Sculpture by D.  Antonia Truesdale.

Angel Lullabies by Amy Robbins-Wilson.

And of course for Give Away #1, the poems by Nicole Breit. Did you comment to try and win a copy? GO!

I watch over all these things, and last year, added my own book to the mix, Baby Dust.

So today’s give away will be a copy of Baby Dust. The winner can get a paperback copy or the ebook for an ereader.

The book follows five women on their pregnancy loss journeys.

Melinda is 35 and has two step children, but lost her first baby in the first trimester.

Dot is 27 and discovered at 20 weeks that her baby had no brain.

Tina is 17 and went into labor at 19 weeks. Her baby lived for 40 minutes.

Janet is 32 and ended up with a molar pregnancy, which can become invasive cancer.

Stella is 44 and had 2 first trimester losses and multiple failed IVF. She never had children.

Comment to win a copy! I will probably give away several. I have to empty out this closet before I start trying again myself at the ripe age of 42!

The book trailer features the stories of several women from around the world. Double click to see it larger.

Over at A Place for Our Angels: Memorials for Miscarriage and Stillbirth Babies, we’re having a HUGE Mother’s Day contest. We’ve already given away several books to moms on the page.

At midnight on Friday, May 13, we’ll be giving away something extra special. We’ll donate $100 to the movie Peekaboo in your baby’s honor to get the baby’s name in the Thank You credits. You will also get a DVD copy of the movie when it comes out.

Peekaboo is a movie about a mother who loses her stillborn triplets. Read more about them in the post below.

To enter the contest, go to A Place for Our Angels and post a PICTURE of anything that reminds you of your baby (bear, jewelry, sonogram, photographs) between now and 10 P.M. Central Time on Sunday. Don’t forget to tell us his or her name!

Find a picture and click on the image below to go!

Take a look!

Peekaboo Post Production fundraising pitch from Big Buddha Films on Vimeo.

I’m not sure those of us in the US will get to see the movie unless we donate and get a copy that way. If you want it (and what a great thing to do–support them, get a copy, and host a screening with other moms who may have lost a baby), go to the page link below to support them!

http://www.indiegogo.com/Peekaboo-1

Shooting begins in mid-March, so it’s time to show them some support–time to say–it’s ABOUT TIME to get this issue more out in the open!

What can you do?

1. “Like” them on Facebook. Leave a comment. Get the word spreading.

2. Get a copy of the DVD when it comes out by donating. There’s no sure thing that it will be widely available to see, so ensure your copy right now by going to the Indie Go Go site where people like YOU help fund independent films. (They have just a few thousand dollars to go to be completely funded–they’ve already raised several thousand on their own.)

3. Already buying one of the Baby Memorial Books for your sweet angel? Casey Shay Press is donating $10 towards the filming of Peekaboo for every book sold through the end of February. That adds up fast! So GO, buy yours now! The book is $18.99 and is made specifically for babies lost to miscarriage or stillbirth, emphasizing the sweet memories of your pregnancy as well as having space for memorials and angelversaries. You don’t have to do anything special, the donation happens automatically.

4. Take action, talk about this, and know you have done something for yourself, for your baby, and for the moms who will come after you. The more we do, the easier it will be for each successive generation of grieving mothers to talk about their babies. Remember how no one used to talk about breast cancer? Look at the pink explosion now. Let’s make this happen for miscarriage and stillbirth too. We don’t have to shut our mouths. Our babies were real, our grief is real, and we shouldn’t just be quiet and get over it. The only way is to get involved.

Today I found another amazing woman out to get miscarriage and stillbirth out in the open — Debbie Howard. She is directing an independent film called Peekaboo in the UK. They are most of the way through raising the $10K needed to start production, have cast the lead roles, and well, listen to her tell it:

You still have time to contribute to the cause. Filming should begin at the end of February. If you’re looking for something to support in the name of your baby, this might be it. Go do it: http://www.indiegogo.com/Peeka-boo

Isn’t faith believing all powers can’t be seen?

