Death and God
I feel as though I’ve lost all faith in God.
It is hard to imagine a loving, compassionate God who would let things like this happen. What did an unborn baby ever do to deserve this? What have you done?
You may feel your faith is being tested right now, and it is completely understandable that you will doubt in God. Regardless of your religion, “Why, God?” is a universal question when we face suffering. In many ways, you will have to think your way through your conflicting feelings about a God that you love and believe in, but you feel has failed you. Your clergy, pastor, preacher, rabbi, or priest may be able to help.
I thought of it this way: God is here for us. He will carry us through our troubles if we let Him, but He does not guarantee that life will go as we wish. Death and suffering are part of our life, and our faith is there to help us through it, not prevent it. The last thing I wanted to do in my hour of need was to cut myself off from the only person who would not say something thoughtless or let me down–God.
At the bottom of this post, please feel free to add your ideas about managing these hard days in your religion. If you are not Christian, scroll down to read what others say or leave your own comments.
Thoughts for Christians
We should always remember that earth is not heaven. Heaven is our reward for going through trials, pain, and suffering of this earth and remaining faithful Christians. God does not always answer our prayers in exactly the way we want, but He is there, listening, and caring. Many words from the Bible are comforting for moms going through miscarriage. Here are a few:
About your baby:
Isaiah 49:1 – The LORD called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name.
Jeremiah 1:5 – Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
About you:
Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Mark 11:24 – Therefore I say to you whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
Jeremiah 33:6 – Behold, I will bring you health and cure, and I will cure you, and will reveal unto you the abundance of peace and truth.
Sarah W. passed along her experience with angels.
Both times I had to have the DNC, I asked the angels to just help me get through. The first time was more like a dire plea for help, with no politeness or really gratitude, it was more like ‘please just get me through this hell, any angels out there just please take me away somewhere and then bring me back once it is all over’ kind of plea. But strangely it really worked, and all through the experience I felt a huge love and support carrying me through. I managed to get through surgery being delayed for 4 hours, waking up half way through the procedure because I stupidly told them I was a sensitive person and they took this to mean I won’t need as much drugs, whereas I actually meant that I can feel the pinprick of a needle already a foot away before it has touched my skin, kind of sensitivity. Anyway, I got through it with lightness and sometimes even laughter.And the same last Friday when I went for my 11 week scan and discovered there was no heartbeat. I had to wait until Tuesday (2 days ago) to have the dnc and asked again for the angels to just get me through the weekend without me miscarrying myself or having any complications or fear. It seems to have gone well again, and I felt all Saturday and Sunday a huge feeling of love and compassion surrounding me.My belief in angels comes from a personal experience I had about 5 years ago following a break up of a long term relationship. One night while alone in the house, I experienced and felt (but not saw) a very overpowering energy envelope me, giving me the feeling of infinite, unconditional, and overwhelming, far beyond anything I can explain or have experienced, love. It completely freaked me out at the time of course, and it took me a few years to assimilate the experience, and all I can equate it to, in my mind, is that it really was an angelic presence.
So, occasionally, when I remember that I am also a spiritual being and not simply just a physical one, I remember to call on these guardians to support me through difficult times, and I recommend anyone try it. One doesn’t need a candle, a ritualistic approach, or any trite incantation to make it happen. For me, simply by asking from the heart, begging even (which most of us really want to do at times like this), wherever you are – in the car, in bed, in the hospital room, or at the midwife, just ask the angels to come and help you, to give you comfort, to get you through it, to just relieve some of your pain, or whatever you personally need or want, and you may be surprised what occurs.
I think a spiritual outlook or a philosophical approach can be the most invaluable at times like this. After all, us women are creators, we can create and nurture new life. That is so magical, and we have such a strength to be able to do that and to continue to try to do that. We mustn’t let the medical profession rationalise it too much, and get too bogged down in talk of chromosomes, progesterone…etc, but remember that something far more magical is at work, and we are the magicians.
If you would like to contribute additional verses from your own personal trove of scripture or sacred text of any religion, feel free to add them in the comments below. Miscarriage strikes women of every religion, and we find solace in our beliefs no matter where they originate.
