Recovery from a Miscarriage

This is an overview. For more specific aspects of recovery, follow these links:

[ First Few Days ]

[ Waiting for a Period ]

[ The First Period ]

[ New Cycles ]

 

Physically, you will recover completely from a D&C or D&E in about two weeks. The bleeding should subside, your cycle will start up again, and the hormone-induced mood swings will even out. It will still take four to seven weeks to start a totally new cycle, and you should wait at least that long before trying again. 

A birth takes considerably longer to recover from. You may have shaved areas that will grow out and itch or burn. You may have stitches that will be sore for a few weeks. This recovery is like any other post-partum. Check with your doctor in how long you must wait to try again. A general rule of thumb is that you must wait a cycle for every two months you were pregnant.

A natural miscarriage can take considerably longer. You may have to wait days or even a couple of weeks before the bleeding and cramping begin. (Don’t go more than two weeks without talking to your doctor about possibly getting a D&C. Studies show the longer you carry a lost pregnancy, the more likely you are to get seriously depressed, and the more likely you may have physical complications.) The actual miscarriage may only take a few days, or may drag out over several weeks. 

For more information on the actual passage of tissue or how a D&C or D&E is handled, see miscarriage descriptions. Usually you will have to wait four to seven weeks for a new cycle to begin regardless of how the miscarriage happens, although a birth near term can delay your first period for several months. You should not try to conceive again during this time. For reasons why, see trying again.

The emotional recovery is another story altogether. One thing I will point out immediately is that your level of sadness is not at all tied to how far along you were. Everyone will be surprised by their emotions. Some will be near absolute despair and wish to join their baby. Some will be unpleasantly numb and feel nothing at all. Most will swing somewhere in the middle, seemingly okay one minute, then sobbing as if it were only yesterday. All the stages of grief will almost always be visited. Shock, numbness, denial, anger, guilt, depression, and finally resolution are all emotions you will experience. They do not come in order; some stages may go on for many weeks and others only a few hours. No two people grieve the same, as you will quickly see when your partner does not react the same way as you do. Don’t expect that you will “get over it” in a few weeks or even months. Don’t assume that getting pregnant again will turn everything around. Don’t give yourself a timetable. Just let the emotions come and go and try to keep your life going. 

So, you ask, when WILL I feel better? In some ways, you never will. The complete innocence and pure joy of pregnancy will not come back. But you will feel better than you do right now. Your life will go on, you will try again, and you will survive. There is much more to happen in your life. You have to keep going to see what it is. Only when you look back on where you were will you see that you do indeed feel a little bit better. For more information on emotional recovery, see “How to Cope.” Once again, here are the additional topics under recovery:

[ First Few Days ]

[ Waiting for a Period ]

[ The First Period ]

[ New Cycles ]

56 thoughts on “Recovery from a Miscarriage

  1. I just want to say I’m so sorry for all your loss, I know what you’re going through. I miscarried on July 27th of this year, at 19 weeks pregnant. I never thought it would be this difficult. You hear stories and imagine it hurts, but the grief in unbelievable.

    I started cramping on Tuesday of that week, they got progressively worse and I saw my gynecologist on Thursday morning. He told me it was fine, baby was healthy, strong heartbeat and my cervix was closed. I told him I felt as if I was in labor (I have two other children) and he said it was just my uterus expanding, and that I should take a warm bath if it got any worse. By the Friday afternoon I couldn’t bare the pain anymore so I took a warm bath and passed my mucous plug in the tub. My husband and I rushed to the hospital and my water broke while I was waiting to be assessed. I was in shock at what was happening but I knew there was no chance my baby was going to make it at such an early age. I cry everyday, my only solace is knowing our baby is with God, and will never suffer in this sometimes cruel world. I wish all of you the strength to get through this.

  2. i recently experienced my second miscarriage, my first happened four years ago. in both cases i was pregnant with my child during the same time period as my sister. in both cases hers were healthy while mine did not make it here. everyday is so difficult to ge through. one moment i am content, the next moment i am crying my heart out ang questiong God. the thing that bothers me the most is that a few weeks before my second micarriage i dreamnt about losing my baby. I dont know if i am capable of carrying a baby to term. my partner is already considering trying again. i expressed that i am not ready. he desires to help me heal and I appreciate that. Part of me is resentful towards him and i am not sure why. taking life one moment at a time..

  3. Thank you so much for this site it has helped me enormously after weeks spend trolling websites looking at pregnacy bleeding,slow rising hormone levels and the unfortunatly miscarraige the information has been so direct and honest as all the hospital and official advice was just vague and the same paragraph repeated, I’m just sorry I didn’t find this sooner (I was looking up trying again) as during the actual waiting for you body to expel the body I had no real info everything you say is what I feel and have gone through and all the nitty gritty details of what’s happening has really helped thank you

  4. I undergo d and c last friday And travel by tuesday wednesday and thursday.is it safe for me..

  5. Thankyou! This has been the most support I’v had through this whole thing. I just wish I had someone as understanding and knowledgable to talk to in person. How long until you start to feel back to yourself again?

  6. I only had 2 positives at the beginning but then had negatives throughout my pregnancy (runs in my family). Was just getting over the awful morning sickness and at 10.5 weeks pregnant I lost my baby. Due to me not being able to show the doctors a positive test (blood or pre) they wouldnt give me a scan. I told them every week all the symptoms I was getting and they looked at me like I was mad. I went back after the mc and said I still felt rough and I was worried that I hadn’t released everything. They asked me to explain what happened which I did and they confirmed it was a mc. Still no scan despite asking every doctor in my practice. I finay passed it all at what I would have been 14 weeks. Now 3 months later I have gained 21lbs and still having horrendous heartburn (never had it before pregnancy). Had absolutely no help from NHS, boyfriend has struggled with it all and has been quite selfish with it all as every time I mention it he just says ‘ it will happen again one day’… Worst thing to say!

    Everytime I see a baby or mummy to be I feel like dying! I was getting better but realised I’d be 6 months this week and I’ve gone down hill again

    I have the baby’ s due date off work and I’m going to do something for me that day. Then I’m going to buy a rose or a nice flower that may help me symbolise the event.

    My mum said it was for the best as she hates my boyfriend, my whole family takes on the same view. My boyfriends family are very supportive though and they have been really helpful

    Talking about it has definitely helped me though. Don’t try to forget it as it will never happen

    Sorry for all your losses and I hope you are all in better places now

    Big hugs to you all xxx

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