These memorials were placed as posts on the Facts about Miscarriage forums that ran from 2005-2007. If multiple messages were left in the same thread, they are all here together even though older posts from other years may be mixed with 2007
This list goes backwards from December 2006 to August 16, 2006. Older messages may be mingling with newer ones as entire threads for the same family were kept together.
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Anonymous
Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:34 pm Post subject: Sweet baby
Missing my sweet baby…knowing you’re in the arms of Jesus.
missliz66
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 7:09 pm Post subject: Little Rich
To Our Little Rich, we would be six months along right now. Oh how I wish you could have stayed. I know you’re there in Heaven with all your Nannas and Papas. I never stop thinking of you. I never will. Mama.
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Anonymous
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:56 am Post subject: To my angel i never held
Hey sweetheart i know God is taking care of u in heaven i miss u everyday and will always remember u your always in my dreams and prayers always know mommy and daddy love u and will see u in heaven love u angel merry christmas
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Jessica-E&A-
Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 1:08 am Post subject: Ethan and Andrew
Hello my precious Ethan and Andrew. It’s only been a few days since God called you both home. Mommy misses you so so so much. I dreamed last night that I was rocking both of you to sleep. I woke this morning with my heart so heavy. I’m trying so hard not to be angry because I know that your Eternal Father, your Grandma Dorothy and your Great Aunt Sue are taking care of you until the day I get to come and be with you. But as much as I look forward to that day, I’m thinking about all the things that I dreamed of doing with you; the day I would get to hold you, singing you to sleep in grandma’s rocking chair, seeing your first smile, hearing your first laugh, waiting to see how much you’d both look like me… It’s just so hard. 19 weeks just wasn’t long enough my babies, it just wasn’t long enough. I love you both so much my precious ones.
-Mommy
Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:56 am Post subject:
Hello My Precious Ones,
Mommy misses you. More than I ever thought possible, I miss you. The why’s and what if’s just bowl me over sometimes. Why did God call you home so soon? Why did he let me get pregnant if I wasn’t meant to hold you, rock you to sleep, snuggle you in tight just so I could smell your sweet baby smell? Sometimes I rub my belly where I felt you growing and just cry. I feel so lost without you my angels. Do you here me talking to you? Do you catch the kisses I blow to heaven for you? Do you dream of me like I dream of you my precious babies? Mommy loves you so much!
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:16 am Post subject:
Hello my precious ones,
Surprise Surprise, you are girls!! Mommy loves you soooo much my angels. Gender didn’t really matter, I just wanted you healthy and happy. But, when I thought there was only one of you, I asked God for a beautiful little girl… He blessed me with two!!! How loved am I that I got two of you!!!! I miss you my sweet babies. I started your memory boxes today. Meema and Aunt Jenna are gonna help me tomorrow. Meema misses you both so much my sweet ones. Sometimes we just look at each other and we’re like mirrors. There were times, babies, that had it been possible, I’d have thought she wanted you here with us more than I did!!! Well my sweet ones, it’s time for Mommy to drag herself to bed. I hope to see you in my dreams!!
-blows kisses to heaven-
Mommy loves you Emery and Addison
AJ
Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: Merry Christmas My little Angels
Well if life had been kind I would either have an 8 month old or a 4 month old now. Instead you are little Angels, probably singing Christmas Carols with all the other Angels.
So
To Faith and Hope I want to say Merry Christmas, we love you and wish you were here to share our Christmas.
Love Mummy and Daddy, Lily and Josh.
AJ
faith
Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:52 pm Post subject: You would have been beautiful
I would have been the best mummy, would have dedicated every second to you my beautiful, but i wasn’t the right time for us to meet, your in my every thought! so sad i never got to tell you I LOVE YOU
Madara
Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 3:11 pm Post subject: My Little One
I loved you from the first time I knew I was going to have you. I miss you and think about you every day. I know you are in Gods hands all safe and warm and I look forward to the day when I can hold you in my arms.
I love you.
Mommy
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ibhuff
Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 12:08 am Post subject: Our angel
We had the D & C: December 1, 2006
Username: ibhuff
EDD: June 28, 2007
Lost at 9 1/2 weeks
gender unknown
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jenlw
Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 6:32 pm Post subject: A year since we said goodbye Reply with quote
Dear angel baby,
I think of you often. It’s hard to believe we said goodbye a year ago (tomorrow). I will try to be strong and find joy in the day, because that is what you gave me. Joy. I miss you so much.
All My Love,
Mommy
PS Daddy misses you too.
12/3/04
Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:24 pm Post subject:
Baby,
It’s been two years but feels like yesterday. I think of you often, daily. I feel like everyone else has forgotten you but I promise, my baby, to never forget you and to love you always.
I love love love you,
Mommy
The little flame flickered and fought
But the cool breeze carried it to heaven…..
12/3/04
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Camryn(Cam)
Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:26 pm Post subject: One of God’s blessings
My DH came across this one night right after our loss. He didn’t show it to me until almost a month later because he didn’t think I could read it w/o crying. Well, I still can’t.
————
Angel baby in heaven, Mommy loves you and cries for you everyday. Not one day goes by that I don’t think of you. I know you know that. Your entire family loves you but your Mommy and Daddy long for you everyday. I promise someday I won’t cry but that will be the day I’m headed Home to be your Mommy! xxxxoooo’s
My Mommy is a Survivor Angel
My Mommy is a survivor,
Or so I’ve heard it said.