11 Comments »
Thank you for your time and effort in developing and maintaining your website. My wife and I found it to be a great help.
We are Buddhists, and perhaps you would consider posting this regarding our recent loss.
We believe that we choose our life; our parents, our family, our friends, how we live, and how we die.
We believe that the life who chose us, did so to bring us joy, and to allow us to experience being parents.
We hope that next time, he/she will stay longer, and help us to experience even more joy.
Derek
My name is Melanie, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have recently lost my first baby, whom I had been waiting for three years. I t was been an extremely hard thing for me, but there is one thing that has brought me peace more than anything. As members of the church we believe that Families can be together forever, meaning that your relationship with your husband and children does not end at death. When we get married in the Temple, we are married for time and eternity. We believe that there will be a time that we will see each other again and we will live together as a FAMILY. This has brought me hope and has reminded me of how merciful God is that he will allow us to be with the people we love them most for the rest of our lives. There is a great website that explains this hope that I am talking about and it is h
ttp://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/basic-beliefs/heavenly-father-s-plan-of-salvation/life-after-death.
I invite every single woman who is going through the same thing I am going through, to visit this website. I promise them that this will bring hope and happiness to them and their families.
My best wishes through this tough time!
Melanie
A verse for your baby:
Job 10:12 – You gave me life and showed me your unfailing love. My life was preserved by your care.
I know. Thank you.
2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Apri l 11 2009 Good Friday a day usually filled with quiteness in home was filled with Smiles and laughter from me and my husband as we read the positive stick together and spoke to our unborn baby. We told our family that weekend at Easter dinner and with Monday came the sadness as I lost my Child in the bathroom stall at my work. I watched in horror as I felt myself having to flush my unborn child down the toilet. Yes I already have a child she’s 3 and I am so thankful for her and love her so much but the pain I felt the moring of the misscarriage was to much to bear. It’s now 9 months later and I cried myself to bed on the eve of what would have been my due date. Still not pregnant and still going through periods of much pain and sorrow. I still don’t have the strength to pray. but I am thankful for these versus. Although they brought me to tears they provided me some comfort. Thank you
Thank You for the comforting verses. Soon, in the middle of december our baby would have had his/ her first birthday, but we lost him/ her in miscarriage around week 10 to 12. I Still feel so much pain and sorrow, and sometimes anger, but I have some good periods too.. Thank you for sharing, I am glad I found this site!
God gave me strength, if it was not for him I know not how I would have managed. Some how I had enough to help my wife and family.
Our son Stephen left us on the 6th of November 2009, he was due 2 days ago. I sorted out the readings and the hymns, my wife and Mother in Law did their own flowers. All in all, its brought us even closer. Our first reading was Isaiah 49:1-4 which I read myself the rest are below.
Ephesians 3:14 – 19.
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,
From whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name.
I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant
that you may be strengthened in your inner being with the power
through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith,
as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may
have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and
length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that
surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the
fullness of God.
Gospel reading from Tanner Family Bible.
St Matthew 18:1 – 5 and verse 10.
At the same time came the disciples unto
Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and
set him in the midst of them,
And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye
be converted, and become as little children, ye shall
not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
And whoso shall receive one such little child
in my name receiveth me.
Take heed that ye despise not one of these
little ones; for I say unto you,
That in heaven their angels do always behold the face
of my Father which is in heaven.
Psalm 18:6 – I called to the Lord in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears.
I Just had a miscarriage today . Its my first pregnancy and it hasn’t even been 5 weeks . I saw it coming , but I had peace .. Amazing peace , I just know that God Has the right time for me , he plans my life perfectly and i can’t interfere in his plan with my little knowledge or with my own schedualy . I just know he loves me ..
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He shall direct[a] your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Thank you everyone for these verses and words of wisdom. It has really uplifted me. I’ve been crying and praying to God all weekend to help me and get me through losing my baby. The doctors informed me friday that my baby didn’t have a heartbeat and all weekend I prayed that it was a mistake, but tonight on tuesday I lost him/her. Reading these scriptures made me feel as if God was speaking directly to me. And I know when God is ready I’ll get the blessing to be a mom again, I already have a 5 yr. old.
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Empty
Cradle, Broken Heart
