Archive for Remembrance Day
October 6, 2010 at 11:58 am · Filed under Deanna's Story, Grief, Remembrance Day
The big day is almost here! Pregnancy and Infant Loss Loss Remembrance Day is Friday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time to participate in the International Wave of Light. Check to see if there is a public candle lighting or walk in your area by visiting the official web site.
Once again I have designed labels for the candles I give to the families who come to the lighting I host here in Austin, Texas (which is Friday, Oct. 15 from 6:45 to 8 p.m. at the pond in Butler Park, which is behind the Long Center on Riverside Drive. Find us by our candles.)
If you are hosting a candle lighting (or just lighting on your own) and would like to use this label for votives, feel free to right-click the single label below and “Save picture as.” It is designed for standard address labels, Avery 8160. It does not have to be printed in color. It looks good in black and white too.
I have also uploaded a Microsoft Word document that is a whole page of these labels, ready to print on Avery 8160 or compatible address labels. Download that HERE.
Here are the final votives and how they turned out. You can get little candles like these for about $5 a dozen.
Blessings to all of you who will mark this day for your lost babies.
September 9, 2010 at 8:23 am · Filed under Remembrance Day and tagged: books, Casey Shay, remembrance day
Casey Shay would be 12 years old this weekend. He’d probably ride a new bike, or take off down the street on a new skateboard. He’d probably celebrate by playing Blazertag with his best buds, hoping his parents would stay clear of the party as much as possible.
But instead, he’s a shadow on a sonogram, a wave of movement caught on video. But his name is known. When you Google him, you find the publishing company we started in his honor, dedicated to healing books for women. You also find a picture of another handsome young man who died too soon, happy with friends and a new wife. You realize that tragedy is all around us, and only when we try to find its place in our life can we find meaning in our experiences, both the good ones and these terrible, terrible ones. This often takes years to happen, so if you’re new here, don’t try it now. Just wallow. Just grieve. Let the sadness wash over you, because this is tough. It’s the toughest thing people go through, losing children. Don’t let anyone make you think you should not feel it, or that it is small.
And get ready for the big month of October. Candle lightings and walks are getting ready for October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Go see if one is set up in your city. And if not, create one! It’s not too late. I set up my first one two days before the big day. Just get out and light your candles for your baby, and for Casey Shay.
August 11, 2010 at 3:07 pm · Filed under Miscarriage, Remembrance Day
October is coming soon — only seven weeks away!
October 15 is the international day for pregnancy and infant loss awareness as started by Robyn Bear. Many of us will only light a candle at home on that day, but some of you super-mamas out there will organize public candle lightings or memorial walks.
It’s not terribly hard to do, and I have some tips if you want to start a candlelighting or walk in your area:
First, find other grieving moms. A great place to contact is the grief counselor at your local hospital. They will know where the support groups are and can pass on information. Your own OB/Gyn’s office may also know, and if they don’t, find the biggest practice in town and call them.
It’s okay to start very small. Don’t be afraid to just get out of the house. The first year I knew about Oct. 15, I just grabbed my daughters and showed up at the shore of our Town Lake with my candles. I had a few extra, and it was amazing how people would come by and ask what we were doing, and how many of them felt touched by loss and just wanted to stay a few moments and remember, think, or pray. I sent them away with tiny tea lights, the kind you can buy with a bazillion in a package for a few dollars. Now I make a little sign that explains what we are doing to passers by.
If your group is small (under 25), you don’t need special permits any more than you would for a family picnic. Just go. If it grows, you can plan bigger next year, and contact the city and the newspaper and all that. But it’s okay to start small and simple. If you really want to walk and not just hang out, find a hike and bike trail or circle the grounds of a church, and don’t worry about a big event, blocking roadways or police escorts. Just walk. The t-shirts and media attention and hundreds of participants can wait until you’re sure you want to be in charge of an event and all the work that can mean.
Once I start getting a few calls or emails, I tell people who are coming that the best candles are in glass jars, and to let them burn down a bit before arriving, so the wind will not blow them out so easily. You can glue sonograms or pictures to the outside, or use paint pens to decorate them.
One small precaution I take is to buy a bag of electric tea lights just in case we are approached and asked to extinguish our candles. Some city ordinances don’t allow it, especially if there is a burn ban in effect.
I have a list of music that I burn to a special CD and play. I start it at 7:00 and it lasts exactly one hour. These songs are listed in the “Angel Songs” box over on the right hand side. You can listen to snippets right there.
Don’t be intimidated or afraid. Grab a friend, light some candles, and invite others. My little candle lighting has gone from just our little trio to about thirty people in just three years.
If you need more help, join Robyn’s Walks and Memorials Organizational Yahoo Group, where we talk about what we’re doing and get listed on her site.
October 15, 2009 at 11:36 pm · Filed under Remembrance Day
We had a lovely evening in Butler Park here in Austin for our public candlelighting for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
27 people from 11 families participated. The wind kept blowing our candles out at first, but we found some protection by the reeds along the shore and finally were able to keep them lit.
October 14, 2009 at 9:44 am · Filed under Grief, Miscarriage, Remembrance Day
The big day is coming up. Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Thursday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time to participate in the International Wave of Light.
I spent today making votives for the people coming to the one here in Austin, Texas. If you are hosting one, and would like to use this label for votives of your own, feel free to right-click and “Save picture as.” It is designed for standard address labels, Avery 8160. It does not have to be printed in color. It looks good in black and white too.
The Austin candle lighting will be at the lighted fountains in Butler Park, which is behind the Parmer Events Center (Long Center.) It’s easiest to park along the street on Riverside. We generally light them by the water’s edge, but you will find us by our candles.
Here are the final votives and how they turned out. You can get little candles like these for about $4 a dozen.
Blessings to all of you who will mark this day for your lost babies.
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