But I can hear her crying
When all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn’t know I’m with her
To help her understand.
But like the sands upon the beach
That never wash away…
I watch over my surviving Mommy,
Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others…
A smile of disguise.
But through heaven’s open door
I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My Mommy tries to cope with my death
To keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her
Knows it’s her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving Mom
Through heaven’s open door…
I try to tell her
Angels protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn’t help her…
Or ease the burden she bares.
So if you get a chance,talk to her…
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says…
No matter what she feels.
My surviving Mommy has a broken heart
That time won’t ever heal.
~Kay Des’Ormeaux~ author
Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject:
Little Angel:
Just remembering you today and everyday. I lost you one year ago on 4/15 and I have missed you everyday. Losing you has made me who I am now, some good and some not so good. I send you hugs and lots and lots of butterfly kisses!
Mommy loves YOU
Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:47 am Post subject:
Today I should have a baby that is one year old. It is hard to imagine that a year has passed. The pain is still fresh somedays and my baby’s memory never goes away.
To my angel whose sitting at God’s feet, I know you are in the best place you could possibly be. You were too special to place on this earth so God put you in Heaven with Him. Someday we will get to be together but in the meantime please know you live in my heart never, ever to be forgotten.
Love,
Your mommy
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:08 pm Post subject: Aiden Levi
We miss you so much. We know you are safe and with God. We love and will see you in time.
_________________
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 7:34 pm Post subject:
Aiden,
I have thought about you so much. I wonder what you look like. What color eyes you have if you look like me or your daddy. You are sooooooo loved and we miss you. You were only in my belly for a little while but your always in our hearts.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:11 am Post subject:
Aiden,
You are never going to be forgotten. I think about you so much. I know your safe and with God and Poppy tell him hi for me. I love you. Hannah still talks about you her baby brother. At Carissas party she let some ballons go into the sky for you. Hope that you got them!!!!~
Forever
Love
Mommy
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:11 am Post subject:
Aiden,
You are never going to be forgotten. I think about you so much. I know your safe and with God and Poppy tell him hi for me. I love you. Hannah still talks about you her baby brother. At Carissas party she let some ballons go into the sky for you. Hope that you got them!!!!~
Forever
Love
Mommy
Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:09 am Post subject:
I love you. Missing you is so hard. I just want you to be here with me. Your my one and only sweet baby boy.
Forever Love
Mommy~
Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:18 pm Post subject:
I miss you so much baby boy
Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 12:17 am Post subject:
Happy thanksgiving I wish that you were here with us
Naomi
Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:49 pm Post subject: I am missing you so much angel babies
I know you know, but I wanted it out there in hard writing too. Thanks to my counsellor I am now recognising my other 2 early losses from when I was younger.
Love Momma
msmegan
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: i wrote this yesterday,
my sister lost her baby last month and it was hard on us all, i wont even pretend it was as bad for us as it was for them but i thought it might help to read it. it helped me to write it.
Friday, November 10, 2006
“i wish i knew why”
I never got to see your face, I never got to hold you tight.
You never got to see this place, you never had your day or night.
I loved you from the minute I knew, I couldn’t wait to see your eyes.
Thankful that you’re in Gods view, but even that not stopping the cries.
I think about how much love was in you, the joy in your mom and dad.
The plans made, the fights over names and wonderful times to be had.
I don’t know why some go right back to him, but I cant wait to see you there.
I’m glad you never had to deal with this sin, but honey, I wish you were here.
I know it’s selfish and not for your best, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting.
He could have had someone who needed the rest, and this sorrow wouldn’t haunt me.
Do you grow in heaven or do you just stay the same, waiting for mama to come early?
When I see you, will you be wise and grown, or playing in some heavenly nursery?
Did an angel run to scoop you up, was I “I get next!” their plea?
Did you feel his embrace when you saw his face “Let the children come to me”
I miss you baby, we had such high hope, and of course I was rooting for a nephew. 
Knowing you’re with Jesus helps me cope, that, and grandma’s coming soon to hold you.
megan
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Eeyore
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: A year ago you slipped away…
To my dear SAMMY,
I remember the weeks of pure bliss knowing you and loving the thought of you! The innocent ignorance of the heartache that was to fall on me….I never even dreamed that something so perfect, a blessing so sweet could be snatched away in so short a time. I went to the ER naively believing that I was just going to get sent home with a “take it easy at work.” I never could have known that the news would be so crushing. Your father and I spent the next few days shut inside, breaking down at the sight of each others sad faces. I felt like I let him down, let you down and did something wrong that could have caused this horrible thing to happen.
But looking back, I know that you were sent to me to teach me so much. I know that my experience led me to this support group so that I in turn could help others. In the future I can help others thru their grief and give them hope and comfort. You never realize this as you go thru the pain but I see now that it has shaped me into who I am and who I will be when I become a mother. I have cherished every day of this pregnancy and I will value each moment I spend with your sister all the more because you have taught me how precious each life is. I love you for this and I am so thankful that you were a part of my life…
Play sweetly with the other angels listed here….
