a woman IS pregnant and can miscarry just as easily as a woman whose result was positive. Of course, I’m sure you remember that false positives can also happen, even though they are much more rare, they are certainly possible. I guess you just forgot all that when you made that page attempting to diminish the REAL losses of women who for whatever reason had a negative result from a home pregnancy test. Because they’re 100% reliable, right? No, they’re not. It is beyond irresponsible for you to put information like this on a board for women seeking help and morally repugnant that you would be so callous. Ironic how you try to warn others of the online predators trying to sell products to vulnerable women but it’s perfectly all right for you to sit on your high and mighty throne and tell them that they “imagined” miscarriages.

    Oh wait, is this because jesus is on your side?

  18. I am not afraid of criticism and of course a woman who has had a negative pregnancy test and then miscarried is upset by those words. Generally those women do not go that section of the site, as you did, because they know they were pregnant and choose different options as they navigate.

    A very large number of women come here because they had an odd period and they crave some sort of explanation. The majority of unusual periods not accompanied by a positive pregnancy test are simple alterations in the cycle. When it happens the first time, it is very scary and this section is to lay their fears to rest.

    I’m sorry it felt different to you.

    I never claim to be a doctor or a nurse or even an expert, but I do like to share the information I’ve picked up over all these years and try to write it in a steady, comforting hand.


  19. Hi Deanna,

    I had a D&C 4 weeks ago. My baby stopped growing at 6.5 weeks and I found out at my 8 weeks ultrasound that there was no longer a heartbeat. It has been the hardest time in my life but you do have great informaiton on this site and it is nice to know that you are not the only one going through this and other women have been through it and have healthy babies now. I don’t see much on your site about miscarriage after infertility since this is the position I am in. We were seeing a fertility specialist and still are. I would love to write something for the site for the other women like me who had such a hard time geting pregnant only to lose the baby and not knowing if you can ever get pregnant again since we did not on our own. Please contact me if you can-there is not much information out there on miscarriage after infertility.


  20. Deanna…WOW, I just found this site but I am glad I did. I just had tubal reversal surgery November 3rd and the sperm meets egg plan is ingenius. We ar trying it this month. Keep your fingers crossed for me! I love your page. I have 3 sisters who have all experienced loss. One sister miscarried at 10 weeks, one sister delivered a stillborn daughter, at 6 months. They told her she had a blood clot under the placenta that stopped blood flow to the baby. Then my other sister had twins delivered at 25 weeks, they lived only 3 weeks and died of complications of their prematurity. I am definitely passing this site onto them, Thank you!

  21. I do admire what you are doing here. But the presumption that openness is always better is not something I can agree with. I have suffered miscarriage 4 times. Where close friends or relatives have been aware they have either not known what to say or they have seen it as not being like the loss of a ‘real’ baby or they have simply brushed it off as ‘one of those things’. By the fourth miscarriage we told far far fewer people and even then there was a level of awkwardness that made it hard for us to gain any support. But beyond all of this, our main and only priority has always been to ensure that our little boy is kept completely unaware of our losses. His happiness around tragedy, and his comforting of mummy’s ‘poorly tummy’ is what has got us through. To see him grieving for the death of a much much wanted sibling would have been more than we could bear.

  22. A heartfelt THANK YOU for all of the careful, candid information you offer here. I have found more comfort and practical support in your website than in any other source. An invaluable gift.

  23. At a time when I struggle to respond to all the heartfelt sympathy from friends and family I appreciate the personal and “digestable” information that I have found on this site. Thank you for creating this platform where we can share these perplexing stories.
    My second pregnancy ended at 9 weeks. I had just had a sonogram 3 weeks earlier, everything was “perfect”
    Leaving the hospital with no explanation was difficult but it certainly helps me to keep a healthy perspective on the situation when I read real life information about the choices I am making today.
    I cannot agree more with the comments already posted. Thank you

  24. I am mostly a reader because of all off my lose. It is hard to deal with. Let alone write about or tell anyone. Most of my family and friends feel sorry for me. ” Poor Laura”!

