Archive for Mothers
November 21, 2009 at 1:03 am · Filed under Miscarriage, Mothers
At the candle lighting last month, I had the pleasure of meeting Hannah Silk Kapasi, an artist local to Austin. She let me know that as part of the Mexic-Arte museum’s Dia de los Muertos exhibit, she would be putting together an altar for babies lost to miscarriage and stillbirth.
Hannah lost two babies to stillbirth in less than a year. I visited her altar at the exhibit, where she had tributes not only to her children, but also let visitors add to chains of bracelets with the names and dates of their own babies.
So many wonderful and proud mamas are doing great work to help get miscarriage out of our secret lives and into the open, where we can talk about it without discomfort.
See more pictures.
May 9, 2009 at 6:02 am · Filed under Grief, Holidays, Mothers
This Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day in the US. If you are at this site right now, I know your dreams of motherhood are not going the way you thought they would.
Maybe you were pregnant and recently lost your little one. Maybe you’re in the process of miscarrying now. Or maybe you’re having scary symptoms and fear that a loss may be imminent.
No matter where you are in this journey, you are a mother. You felt hope and joy when you learned you were expecting. You made plans and dreams about your baby’s future. You wanted nothing more than a happy, healthy baby.
This is what all we mothers want. It makes no matter whether you were a mother a few weeks into a pregnancy, or 80 long years of life: you are a mother. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
On Sunday, we celebrate you. Even when the thought of being a mother is bittersweet, on this day, I like to just remember the sweet.
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Need to connect with other mourning moms? Our Facts about Miscarriage Facebook Group is a new community of women united in our losses, to tell our stories, leave our pictures, and find each other. If you belong to Facebook, join the group and invite others. Joining Facebook is always free.
May 10, 2007 at 4:47 pm · Filed under Grief, Holidays, Miscarriage, Mothers
I know it can be a hard day. Every marquee at every restaurant touts it. Sentimental commercials broadcast emotion. Your inbox swells with gift suggestions. The grocery store explodes with floral arrangements.
And here you are. Your baby isn’t here. You expected a swelling belly, or maybe even the bundle to be here. Or like me, maybe yours should have been scrawling crayoned rainbows on handmade cards by now.
But, you feel you have nothing.
Think of this way:
- Did you feel joy when you learned you were pregnant?
- Did you plan and hope and dream about the day your baby would arrive?
- Did you want nothing more than a happy, healthy little one?
How is this different than every other mother? Are mothers whose children die full grown any less mothers because their children are no longer here? Of course not.
You are a mother. You were the bearer of that baby’s future. You brought this baby into the world, however it happened, at four weeks gestation, or full term, in a gush of blood and pain just like every mother does.
Don’t believe for a moment that everything out there isn’t talking about you. It is. And even more so, because you have born a grief that could destroy a mother’s hope–the loss of her child–and you have survived.
It’s your day. Take it to remember your baby. And send up a quiet word of thanks to your own mother, wherever she may be.
Empty
Cradle, Broken Heart