Love you always,
Mommy
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Sherri
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 2:41 pm Post subject: You would have been 3 today
I still miss you sweet baby. time has lessened the grief, but not removed it from my soul. I wonder who you would have been, what you would have been like now. i’ll always wonder i guess….. You never had a chance to live here on earth, but i hope you are happy now, wherever you may be. I feel comfort knowing your little brother has a guardian angel watching over him. I just wish we could have met you.
Rest well sweet baby
Anonymous
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 12:40 pm Post subject: Today would have been your due date..
Today would have been your due date. But you were never ment to be I suppose. I sit here today crying and thinking of you. I should be holding a precious baby in my arms right now yet I sit here with grief instead. I love you and miss you everyday. I’ll never forget you even though you was with me 13 short weeks.
Love,
Mommy
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m&bsmommy
Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 7:36 pm Post subject: I lost you one year ago today….
And I still feel it as if it were yesterday. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you, and what might have been. Losing you was the hardest thing Mommy has ever been through. Our time together was so short, sweet angel, but it was the most precious, pure love imaginable. I know you watch over me, and I know you have your brother or sister up there with you now to keep you company until the day we are all reunited. Mommy is so sad she lost you both, but it is bittersweet knowing you are not alone up there. Someday I will be there with you, too.
Until then,
Love,
Mommy
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Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join Yahoo!’s user panel and lay it on us.
m&bsmommy
Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 7:36 pm Post subject: I lost you one year ago today….
And I still feel it as if it were yesterday. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you, and what might have been. Losing you was the hardest thing Mommy has ever been through. Our time together was so short, sweet angel, but it was the most precious, pure love imaginable. I know you watch over me, and I know you have your brother or sister up there with you now to keep you company until the day we are all reunited. Mommy is so sad she lost you both, but it is bittersweet knowing you are not alone up there. Someday I will be there with you, too.
Until then,
Love,
Mommy
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MikesGirl
Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:57 pm Post subject: A song
I heard this song today. It’s not about a baby that died, but a woman’s husband…but the chorus reminded me of my little Malachi and made me tear up…
I probably wouldn’t be this way
I probably wouldn’t hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it
Oh You left so fast
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes I feel an angel’s touch
Sometimes I feel that I’m so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me a moment’s grace
‘Cause if I’d never seen your face
I probably wouldn’t be this way
Leann Rimes
IAMMOTHERALWAYS
Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:56 am Post subject: My precious opal
I lost you three weeks ago this past friday. I can’t believe that it’s only been 3 weeks and my grieving feels like it’s been occurring for years now. I know I never got to name you and put together your nursery, but I never expected to lose you. My body feels like an empty shell, without your healthy heartbeat and growing body inside me. Your heartbeat was your voice, for those few seconds I heard you once, talk to me and tell me everything was ok. And now it’s not. I miss you so very much that I cry when I think about when I saw your lifeless body for those few minutes. When I knew that I was no less a mother because I didn’t have a physical body to show, I knew that I had to become a stronger person to survive. That you were in my life for 14 weeks, growing, knowing you were loved. Although I needed you here, I need so much more to know that I did what I could to make your passing my gift. I wanted to see you for those few second and know that I created that baby, and gave the gift to her to pass lovingly and naturally. And although I know it was hard to give birth naturally to a baby I knew I wasn’t bringing home, I left part of me with you the day I gave birth. I left that love even though the heartache was tremendous. I love you and can’t wait to see you again someday. And I hope that in the future you look down and see your brother or sister and know that you are STILL a part of the family. You will never be forgotten, and NEVER be replaced. I wear a gold baby shoe pendant with your birthstone, opal in it to remember you and show everyone that I was a mother. I want them to know that. I love you baby girl.
Cheryl Sholter
Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 7:58 pm Post subject: MY LITTLE SWEETIE
Hi my little one Iam feeling a little sad today so I thought that I would write to you and tell you that I am thinking about you and I miss you so much. I am feeling so depressed and I would give anything to have you back and to welcome you into the family and to see your smile and watch you grow but unfortunatly you had to leave us to soon. I miss the feeling of you in my tummy but most of all I love you so much and Iwish the best for you on day in time we will all be together.
Love you so much
love mommy
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smiletime
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 2:19 pm Post subject: October 7th 1999 I lost my baby girl
It sometimes feels just like yesterday that I lost you. You are never far from my thoughts and will always be in my heart.
jesicabower
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:13 am Post subject: Another one for Phoenix
Poem 1/6/06
A 1,000 tears fall from my eyes each day
It didn’t help because you’re not here safe
I tried to wake up but it didn’t go away
Iy didn’t matter that I tried to be brave
I might not have been ready but I was willing
I thought that at least should count for something
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be
By now we should have been a family
But you’re not here and it’s all wrong
I can’t believe it’s been so long
You see to me it was only yesterday
When my whole world just died away
A part of me thought it was just a prank
Like it would all go away when I would awake
It all happened so fast it couldn’t be real
But you aren’t alive and I have to deal
You haunt my dreams but don’t answer my prayers
You get under my skin all 100 layers
How can I accept that your not coming back?
How do I accept what I’ll always lack?
I know in my heart I’ll see again.
Will you protect me if I can’t wait until then?
Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:02 am Post subject: For Phoenix Lynn
Poem for my little angel.
You were what I always thought,
And what I never knew.
You were what I always dreamt,
But what I never viewed.
You’re what I’ll always have,
But what I never had.
You are what gives me joy,
And also what makes me sad.