    Five years ago I learned I have a chrom problem which is a inversion of the P and Q on the 14 chrom. Before my one and only son who was born in 2004. He is a true miricle! I have had 10 miscarrages, 2 IVF fails with my own eggs and 3 with donor eggs and 1 tube pregnany.
    Have you ever talked to someone with the same problem?

    So my most recent IVF with a donor egg has brought me to a place where I just can’t do this anymore… IVF for me was horrible I never got a positive blood test and it made me feel like by body was failing me. Plus the money OMG!

    My husband want’s me to try again the natural way. Why?

    Before all the lose I wanted to have a baby so I could have a family and be a Mom. Now I just want my son to have a sibling! I am an only child and I don’t want him to be alone.

    I often feel like I’ve done all I can more then most people would do to have a baby. But in the back of my mind is still what keeps me awake at night and makes me cry. Should I try one more time? Or will I be OK if I don’t?

  25. Hi Deanna,

    I just found your website tonight and wow what a blessing. It is 3:47am, have no one to talk to and have finally found a community of women who would understand me.

    I found your website by accident. I am having post-m/c first period symptoms. I googled “period after miscarriage” because I am having such terrible terrible cramps (worse than I have ever had). I was scared something was really wrong. But after reading info and some entries by other women on your site, I am relieved to find out these cramps are “normal”. Oh thank goodness; I was so scared.

    Anyway, I am still so glad to have found your website. This is my fourth m/c and I never feel like I can relate to anyone. Your site has so much information and personal stories. It is the personal stories from yourself and other women that make it special. I am so tired of reading clinical advise and info from medical sites. It is depressing and sometimes quite scary to say the least.

    This website has breathed hope into my heart. So I thank you. And I feel like I can sleep a little better tonight knowing there is a place I can turn to when the days are just too dark to be alone.

    Thank you so much Deanna.

  26. Deanna,

    Thank you for what you do. I wish that my mother had a resource like this when she lost 3 pregnancies between my sister and I over 30 years ago. Things were very different then – no one told her it was not her fault, no one told her why, or what she was supposed to do after losing a baby.

  27. Hi,

    I had D&C on Sept 17th the day i turned 39. I found out at my scan the week before the baby had stopped growing at 8 week. I was devasted as I know I am in my late thirties and I really wanted another child. I am ver thankful to have a beautiful 14 month old little boy whom I love dearly. The after effects of miscarriage are awful but I feel I need to stay positive. I have a quesiton I drink one coffee every morning at work and one cup of tea in the evenings, I rarely eat chocalate the occasional bar and eat healthy. I am freaked out as I keep reading caffeine can cause miscarriage and i cant get this out of my head. I dont smoke and have the occasional glass of wine, am I beating my self up over this as its only 2 weeks since my loss. Thanks eveyone and best of luck to everyone who is trying for a baby again. Caroline mother to Peter Breen 14 months and little angel in heaven.

  28. My name is Mitsi. I found out friday night/saturday morning that my baby has passed. I had also lost a baby to SIDS 3 years ago and it feels like going through that all over again. I will find out today what my options are and go from there. I am scared and a little lost. I couldnt find an email and wasnt sure where to post my story so this is a condensed version of it. From the looks of it u live somewhere in texas. I live in the southeast area around beaumont myself. I just wanted someone to talk to and really liked ur site when i found it. Thank you

