Yesterday at a support group meeting by the fabulous Face2Face Austin, one of the local groups started by Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, we talked about how our parents handled the loss of their grandbabies. Especially sensitive is the discussion of “first” grandbabies and of other family members having babies during this difficult time.
Certainly among us, the grandparents handled things differently, running the gamut from overwhelming grief that impacted their lives significantly, to trying to pass off the loss as unimportant, sometimes with those horrid phrases we hate to hear, “It was God’s Will” or “It will happen when it’s meant to be.”
We wondered what resources were out there for grandparents. I did a fairly exhaustive search this morning, trying to come up with things.
Probably the most direct was at Mothers in Sympathy and Support, a long-standing organization dedicated to helping families recover after a loss. They have a page and a forum dedicated to grandparents:
I’ll take some time to consider what I might could add to the resources available. It does seem rather thin. If you have ideas, let me know–send your parents over here to give me ideas, and we’ll make them happen.
When Casey Shay Press ships out an angel book, we ask moms if they’d like to photograph some of the pages from their filled-out memory book so that we can meet their angels.
Today we are featuring Neveah Hope. Her mom Samantha sent us snapshots of some of Neveah’s pages from In the Company of Angels.
Thank you so much for sharing, proud Mama! What lovely work on the pages you did for sweet Neveah.
Casey Shay Press is still donating $10 of every book sold in February toward the production of the independent film Peekaboo by Big Buddha Films. The movie is about a family who loses triplets to stillbirth. Get your copy and help make this film a reality as well as preserve the memories of your baby. Sales on Amazon count too!
You did know one was being filmed, right? It’s called Peekaboo, and it’s being made in the UK by award-winning Big Buddha Films with an amazing pair of lead actors. In the story, a mother loses her triplets, and the movie deals with the aftermath in her life.
Shooting begins in mid-March, so it’s time to show them some support–time to say–it’s ABOUT TIME to get this issue more out in the open!
What can you do?
1. “Like” them on Facebook. Leave a comment. Get the word spreading.
2. Get a copy of the DVD when it comes out by donating. There’s no sure thing that it will be widely available to see, so ensure your copy right now by going to the Indie Go Go site where people like YOU help fund independent films. (They have just a few thousand dollars to go to be completely funded–they’ve already raised several thousand on their own.)
3. Already buying one of the Baby Memorial Books for your sweet angel? Casey Shay Press is donating $10 towards the filming of Peekaboo for every book sold through the end of February. That adds up fast! So GO, buy yours now! The book is $18.99 and is made specifically for babies lost to miscarriage or stillbirth, emphasizing the sweet memories of your pregnancy as well as having space for memorials and angelversaries. You don’t have to do anything special, the donation happens automatically.
4. Take action, talk about this, and know you have done something for yourself, for your baby, and for the moms who will come after you. The more we do, the easier it will be for each successive generation of grieving mothers to talk about their babies. Remember how no one used to talk about breast cancer? Look at the pink explosion now. Let’s make this happen for miscarriage and stillbirth too. We don’t have to shut our mouths. Our babies were real, our grief is real, and we shouldn’t just be quiet and get over it. The only way is to get involved.
January 18, 2011 at 11:55 pm · Filed under Miscarriage
Robyn Bear of October15th.com is promoting these new statues by artist D. Antonia Truesdale, and they are so beautiful. I have never seen anything like them:
Go on over to her site and get one of your own. Wow, wow, wow.
Last year I was delighted to discover Faces of Loss. What an amazing web site and crew of women behind it.
Today I found another amazing woman out to get miscarriage and stillbirth out in the open — Debbie Howard. She is directing an independent film called Peekaboo in the UK. They are most of the way through raising the $10K needed to start production, have cast the lead roles, and well, listen to her tell it:
You still have time to contribute to the cause. Filming should begin at the end of February. If you’re looking for something to support in the name of your baby, this might be it. Go do it: http://www.indiegogo.com/Peeka-boo
At this site you will find information and a place to come in your dark and frightened hours. The special features of the site are listed in the next column, as well as topics ranging from causes of miscarriage, to prevention, to when to try again for a new pregnancy.
A Reminder:
The only person who can really tell you what is happening to you is your own doctor, who peers into you with a light and a speculum, who samples your blood or urine, or who presses a sonogram paddle into your belly. If you are in trouble, bleeding, scared, or more depressed than you think you can handle on your own, you must find help. Read and research all you can, but remember that the one-on-one assistance of a real doctor is the only thing that will give you answers that count. If you don't like or trust your doctor, then find one you can.
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Cradle, Broken Heart