I’ll forever carry you in my heart,
And keep you on my mind.
I hope to move on someday,
But I’ll never leave you behind.
This is for my unborn baby,
I already lost you but I will spend the rest of my life trying to get to you again.
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Miranda
Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:14 am Post subject: your a girl
Hi baby,
well now I can name you and your name is
Hannah Rose Brickley and you were due on 10th April 2007
The doctor just rang to tell what you were but he said that they could find no reason as to why you left me,I guess you had your own reason for that and maybe one day I`ll find out.
Until we meet again and I get to hold you know that I love you dearly little one and you will always be a part of me and in my heart.
I love you Hannah
Mummy
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Dru
Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:57 am Post subject: My Baby Angels…
Mommy and Daddy love you very much, and miss you every day. We know you’re watching over us from heaven, and we also know your grandfathers are taking good care of you until we get there.
Love always,
Mommy
Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:32 pm Post subject:
Thank you baby angels for giving us your sister Mackenzie. Every time she falls asleep she smiles, and I know it’s the two of you whispering in her ear.
Mommy and Daddy miss you and love you every day.
All of our love….
Mommy
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dancingmelissa
Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 1:50 am Post subject: To Baby Milagro
Our little Miracle,
You were going to be our first little one. I feel guilty that I was rooting for a girl. But I’m pretty sure that you were a little boy even though you stopped growing at 6 weeks. I love you so much that I just couldn’t let go of you until 7 weeks later. You were going to be due on Daddy’s birthdate 03/21/2007. I will be 29 and your daddy will turn 28 on that day. Daddy and me miss you.
I wanted you to know that I lost my sister Michelle, too. May you find each other up there and keep each other company. Even though I can feel you looking after me, mommy still wishes she could hold you. Also you should know that your name means Miracle in spanish. Because that’s what you are to me. You will always be in my heart.
Love
Mommy
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jackieblue
Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:42 am Post subject: To Baby Jagger
To Baby Jagger lost at 13 1/2 weeks (lived 12 weeks 3 days inside my tummy but forever in my heart) Due March 19, 2007
Baby Jagger
She often thinks of you
And what you might have been
If you had stayed here with her
When you can to earth back then
She sometimes longs to hug you
And look into your face
And tell the world she’s proud
When you travel life with grace
But she knows that you were special
And that you could not stay
And that there is a time and place
You’ll meet again someday
Until then she’ll remember
You’re not far away
And that you’re probably watching
Over her each day
JJ
I miss you & love you!
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emmastarr*
Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:36 pm Post subject: i posted this before but got cut off..
I’d like to say I named you. I didn’t.
Your daddy was very sure you were a girl, and in his head he gave you the name I chose for our daughter back before we even knew we’d be together when we used to joke that we’d have kids together because…well, who knows why we joked it, but back when we were just friends we did. Before we even thought there might ever be an us, never mind a you.
I find it hard accepting and admitting there was a you. There’s a very long story there. But I always suspected I was pregnant. I was fairly damn sure of it. I’ve had a doctor and a nurse tell me there’s no reasonable doubt that you were there. I believed you were, until someone told me you were.
Mummy is like that. She’s very self defeating. I had no right to lose you, to feel your loss. When I was numb, I didn’t doubt that you’d been there. When I started to hurt, I started to punish myself with the thought that I was mourning nothing.
I looked you up on a calculator. At the time everything ended you were five weeks old, which in arcane counting means I was seven weeks pregnant with you. You had arm and leg buds and on good, clear ultrasound pictures your head was pretty clear. Your heart only had one chamber but it beat 150 times a minute, twice as fast as mine. As soon as I heard that particualr fact I loved it. It’s amazing, isn’t it? A little tiny heart you’d need a microscope or an ultrasound to see racing away deep inside me.
Your heart would have started to beat on the 13th September, four weeks ago today. Of course the reality is that you’d probably died by then. The reality is you may have been a blighted ovum, and never really formed at all. But I can’t bear that. In my mind your heart beat and you lived. I don’t know why, it shouldn’t, but it kills me to think of you being dead as soon as you existed. I hope your little heart fluttered about in there. I hope you formed and mitosed or whatever the word is for the past tense of the process of cell division. My body was pretty much still pregnant, so I hope you were still hanging in there til the end.
We didn’t plan for you, me and your daddy. I don’t know how much if at all your little cells quietly doubling while I sat there typing psychiatrist’s clinic notes was interrupted by my taking the pill. I hope that wasn’t what killed you. I don’t think it’s possible. It might have been mummy’s insanity drugs that saw you off.
Maybe mummy did something bad a few years ago. Well, there’s no real maybe about that, but maybe you were sent by some cruel bastard fate to plant yourself in me and then die just to give me penance for a bad thing I did.
You poor baby. That would be so cruel. I hope to god that isn’t what I did to you.
You were due on the 9th May. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about that close to the time. I’m not sure how I feel now.
Would you have stayed if you’d known I wanted to fight something that’s kept me cowed and scared my whole life so I could be your mother?
Your dad has a pin on the inside of his jacket. It’s a little crystal angel, and it’s wings are emeralds. Emerald is your birthstone. The start of that word sounds a bit like your mummy’s name too. I just noticed that. Odd.