  29. Hi. I had a m/c at 8 1/2 weeks, 6 weeks ago. I had an ERPC, and then needed another one a month later. I’m 40, and have an 18-month old. I’m desperate to have another baby, and I know I’m old and my chances are diminishing daily, while I have to wait to try again. I’m trying to stay positive, but the grief I’m feeling is overwhelming, and I’m blessed to have a child so I shouldn’t feel this way. Your site has helped me enormously – thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  30. Deanna, Thank you so so much for this site. I’m sorry for your loss, it’s a tragedy but I am so thankful that you were able to make a positive out of it. I too had a miscarriage about 3 months ago. I don’t have any girlfriends that have been through it so it was difficult to talk to anyone about it. My girlfriends listened, but they truly did not understand the grief. Now that I am in the process of “trying again” it’s hard to find information out there. Ant frankly the doctors are not really trained in helping those of us with the answers we need about our bodies and what to expect after a loss. Thank you so much for the site. Sincerely, Katy Hosenfeld, Blue Springs MO.

  31. Deanna: This site is a wonderful one – more comprehensive and informative that any, really. And the compassion and understanding is its key component. It is a great thing you have done for all of us, and also yourself. Thank you so much for your time and giving. Just learned I miscarried at what I thought was 9 weeks but was actually 6 weeks. Still trying to understand, learn answers, etc. Thank you.

  32. Thank you so much for this website! I never write comments on websites or blogs, but this time I really wanted to say thank you. When I lost my baby at 8 weeks I searched the internet for information. I didn’t find anything near as resourceful as your site. Thank you once again!

  33. Dear Deanna,

    Thank you for this website. My husband & I lost our first baby 2 weeks ago. I had light spotting for 5 days, then bright red bleeding on 1/18. I thought I was 8 1/2 weeks, but the ultrasound showed I was measuring 6. They sent me home from the ER with a threatened miscarriage, but my body completed it later that same day. I haven’t had a D&C. The ultrasound also showed some fibroids, which I never realized I had. I have no idea if they caused problems with this pregnancy or if they will cause future problems. I’m still waiting for my hcg levels to drop below 5. Waiting for my body to get back to “normal” feels very frustrating, and I have to constantly remind myself to be patient. I feel like I have so many questions & different feelings, and your site always addresses them — I don’t feel stupid or wrong for feeling the way I do. And of course, I have so many questions. Your site has been a real source of support in a terribly painful time. I visit it frequently and always find what I need. Thank you for all of your kind & compassionate words.

  34. Deanna – your site has been most informative of all the sites I’ve researched during and after my miscarriage at about 4 weeks in October 2009. I passed the tissue naturally within 1 week and had 4 regular cycles following. After my cycle in the beginning of February, right around ovulation time, I began spotting. It has been 2 weeks now and I am wondering if the tenderness in my breasts means that I am ramping up for a true period on schedule with the rest. Everything I am reading about mid-cycle spotting post miscarriage is directly after miscarriage or referring to ovulation spotting (which I’m thinking this is not).

    Please help me determine if this is “normal” and if I can expect my hormones to go back to “normal” after another period…

    Any thoughts and comments would be very helpful, as we’re of course, planning to start trying again soon.

    Thank you for all you’ve done for all of us.

  35. Deanna,

    There are no words for how thankful and grateful I am for your website. To have such careful and practical information compiled in one page helped me through the worst of days of devasting and excruciating pain after my missed miscarriage was diagnosed on January 8, 2010. I would like to share my story as maybe one day it could help someone make a better decision of how to deal with a missed miscarriage.

    I was offered four options on that day in week 12 when the ultrasound showed that my baby’s heart had probably stopped beating in week 8 when we had seen it the last time: 1) Wait it out, 2) use medication to induce the miscarriage, 3) have a D&C in the Doctor’s office under local anesthesia, 4) have a D&C in the operating room under general anesthesia. Because I wanted to have genetic testing of the baby’s tissue, options 1) and 2) were out. Also, I had this incredible sense of urgency to resolve the situation as fast as possible that I took the option of a D&C under local anesthesia in the doctor’s office which was available two days later – instead of waiting a few days longer to get the procedure done in the operating room (I admit I am also really afraid of general anesthesia).