Yesterday my almost-five-year-old (countdown to the big day–seven sleeps!) and I attended a baby shower for her preschool teacher.

One of the games involved each of the kids suggesting what Ms. Lindsay should name her baby boy.

The children mainly chose names of male classmates or dads or brothers. A few provided gigglers–Star, Sunshine, Happy Feet. One future class clown offered up “Poo.”

Elizabeth’s turn arrived. She seemed confused about this, and the teacher asked her if she needed more time. She shook her head, stood up, and said, “Matthew.”

My heart seized. She knew no Matthews. No cousins or classmates or friends. The only time she could have heard the name in her brief existence would be in Sunday School, where it would compete with the likes of Mark, Luke, and John.

But Matthew is a very important name to us. When we were told Emily was a boy at her sonogram, we chose Ryan Matthew as her name. Naturally she became Emily later when the high risk doctor told us–that’s an odd name for a girl!

When we got pregnant with Elizabeth, we decided we still liked Ryan Matthew but would prefer it flipped. So we called the baby Matthew early on when we referred to her in the womb, until her sonogram revealed she was also a girl.

But of course, Elizabeth was a twin. Her little sibling died and my water broke when I was only ten weeks pregnant. Elizabeth survived, although we had a week or two of uncertainty that the pregnancy would pull through.

We’ve named her twin Emma Hope, but after this baby shower, maybe we were wrong. Perhaps Elizabeth knows more than we do, and maybe, just maybe, some little presence whispered in her ear that morning, and for the first time, without even knowing it, she uttered a name she’d never before heard–her brother’s.

Yesterday I was randomly surfing Itunes for music and came across Josh Groban’s song “You Raise Me Up.” I loved his voice and today spent some time learning about this young singing sensation.

A few minutes ago I ran across this song and knew I had to post if for you ladies. I decided to link to this version of it rather than the actual video for the song as it features a woman as the subject, a lost love affair, but when he actually sings the song without images, well…you’ll understand.

Don’t do it at work, if you’re susceptible. Save it for a quiet moment…just you and your baby.

Josh Groban singing “To Where You Are” on Jay Leno

More information about Josh’s debut CD with this song. He’s done many CDs since:
Josh Groban CD

Take time out for this. It’s sacred time. And it’s okay to grieve. For hours, days, months, and even all your life. It’s how we humans are designed–to mourn our loss in order to hold our love and hope all the closer to our hearts.

I was in a bunko group, and four of us were pregnant. We all joked we’d have to forego the dice game for several meetings to have baby showers instead!

After losing Casey, I decided to quit the group. Some things I just couldn’t handle. I didn’t go to any of their baby showers either. I had no desire to torture myself.

Still, I couldn’t always be protected. A few months after the loss we went to a bar–a BAR–to meet up with some old college friends for homecoming. I felt it would be safe. No one brings babies to bars! (Remember Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama? That’s a good movie about pregnancy loss, by the way, and how the couple didn’t cope, then figure things out…)

We’re standing in the parking lot just outside the patio as it is so crowded with UT alum. Everyone is laughing and talking. No one knows about the baby–these are people we haven’t seen in years, so I could escape a bit. We’re having fun!

Then up walks one of my bunko friends with her baby! I couldn’t believe it! Here was an infant, the same age as mine should have been, all gurgly and cooing and dressed up. They were showing him off!

I promptly began this horrible hysterical crying, sobs and hiccups and dry heaves, then threw up behind a car.

Let everyone think I was drunk. Fine by me. Stupid people bringing a baby to a bar.

Okay; still have some latent hostility. Deep breaths.

So, there are all sorts of these kinds of things that might happen in the weeks and months following a loss. I’m going to try in include as many of them in the book as I can, such as:

• Baby shower invite
• Going back to work
• Seeing ex with a baby or pregnant new love
• Sister is pregnant
• Around pregnant women not taking care of themselves
• Around parents who mistreat children
• Baptisms at church

Did anything happen to you that you could share? Or can you think of other social situations I should include?