He wears it because he loves you and he misses you. I gave it to him. I wanted him to have you with him. He’s lovely, your father. If I’d been trying I couldn’t have chosen you a better one. I wish I had the time and energy to tell you all about him. Your daddy believes you’re an angel now. He’s very clever, and he studies Philosophy, and he’s been able to reconcile himself with a belief in a god and a heaven that lets him be comforted to think you’re up in a lovely heaven being cared for by people we loved.
Oh, little smudge-bean thing, I hope that’s true.
I have a nana I lived with when I was a tiny baby who died, and when we lived together she’d sneak me out of my cot and into her bed at night. If she has you now she’ll be clucking over you like nobody’s buisness. I can see you having a face. Me and your dad looked similar as babies. We both had dark blue eyes and little clumps of black hair so it’s not too much to suppose you would have too. I hope you pull faces like your daddy did. His baby photos always make me smile.
I love that thought. But the hard part is that I don’t think like your daddy, and the only image of a god and heaven that I can maintain is ones that would send mummy to hell. So for me to believe you’re safe and loved and in a beautiful place I have to believe I’ll never be with you.
And I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I’ve never been good enough and I guess it’s too much to hope there’d never be any payback.
But I do miss you. I miss all the things you won’t be able to be now.
You weren’t made on purpose, but I don’t regret it. I love your daddy, and nothing that comes from me and him being together could ever seem wrong to me.
I remember the night we concieved you, actually. You’re covering your ears now so I won’t tell you, but just know you weren’t random. You were a postscript, a little tangible spark from us that landed and ignited. You were a one chamber heart that beat too fast to hear. You were arms and legs and an X and another X that may have split in half the next week.
I don’t know what you really were, but your daddy sees a girl and that’s how you were when you left us, Lily.
There’s a bunch of lilies in my room. I thought about your name when I bought them, and I’ll think your name when I see them open and I’ll be sorry your little leg buds aren’t waving around inside me when I smell them.
You really don’t know what you got yourself into, baby.
But we loved you, and I hope you’ll forgive me.
_____
megans mommy
Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:33 pm Post subject: It is almost 2 years
My darling Megan,
I lost you 2 years ago this month. My body and mind still ache for you. Even when my mind is preoccupied with something else, my body seems to remember all on its own. Losing you has changed my heart and my soul. Please know how much you were wanted and loved. Please give grandpa a kiss for me, and I will give you big sisters and baby brother one for you. I love and miss you every day.
Love,
Mommy
Megan~ missed miscarriage 9/04 due to Turner’s syndrome
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Mom of Girls
Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 9:52 pm Post subject: Loss at 3 months
It has been 2 years since my miscarriage at almost 12 weeks. I was able to find out after an emergency D&E that is was Chromosomal and it was a girl. I was sad, but knew that I still had a beautiful 1 1/2 year old at home I must care for. Somehow though it didin’t seem fair. It started 3 years ago when I went to a Fertility Doctor and poured our money to them. In March of 2002 my father in law became ill and I decided that I needed to stop. I really believed that Adoption was the only way, but that saddened me because I wanted to have something that was a part of me and my husband. YOU KNOW? In March my father-in-law passed away and we were sad, but we remember the look on his face as he was dying. It was as if to say “I am dying so that you may have your baby” In May 2002 I found out I was pregnant and due February 18, 2003. We were happy but very cautious. After all those years of trying and 5 plus years of marriage we were finally going to be a family. I bleed for a short bit in the beginning and put on bed rest at 27 weeks but on February 14 she was born and we cried because he missed it. She was amazing and we were happy. 1 1/2 years later we found out we were pregnant again. I was overjoyed, I went from the women who couldn’t get pregnant to the women who was going to have it all. The 4th week in I began to bleed. The doctors said for me to rest and put my feet up everything was fine. My HCG levels were going up and they gave me and ultrasound that showed a happy baby at about 8 weeks and a beautiful heartbeat. I asked the tech for a picture, but she forgot and joked that next time she would be sure to remember. I was stupid, I should have laid back down and said “NO, I need that picture now” I really needed something to hold onto because I had a feeling even after that that I was losing this baby. A mother always knows her babies. At about 11 or so weeks I was still bleeding and I was starting to think I should be feeling something anything. Bloating, sickness, tiredness, anything. I wasn’t and I called the Doctors and they rushed me over for an Ultrasound. My Mom went and we got a sitter for my daughter. The Tech said nothing during the ultrasound. My mother (a nurse) knew something was wrong. She asked 4 times to hear the heartbeat because I had told her how beautiful it had been during the last ultrasound. The Tech said ” I think you should get dressed, I will have the doctor call you at the front desk”. I said “I want a picture” and she said that she is not authorized to do that. I asked point blank “Did I lose my baby?” She said “Please get dressed, ma’am” I got dressed I assume, but I don’t remember. I don’t remember walking down the hall of the hospital and I surely don’t remember sitting in the hospital waiting room. I remember them calling me to the front desk after 30 minutes and hearing my friend and my ob/gyn say “I am so so sorry Christina, but there is no…can you come to the office and I can talk to you in person” I said yes and my mother rushed me over. I didn’t talk the whole way over, but my husband called to see how is little baby was doing and I hung up on him and he called my mother who told him that we think something was wrong. I screamed for him to go home to our daughter and wait for me there. In the office they made me wait another 30 mins and then apologized because they didn’t understand the situation. Now my baby was a situation. My friend took me and my mother to her office and hugged me. I said lets get real what the hell is going on! She said I am sorry but the heart has stopped beating and we think that you should be admitted tonight for a D&E. I said no and that I would call her when I am ready to say goodbye, God put this baby there and he will take it away. I went home hugged my little girl, oh so thankful that I had her and kissed my husband. 2 days later I began to hemorrage and I was admitted for an emergency D&E and when I woke up they told me that the baby was still attached and that it was a fight Weeks later the report came back and I was told all about my baby. It was a girl and the problem was chromosomal. That most these types are boys and never last past 6 weeks. I was told again about how my baby was a fighter. I know I said. She wanted me just like I wanted her. Over a year later and I was still thinking of her. We named her Angel Rose and I know she is in heaven with my father -in-law and he just loves her. I was given an opportunity to go to a travelling display of deceased individuals and there was to be a special exhibit of babies from conception to birth . I think it was called Body Works. I was hesitant, but I thought maybe seeing a baby (even though deceased) at 3 months it would help me in some odd way. It did, I now can say without any hesitation that my baby was a living being and she was real even though I never saw her here in person. I finally had closure, well as much closer as I can. I will never ever forget my baby girl and I think that I am lucky because I have an Angel looking down on me and my family forever.
