Archive for About Deanna’s Book

Come talk with us about how you grieved after your loss

I’m writing a new book! Just like back in the day with Baby Dust, I’m hoping you brave mamas will share some of your stories so that this book will be as real and as helpful as my first one was.

We’re off to an amazing start, with some 500 mamas already coming over and some 50 comments already in place on the early posts.

I hope you will join us, and as we go along, I’ll be sharing what I hope can be helpful about the book, plus we’ll be giving away more prize and memory boxes (two have already been won!)

Come see us!

Forever Innocent by Deanna Roy

15 Years Since Casey Died, and a New Outreach!

One of my life’s works it to keep Casey close by expanding my reach to families who have lost a baby. It’s hard to imagine that this year, Casey would be getting his learner’s permit and start driving!

This year, I’m starting a new book and a new page for couples who are having trouble with their relationships after their baby dies. I get so many letters from women asking, “Is it normal for my husband to act like nothing happened?” So many feel betrayed by the one person who seemed to have been as invested in the pregnancy as them, and this cuts the hardest.

It’s hard to explain that the law of relationships is at work here — only one person can fall apart at a time. And that they don’t intend to make you feel more alone. It’s just what happens.

The new page on Facebook is called Forever Innocent, which will be the title of the book I’m writing. There I will be listening to your stories. We’ll be helping each other. And hopefully, in the end, we’ll work together to make a book that will have the resonance of Baby Dust. While that book deals a lot with the loss itself, this new book, which has a couple reunite four years after losing their premature baby and walking away from each other, will be for those couples who have struggled with how to manage their love for each other when so much of it was caught up in the goal of building a family.

Go visit the page and leave your experiences! I can’t wait to talk to you all!!/foreverinnocentbook


A great day for Baby Dust

A couple weeks ago, an administrator from the web site Pixel of Ink contacted me, letting me know they wanted to feature my book. I was completely in shock, as this web site is one of the biggest Kindle sites on the web. And they were going to feature me?

Today has been the big day, and I’m so thrilled that more people will learn about the book, and hopefully more moms and dads and families will learn they aren’t alone in what they’ve been through.

It’s an amazing day in this journey–Casey Shay, sweet baby, look where you are now!

Go see the feature!

Mother’s Day Give Away #2

So many things out in the world are there just to help Baby Loss Moms. I’m always amazed by the talent and love that so many mothers put into their art. Some highlights

Sculpture by D.  Antonia Truesdale.

Angel Lullabies by Amy Robbins-Wilson.

And of course for Give Away #1, the poems by Nicole Breit. Did you comment to try and win a copy? GO!

I watch over all these things, and last year, added my own book to the mix, Baby Dust.

So today’s give away will be a copy of Baby Dust. The winner can get a paperback copy or the ebook for an ereader.

The book follows five women on their pregnancy loss journeys.

Melinda is 35 and has two step children, but lost her first baby in the first trimester.

Dot is 27 and discovered at 20 weeks that her baby had no brain.

Tina is 17 and went into labor at 19 weeks. Her baby lived for 40 minutes.

Janet is 32 and ended up with a molar pregnancy, which can become invasive cancer.

Stella is 44 and had 2 first trimester losses and multiple failed IVF. She never had children.

Comment to win a copy! I will probably give away several. I have to empty out this closet before I start trying again myself at the ripe age of 42!

The book trailer features the stories of several women from around the world. Double click to see it larger.

Building a relationship that survives miscarriage

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this topic since I started writing Stella & Dane. This couple has pretty tough beginnings, small town, disapproval, and both of them have a lot of growing up to do.

I know that in this story, they will weather more than the average couple. Two miscarriages. Multiple rounds of failed IVF. Eventually, they will give up on having children. And due to Dane’s terrible past, they won’t ever be able to adopt. I’m sure Stella often wishes a baby would drop from the sky.

By the time we meet them in my book Baby Dust, they are a well established couple, one to be envied in their devotion to each other after all this history. But how did they get this way? What built a relationship like that? It’s been on my mind as I form their love story.

I’m not sure I have the answer. The father of my angel babies and I divorced, and that shared history was lost. He and I were the only people who were really close to those babies and those hopes. It’s a hard thing. We clearly didn’t have what Dane & Stella had. We fell apart.

Recently two of my baby loss mom friends got divorced. In both cases, the men just walked out of the relationship. How does this happen? What causes it?

And more importantly, what creates a relationship that weathers this?

Disappointment in how the father handles the loss is one of the most common sources of upset in the emails and messages that I get. The fathers aren’t sad. They don’t get it. They want the moms to “get over it.” Is this part of what creates the rift? How do we get past that and back into a loving relationship?

I’d love to hear from moms with wonderful supportive partners after a loss.

And if you’d like to see how Stella & Dane develop, I have a mailing list where I share their story as it goes along. Currently they are still young and immature. Stella’s grandmother, the only person she’s ever felt loved her, has just died. And she’s ready to blow out of town, with or without her new man, Dane. But life is about to deal a severe blow, a course of events that their lives will never recover from. If you’d like to follow it, you can sign up and get updates as long as you want, unsubscribe if it doesn’t interest you.  Stella & Dane’s list.

I’m about to get remarried. I can hope I’m doing better this time around, and we’ll have to adopt as I’m too high risk for babies anymore. I’m looking for answers too.


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