    It turned out that the two D&C procedures are slightly different (at least in the hospital I was): In the doctor’s office, the suction device used is small and hand-operated, while in the operating room they use an electric device that is much more powerful. Moreover, even though the local anesthesia was quite good, the D&C experience in the doctor’s office was not exactly pleasant and my tension in response to the pain and the weird sensations made it difficult for my doctor to get all the tissue out.

    I ended up with leftover tissue and my pregnancy hormones have not dropped below 150 in the seven weeks after the D&C procedure in the doctor’s office. These were seven weeks of depression, frustration, endless blood testing, many phone calls with my doctor, ultrasounds, and therefore constant reminders of the miscarriage. This week I couldn’t take it anymore and had my second D&C, in the operating room under general anesthesia. I can only hope that this is the end of it.

    Learning your baby is dead will forever be one of the worst experiences in life and making a good decision in this moment is almost impossible. Nevertheless, resolving the physical side of the miscarriage as smooth and as fast as possible can help to limit one side of the pain as it at least gives the platform to move on. So as an advice, in case you are offered different types of D&Cs, do better than I did, choke up the questions through your tears of what exactly each option means and what the success rates are – I know you don’t really care at that moment, but I can testify, you will care a lot for many weeks after.

  36. Deanna,
    I lost my first and only baby two weeks ago at 9 weeks pregnant. I have struggled to find peace and STILL haven’t found it.
    I want to say in the two weeks I’ve been searching for answers and compassion and hope I’ve found all those things in your website.
    I want to tell you how sorry I am for your losses and to thank you for what you’ve done to help me begin the healing process of mine (as well as many other women).
    Thank you Deanna, for reminding me that I’m still a mom even though I didn’t get to hold my baby in my arms… and thank you Casey for making such a difference in this world. What a big difference for such a tiny person.

    PJ’s Mom ~ Charity

  37. I must echo all the many words already expressed by others: thank you for this thoughtful and informative website. OF all the sites I have visited yours has given the best and most comforting advice. I know I am not alone, but part of a sorority of women who have also experienced this pain and grief, and while I would have much preferred to NOT be part of this sorority it has helped so much to hear and read about yours and other women’s experiences. Thank you.

  38. Hello Deanna, First you have 2 beautiful kids. You all look great. 2nd. I have enjoyed reading from your site. it is indeed informative and inspiring. I would like to use some of your info in my baby magazine in Africa. This will encourage many young parents who are facing complications.i will ofcourse acknowledge the source. i wont take any life stories of other readers but only the general information. please advise. thank you and blessings to your work Cath

  39. Dear Deanna,

    I had a miscarriage in Jan 2007. I read through your website many many times. The best one out there and really comforting. I now have an almost two year old daughter! I followed your advice and also followed the sperm meets egg plan (SMEP) and it worked like a charm. It worked the second time we tried it exactly how you have mentioned it. I have been forwarding that page to my friends who have not had any miscarriages but are trying to concieve.

    Thank you again.

  40. Hi Deanna-

    Thank-you for this website it is helpful. I have a question for you that I can’t seem to find an answer to and I’m hoping you can share some insight. I am pregnant again after a miscarriage and D&C about 7 months ago. I saw the heartbeat at 71/2 weeks on U/S and then at 10 weeks found out baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks and I had no idea.

    With this pregnancy I went in for what was thought to be my 6 week ultrasound to date the pregnancy and it showed me to be only 5 weeks. I had another again at 6 weeks they did find fetal pole and heartbeat. The dates don’t make sense b/c I used and ovulation predictor test and showed an Lh surge that dates the pregnancy a week later than the ultrasound, I also had a + pregnancy test 10 days after the Lh surge though with a very faint line. Is it possible to have an Lh surge but not ovulate until several days later? I am concerned the U/S dates are off because there is a problem with fetal growth. Then I had some spotting 2 days ago (pink discharge when I wiped) no cramping. Any insight, I am going crazy with worry.