Angel Rose,
We love you and are blessed that you shared you life with us. You are always welcome in our hearts and in our minds. Remember my love I will see tonight in my dreams and we will play and dance and laugh forever. Till then …Mommy loves you!!!
_____
Julia
Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 5:10 pm Post subject: To my baby….you will not be forgotten.
You were everything I ever wanted. We love you always and forevermore ! I will always remember you and the joy I felt when I found out I was pregnant with you. No one can ever take that joy away. It was pure joy. I will never have that same experience again. You were everything we ever wanted and we miss you every second of every day that goes by. You are always going to have a special place in our hearts. I always wanted you and I always will wish you were still here, but alas, it was not meant to be. I will always wonder how it could have been to be your mommy. I know you would have been well taken care of and loved! How you would have been loved every day. We love you more than words. I pray you are safe and know you are loved. To our angel in heaven.
Mommy and Daddy (for 9w2d).
Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 8:09 pm Post subject: I miss you….
To my baby, It is my 28th birthday today and I miss you. I wish you were still inside of me. But God had other plans for you. Not one day goes by that I do not think of you. You are so loved. My angel. You are forever a part of me.
Julia
Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 5:13 pm Post subject:
To my dear angel baby. I love you and I miss you. I know you are ok and I wish this Mother’s Day I could have been anticipating your arrival in October, but I am not. I think of you every day and will love you forever. I wanted to be your mother so badly. I always will be your mother in my heart. Not one Mother’s Day will ever go by without thoughts of you, dear angel.
Love you, Julia (mommy)
Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 10:46 am Post subject:
Now that I am ttc again I feel your loss even stronger. I love you little one and do not know why you did not make it. I will always remeber how happy I was with you growing in my tummy! I love you!
Now always and forever my first baby.
April 6, 2006 9w2d
Julia
You will never be out of my mind. Each day I wake up and think of you, each night you are on my mind as I go to sleep. I pray to God that one day I will have a baby to hold n my arms.
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 9:30 am Post subject:
To my baby angel,
As daddy and I embark upon another pregnancy know we have never forgotten you. Please watch over us from heaven and pray for us.
I am so scared because I do not want this baby to be lost like you have been. I am trying to tell myself daily that life cannot be controlled and that I must just believe that God will help me though.
Praying for you my little angel.
Love Mommy
April 6, 2006, 9w2d
Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 1:42 pm Post subject:
I am so scared now because I know how it feel to be totally in love with you my angel and to lose you was the most painful experience I have ever had. No one else unless they have gone through it can understand. I am trying to be positive but it is difficult not to be scared. I am lucky to have your daddy with me and by my side. Please watch down on us.
Love, Mommy
To my angel in heaven,
I saw this poem on someone else’s post and thought of you. It made me tear up. I miss you. I would be 30 weeks by now and preparing for your arrival. Looking at baby pictures today with my parents was hard because I miss you so, I ache for you in my heart each moment I breathe. This is how I feel about you. Thank you for touching my life if only for a few weeks. They meant something to me and your father. We love you and always will.
To my angel,
How very softly
You tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently,
only for a moment You stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footsteps have left upon my heart.
Angel Baby 9w2d, April 2006
Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:37 am Post subject:
I am so happy daddy and I saw a heartbeat today. My angel please continue to watch over the pregnancy and and pray for us.
We will never forget you and you will always have a place in our hearts.
Love Mommy and Daddy!
Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 4:46 pm Post subject:
My baby angel I still think of you each day of my life you are a part of my now. I am forever a changed person. I am different than I was before you. I cannot explain how but I just am. I love you and am having a difficult time believing in this pregnancy even though I have a good feeling about it from the start. I had so much hope for you, so very much hope, but God needed you. Daddy and I have decided that we are trusting in God for this new pregnancy and if it ends then we will be going the adoption route for certain and asap. I love you please watch over us and the new bean.
Love always, Mommy
Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 9:25 am Post subject:
Dear Angel, I am now at the date I lost you in my first pregnancy, 9w2d, and these past few days have been quite difficult. I am hoping for the future and fearful that Iwill have news like I did with you. I will never forget those fateful words, ” I am sorry it is not good news…” I will never forget you and you have a special place in my heart. I am not bleeding now but had a bleeding scare two weeks ago before San Francisco and thought it was happenng all over again. It did not and I continue to pray that God will take us down the path that is intended for us. Pray for us during this difficult time, and know we are thinking of you always. My baby angel.
Lord pray for us.
Mommy to an angel.
Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:42 pm Post subject:
My dear Angel, I am really scared about my new pregnancy as I do not feel pregnant, I am so scared something is wrong. I do not know how normal pregnancy feels so I fear that I do not have enough symptoms. i need you to watch over me and pray for baby bean and daddy and I to make it through. I feel that my bbs are not sore enough and that I am not even sick!!! (altough it did not end I just never felt sick really). I am tired and occasionally get headaches, I am thirsty and pee alot but is this enough????? Pray for strength and watch over baby bean.
Love, Mommy, Julia
_____
Janine
Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 2:42 am Post subject: A year ago i lost you….
A year has past but today i grieved for you again…I will never forget you.Thank you for what you taught me in such a short time.Your flowers started blooming on the plant I planted for you a year ago, thank you….Love and light forever, mummy j
_____
AJ
Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:46 am Post subject: Missing you.
My little Angel Hope, you would have been getting big now, I would have been halfway 20wks this week. I miss you! I know you are safe and happy being an Angel and that your big sister Faith is with you but my heart still aches.
Love you
Mummy
Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:10 am Post subject: A prayer for my grief
Dear Lord
If only there was a less painful way for you to make your Angels.
For that must be the reason my babies are not by my side.
Please take care of them for I love them so.
I wish I were there with them but I am not yet meant to go.
Amen
Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 9:36 am Post subject:
I finally found tickers that I like for you.
Love Mummy
Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 2:16 pm Post subject:
Hope, you would be gearing up for your big entrance just waiting and getting fat. I miss you.
AJ
Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 2:46 pm Post subject: I Miss You!
My Little Angels,
Hope, I cannot believe it is almost a year since we lost you. The pain has lessened but it is still there.
Faith, We would be so close to holding you in our arms now, my heart aches with the loss of you and Faith.
I will never forget you my precious little Angels.
Mummy
Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:22 am Post subject:
Hope – You should have been here with us now, I cannot stop thinking about you today!
I miss you!
AJ
Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 1:30 am Post subject:
Well My Little ones, Hope, you should be with me now and Faith can it really be a year since you grew wings. I miss you both everyday.
Mummy
_____
aidenswings
Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:21 pm Post subject: I can only hold you in my dreams
I knew before I should that you were there. I didn’t want to know. You let me know I had a beautiful little boy within me, and let me know that his father would not be there no matter what he said. I didn’t want to believe it. I cried alone and afraid when it was confirmed – a heap on my bathroom floor. I struggled and wavered and was not sure I could go on. Finally I gained clarity. I wanted you. I was afraid, but my love outweighed my fear – I would give up anything for you. The next day there was pain… pain like I could not have imagined. At first I thought you were restless and moving but as it progressed a whole new fear welled within me. Rushing to the hospital did not help, the efforts to stop your early arrival were in vain. I will never forget the horror when I felt your head escape – the knowledge that you could not live outside my body beat me over the head. I failed you. My heart imploded as you emerged without a single push. They pronounced you stillborn and all I could think about was how 20 minutes before I had heard your heartbeat. The only thing that kept me sane was the morphine they pumped into me – it calmed me enough to let me hold you all night.. sing to you and kiss you. Every second I expected you to open your eyes… grab my finger.. cry… but you never did. From the moment they let me hold you your body did not rest alone until they took you from me the next day. I didn’t sleep for fear that I would wake and you’d be gone. You’re in the arms of your uncle two young angels who will keep each other laughing.
Sometimes when I close my eyes
I can see your smile
hear your voice laugh
watch you dance
listen to you sing
but it is only in my mind
you are my angel
and I can only hold you in my dreams
I will never forget you Aiden.
_____
AIM
Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 12:34 am Post subject: To my Babybears
Dear Babybears;
It has now been a month since you both left me, and I still miss you more then ever! When I found out that I was pregnant with you, your daddy and I were so happy. We couldn’t wait to hold you and give you a wonderful life.
The day I found out that there were two of you was both happy and bittersweet, for it was the same day that God took one of you home. I wish I could have known you both, to have seen you and kissed your sweet cheeks.
I want you to know that you were loved from day one, you are loved and you will be loved. You two are our angels watching over us and teaching us to love again.
Rest in Peace my sweet babies and know that you will never be forgotten and I love you always and forever! July 30, 2006 and August 1, 2006
_____
LaMamiDeDiego
Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:18 pm Post subject: My babies Reply with quote
Gavin – I lost you a few hours after I found out I was pregnant at 5wks. The Chinese Gender Chart said you would’ve have been a boy. You should’ve been born sometime in April 2006. Angel
Josephina Marie – You were with me longer than Gavin even though I love him the same. I saw your little heart beat on ultrasound at 7 wks. I had another appointment to hear your heartbeat for the first time at 12 wks and the doctor was unable to find it. We went to see you on ultrasound and found you had left us at 8 wks. I will never forget your little face when I saw it for the last time. I had to have a D&C to remove your earthly body but I know that you’re spiritual body is in Heaven right now. You’re due date was supposed to be March 2nd, 2006.
_____
jena5angels
Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:35 am Post subject: Madison’s Birthday
I wanted to post on the Angel Dedication board, but sadly it is down, but I still wanted to post something.
Madsion,
Happy Birthday! I just wish that I was spending this day with you, instead of alone. I miss you so much and I wish that I could be holding you right now.
I keep thinking about today, 3 years ago, I keep thinking about all of the events surounding your birth. I wish I knew then, what I know now. I know I still would have lost you, but things would have been so different. I would have asked to have been induced, instead of letting them do a d&c. Just to of held you for a minutes would have meant the world to me.
I would have asked for your remains and done a barrial for you, so I would have a place I could go to, to talk to you, on days like this. Or any other day I wanted to be close to you.
I wouldn’t have gone to that hospital that threw you away like surgical waste! I still can’t believe they did that to you! After finding out if there was anything wrong with you, how could they just throw your body away? You were my baby! Not waste!
I love you so much, and I always will hold you in my heart. You are my little girl, and you fill so many of my thoughts and dreams.
I will see you tonight in my dreams where we can play together.
Love,
Mommy
_____
daizydo
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:31 pm Post subject: sad mommy
I think of the three of you every day. You are loved greatly and all have a star in heaven. I will always be your mommy.
AnnaM
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:17 am Post subject: Four Early Angel Chicks
Daddy and I think of you all every single day and we have a special little sore spot on our hearts for each one of you. One day we will meet again and you will see your sister and brothers for the first time. Mummy and Daddy love you as much as all the grains of sand on the beach…… xoxo
_____
DW
Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:40 am Post subject: 1 year ago
It’s been one year since we said good-bye
I miss you so much my sweet sweet baby
My arms ache for you
How I wish I could smell your sweet baby hair
I even wish I was changing your stinky diaper
I long for the day the Loud Trump sounds
The day I see Jesus I will see you too
Oh how I miss you so
I once had a dream that you lived
Your life was the worst kind of pain
I prayed a prayer that no mother should pray
I prayer that you were never born
I bargained with God
God! Let me take my child’s pain! Give me the pain!
Surely God You can understand!
When I awoke I felt like God answered my prayer
This last year I have carried that pain with me everyday
Oh baby, your daddy misses you too
He held you
He fell to his knees & buried you
He loved you
He longs for The Day of The Lord
He tried to drink you away
He Cried our to our Savior “Save ME!”
God took him in his Mighty arms & held him & healed him
Sometimes I see him cry for you
Just know baby, Daddy loved you
Your were conceived in the deepest love
Your death was our deepest pain
We love you
Our baby lived 12 weeks 5 days that were filled with love
We said good-bye August 22, 2005
DW
_____
Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more.
daisybayberry
Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:40 am Post subject: 1 year ago
It’s been one year since we said good-bye
I miss you so much my sweet sweet baby
My arms ache for you
How I wish I could smell your sweet baby hair
I even wish I was changing your stinky diaper
I long for the day the Loud Trump sounds
The day I see Jesus I will see you too
Oh how I miss you so
I once had a dream that you lived
Your life was the worst kind of pain
I prayed a prayer that no mother should pray
I prayer that you were never born
I bargained with God
God! Let me take my child’s pain! Give me the pain!
Surely God You can understand!
When I awoke I felt like God answered my prayer
This last year I have carried that pain with me everyday
Oh baby, your daddy misses you too
He held you
He fell to his knees & buried you
He loved you
He longs for The Day of The Lord
He tried to drink you away
He Cried our to our Savior “Save ME!”
God took him in his Mighty arms & held him & healed him
Sometimes I see him cry for you
Just know baby, Daddy loved you
Your were conceived in the deepest love
Your death was our deepest pain
We love you
Our baby lived 12 weeks 5 days that were filled with love
We said good-bye August 22, 2005
DW
_____
daisybayberry
Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:45 pm Post subject: sweet bilbo
my little love, my little angel–I miss you so much. I think of you every minute of every day. I can not think about you with happiness right now because I feel so much sadness. I hope someday I can think of you with a smile. Such a short time, 11 weeks with you inside of me. I had many hopes and dreams for you. It is hard to think the dreams are over. I love you. You are with God now. Vo and Voo are there and they will take care of you
_____
Swifty
Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:34 am Post subject: Hello my sweet angel
Hello darling little girl,
I can’t stop thinking about you at the moment. You should have been in my arms in 8 days but you had bigger and better plans. Mommy is trying to move on, but sometimes finds it hard. I just need to get past you EDD (17th August) I will try and put on a brave face, but I will shed a tear for you, as I’m doing right now.
Missing you always
Mommy
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:21 pm Post subject:
Hello Jamie,
Well today should have been your day, instead I’m sitting here with a flat belly. Your dad and I are planting a Gardenia shrub today to remember you by, I can see it when I’m cooking in the kitchen. I want you to know that I’m having an ok day, your dad has been a wonderful support.
Missing you.
Love mum and dad.
Jamie 19/02/06
_____
andi0411
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:09 am Post subject: FOR MY DARLING SWEET CHILD
To my baby taken from us so early. Just know that mummy and daddy love you so much and think of you every day- we wish you were here with us but, God willing, you’re in a far better place and we will see you there.
Mummy and Daddy.