Archive for Grief

Free bumper stickers for Mother’s Day

Our sister publishing company, Casey Shay Press, is giving away 100 “I believe in angels” bumper stickers in honor of Mother’s Day in the US.

If you have a US mailing address, visit the Casey Shay Press Facebook page to nab one before they are gone!

Anyone who orders the baby memorial book at 25% off (making it less than $15) will get a free sticker during the “mom” promotion.

We’ are always trying to find ways to keep our babies close.

Ideas for Mother’s Day

Oh, what a troubling day this is, especially if you have yet to bring a baby home.

One of the reasons I started Casey Shay Press was to come up with ways for us to remember and celebrate our babies, even if they were only with us for a few weeks of pregnancy.

Early this year, I created In the Company of Angels: A Memorial Book, which is a record book to put down all your thoughts and hopes and dreams for the baby you lost.

Then, a few weeks ago, a fabulous graphic designer friend created a new bumper sticker for me that reads, “I believe in angels.” It is so beautiful! Go see it!

I encouarage you all to come up with your own ideas.

  • Plant a tree.
  • Buy a little baby statue for your yard.
  • Start a journal or diary of your days with baby.
  • Donate to the March of Dimes or a SIDS charity.
  • Start an Oct. 15 (Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day) walk.

Some of the best healing comes through taking real action toward keeping those memories close.

The memorial book is 25% off through May 15 in honor of Mother’s Day in the US. And we are all mothers.

If you want to get your hands on that angels bumper sticker, the publishing company will be giving away 100 of them when they come in during the first week of May. Keep watch on our Facebook page for the giveaway! Once they are in, anyone who buys the memorial book while the Mother’s Day special is going on will automatically get the bumper sticker for free.

When we have so little to remember our babies by, a pregnancy test stick, maybe a sonogram, or just our throughts, anything can mean a lot.

Have the best Mother’s Day you can. It’s okay to be upset and disappointed, to cry or to be angry at what you lost. It’s all part of the recovery. Just don’t let anyone tell you that you are not a mother.

You are.

My life, hard times

I keep getting behind on comments. I truly apologize, ladies.

Last year, my second little miracle baby, now seven years old, had her first Grand Mal seizure. Since then, we’ve had to work hard to figure out what is best for her — medication or not, special help at school, what we should do. Amidst this, her dad and I have decided to finalize our separation with divorce.

And so, life is a little rough over here. Elizabeth was a twin, and her twin was lost at 10 weeks. When the neurologist first talked to us about Elizabeth’s condition, which involves brain malformations present from birth, she asked, “So what happened when you were 10 weeks pregnant?”

So we don’t know if the loss of the twin was part of what disrupted Elizabeth’s brain development. Or if her twin had it too, and didn’t survive. The nuerologist is continually surprised at how normally Elizabeth has grown and advanced despite a very unusual brain.

Anyway, this is my life. You are here because yours is hard. I only tell you these things by way of apology.  I worry I will have to work full time soon, and the site will suffer. I’m working hard to get my publishing company going so it can help me stay focused on this work, books about miscarriage, this site, and helping other grieving moms. It’s struggling too. It’s all a struggle. It may not be enough. I will do the best I can. So will you. Because that’s all we can do.

If you’d like to learn more about Elizabeth, here’s a video I made about her condition.

Managing the holidays after loss

So many of you are writing me lately. I don’t mind at all, but I do worry about the sudden increase in despairing moms who have lost their babies during what is supposed to be a happy time of the year. The joy and laughter around us can make us feel more isolated and alone. Remember you do not have to put on a brave face, and you can take time away from the big groups to remember what you have lost.

I have a whole section on managing the holidays, but mainly, just do the best you can. It’s all anyone can ask.

A little video reminding us that it is okay to grieve:

Casey Shay Press is the publisher of In the Company of Angels, a memorial book for babies lost to miscarriage or stillbirth.

Preparations for the Oct. 15 Candlelighting

The big day is coming up. Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Thursday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time to participate in the International Wave of Light.

I spent today making votives for the people coming to the one here in Austin, Texas. If you are hosting one, and would like to use this label for votives of your own, feel free to right-click and “Save picture as.” It is designed for standard address labels, Avery 8160. It does not have to be printed in color. It looks good in black and white too.

candle-label

The Austin candle lighting will be at the lighted fountains in Butler Park, which is behind the Parmer Events Center (Long Center.) It’s easiest to park along the street on Riverside. We generally light them by the water’s edge, but you will find us by our candles.

Here are the final votives and how they turned out. You can get little candles like these for about $4 a dozen.

web-votives-2009

Blessings to all of you who will mark this day for your lost babies.

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