  41. Dear Deanna,

    I want to thank you so much for you site here. It is the only place I have found really practical help on what to expect when I lose a baby and with how to deal with others. When I come here I cry and cry for all our losses.

    I am a medical student in teh UK who will be starting the obs and gyne clinical rotation next year. I am also a 40 year old woman who would love a child but has had 4 losses. It is so frustrating that medicine has so little to offer for this problem especially in the light of the super advances that have been made with IVF.

    I would love to be able to recommend your site to patients of mine one day.

  42. Deanna, I have not had the chance to comment on your site yet. I first wanted to say that I am sorry for what you have been through. Than I wanted to say that I love this blog and you inspired me! Our stories are SO, SO similar..

    I suffer from unexplained recurrent miscarriages. I thought that it may be my job as it was stressfull so I quit when I was pregnant for the third time(with only an adopted child) with twin babies. After I lost my twins at 8w4d I too did not have a job or a baby. It caused my Fiance( we can not get married until my mom is granted a pardon to leave the country to come) to lose it. We recently broke up and I had too much time on my hands. The loss gave me too much anxiety to go out so I survived on savings. I recently too started a blog, it is based on trying to conceive however. Our two sites link hand in hand as you can not have a miscarriage without conceiving and most mothers will TTC after a MC. I am hoping that I can link to your site, is that alright? I could not find a contact page, so please e-mail me. I am hoping that you will too link to mine. Thank you so much for all your hard work.

  43. Yours is the first site I’ve visited to give clear, practical help, advice and support, and I really appreciate it.
    I’m 44, and I had a missed miscarriage 7 weeks ago and a D&C at 12 weeks. I haven’t found any sites that tell me what to expect physically at this age. Has that D&C destroyed my fertility for good now? My cycle hasn’t returned, and I understand that it may take a while, but I worry that I have been catapulted into menopause, especially as I’m now having pink cm (for last 5 days) which makes me wonder if my hormones are totally torpedoed. Any advice gratefully received…xxx

  44. Hi,
    I am wondering if you are published. I looked on Amazon.com for Baby Dust but didn’t find it. I also don’t know your last name to do further research.
    Thank you.
    Debbie McCulliss

  45. Dear Deanna,

    I thank you very much for this site, this site has been my savior for the last two weeks while i waited for my karyotyping results.

    I am 28 yrs old and had two mis-carriages (first 11 weeks and second 10 weeks) within a year, the second mis-carriage was more painfull as i had to undergo D&C procedure twice, the last one to remove the bits left out from the earlier D&C. Both times, the doctor saw feotus in the 7th week, but it did not grow after that.

    Today my karyotyping results came out as normal and all my test so far shows normal, my gynaecologist has asked me to undergo 3-D scan to check uterus irregularities.

    My last two period were short (16 days cycle) after the two d&C. Your site offered a lot of information about what to expect after a D&C, i am very much releaved from the mental stress now and hoping everything will be back to normal.

    Eagerly waiting for my appointment next week with my doctor to check whether i can start TTC.

    Again i thank you so much !!!

  46. Debbie, Baby Dust will be released in October 2011 for Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. It is currently still in production. We should have a cover by the end of the year and review copies in May.

  47. Thank you sooooo much for all of your hard work and research. I had a miscarriage in August and felt so lost and alone. Your site gave me strength and hope. We followed the sperm meets egg plan to a t after waiting one cycle and are thrilled that we got pregnant right away. Thank you so much. I bookmarked your site and have gained so much strength and information in the last few months.


  48. I just wanted to tell you that I just finished writing a very long story about my own miscarriage. While I was going through the experience I found your website and wanted to tell you how much it helped me. You have so much helpful and important information. It really offered me a beacon through the storm, and allowed me to feel prepared (at least somewhat) for what to expect, and to begin to feel okay about what had already happened. I appreciate your strength, support, and willingness to provide this service to so many confused and heartbroken women. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *