Recovery from a Miscarriage

This is an overview. For more specific aspects of recovery, follow these links:

[ First Few Days ]

[ Waiting for a Period ]

[ The First Period ]

[ New Cycles ]

 

Physically, you will recover completely from a D&C or D&E in about two weeks. The bleeding should subside, your cycle will start up again, and the hormone-induced mood swings will even out. It will still take four to seven weeks to start a totally new cycle, and you should wait at least that long before trying again. 

A birth takes considerably longer to recover from. You may have shaved areas that will grow out and itch or burn. You may have stitches that will be sore for a few weeks. This recovery is like any other post-partum. Check with your doctor in how long you must wait to try again. A general rule of thumb is that you must wait a cycle for every two months you were pregnant.

A natural miscarriage can take considerably longer. You may have to wait days or even a couple of weeks before the bleeding and cramping begin. (Don’t go more than two weeks without talking to your doctor about possibly getting a D&C. Studies show the longer you carry a lost pregnancy, the more likely you are to get seriously depressed, and the more likely you may have physical complications.) The actual miscarriage may only take a few days, or may drag out over several weeks. 

For more information on the actual passage of tissue or how a D&C or D&E is handled, see miscarriage descriptions. Usually you will have to wait four to seven weeks for a new cycle to begin regardless of how the miscarriage happens, although a birth near term can delay your first period for several months. You should not try to conceive again during this time. For reasons why, see trying again.

The emotional recovery is another story altogether. One thing I will point out immediately is that your level of sadness is not at all tied to how far along you were. Everyone will be surprised by their emotions. Some will be near absolute despair and wish to join their baby. Some will be unpleasantly numb and feel nothing at all. Most will swing somewhere in the middle, seemingly okay one minute, then sobbing as if it were only yesterday. All the stages of grief will almost always be visited. Shock, numbness, denial, anger, guilt, depression, and finally resolution are all emotions you will experience. They do not come in order; some stages may go on for many weeks and others only a few hours. No two people grieve the same, as you will quickly see when your partner does not react the same way as you do. Don’t expect that you will “get over it” in a few weeks or even months. Don’t assume that getting pregnant again will turn everything around. Don’t give yourself a timetable. Just let the emotions come and go and try to keep your life going. 

So, you ask, when WILL I feel better? In some ways, you never will. The complete innocence and pure joy of pregnancy will not come back. But you will feel better than you do right now. Your life will go on, you will try again, and you will survive. There is much more to happen in your life. You have to keep going to see what it is. Only when you look back on where you were will you see that you do indeed feel a little bit better. For more information on emotional recovery, see “How to Cope.” Once again, here are the additional topics under recovery:

[ First Few Days ]

[ Waiting for a Period ]

[ The First Period ]

[ New Cycles ]

53 Comments »

  Sarah wrote @ October 17, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Thank you so much for this incredible website. I just miscarried at a little over 7 weeks and have found your website to have such comprehensive and really helpful info. Everything from what to expect through the miscarriage process to trying again and just recovering from everything has helped me to start healing. I will recommend this site to others I may hear of in the future who are dealing with this loss. Thanks you again!

  Nita wrote @ October 19, 2008 at 5:22 pm

thanks a lot for this web site. it is so ture that no matter how far you went with the pregnancy, the emotions are the same. I am going through a possible miscarriage and this is my very first pregnancy. I say possible because my blood hCG level are not normal and I have pikinsh-red-brown soptting. I had my ultrasound just a couple days ago and i will be having one tomorrow. I am 7 weeks but just a couple days they said there was just a sac and nothing else. some times i dont know what happens to me, i want to be positive and lead a normal life but at the same time i feel guilty for thinking of doing so. i am so scared of trying again! truely the inocence and joy of pregnancy are gone.
i have so many questions for my doctor, i dont know where i will start tomorrow.
I never ever thought this could happen to me!

  Jane wrote @ October 8, 2009 at 11:16 pm

I am having a miscarriage right now and looking for help on how to manage all this. This site is really helpful– thank you.

  Heidi wrote @ October 21, 2009 at 6:27 pm

I have just had a miscarriage during the last 48 hours. It is my second pregnancy, and after having a healthy baby previously, I wasn’t worrying about anything like this happening to me. It has been like a nightmare, but hearing other women’s stories have made me feel stronger and I am grateful to all of you who have shared. The words about the innocence and joy of pregnancy hit home with me, but I hope for all of our sakes we are able to feel something close to that again, as it is one of the most precious and beautiful feelings there is.

  melissa wrote @ October 23, 2009 at 8:43 am

Hi
I as well just went through a iscarriage and actually are still going through it. This is my second pregnancy and I thought that miscarriage was for other people but not for me. I was so devestated and I still am. After reading the section about the complete joy of pregnancy being gone – it confirmed what I. Was afraid of. I’m scared that if I get pregnant again ill just be miserabally scared the whole time.

  jennifer wrote @ December 20, 2009 at 7:52 am

Thank you so much for this website. I found out two days ago that we lost our baby at only 9 weeks. We are both absolutely devastated, since we tried to get pregnant for quite some time. I keep having terrible nightmares, where I wake up in tears. Just not sure how to handle everything, it’s all still so fresh. I have a feeling this website will help. It’s comforting to know there’s help like this out there.

  Anonymous wrote @ December 21, 2009 at 6:49 pm

I had a miscarriage about a year ago. We had been trying for a very long time and when I found out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I was 7 weeks when I miscarried. I was totally devestated. The thought that I would miscarry had never even crossed my mind. I was extremely sad and angry for quite sometime. Truthfully it probably took me about 8 months to be able to accept it. It took us another year to get pregnant again. I am now pregnant and am at 12 weeks, but I worried and stressed anytime I felt a cramp or anything. Reading this article only reaffirms that until you go through it, you really can not relate to someone who has. There are physical and emotional aspects that I really do not think people understand until they go through it. It has made me alot more sympathetic towards anyone who has dealt with this. I feel for anyone who has been through this and pray you go on to have healthy babies.

  Annette wrote @ January 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm

I just found out today that my baby died 3 weeks ago at 7 weeks gestation. My heart is broken because this is the third time and I really thought I was going to be a mother this time around. I have to schedule another D&C and my doctor is going to have the tissue analyzed this time so she can see exactly what the problem is. I am 39 years old and fear that my eggs are just too old, which really hurts because I just started to ovulate and release eggs 3 years ago. I just don’t understand why this had to happen to me when I know I would have been a good mother. I miss my little nugget.

  nicole wrote @ January 8, 2010 at 3:48 pm

this has been a horrible time in my life i just lost my baby at 21 weeks and i feel so emtpy. emotionally numb. i had to have a d&C. physically i am fine, but emotionally i dont think i ever will be. my husband is ready to move on and try again but i am too scared. does the feelings ever get better?

  zoe wrote @ January 11, 2010 at 10:43 am

hi all, today is Monday 11th, I started bleeding last Tuesday everyone said it was normall, I went for my 12 week scan on Monday 4th they said i misscarigde after that monday i was bleeding really heavy. Last night I was in so much pain I thought I was in labour or going to die, lots of big clots gushing out & loads of blood. I have another scan on Wednesday to see if come out naturally if not then a d & c. But i have been bleeding for 3 weeks tomoro. Im worried just seeing if any one can give me any advice? I am so sorry for everyone’s loss on her i fell for you. hope to hear from you soon.

  Lynn wrote @ February 3, 2010 at 10:57 pm

Hi everyone-
I came across this website researching and telling myself that what was happening was not what I thought (again). Spoke to my doctor and had to hear that yes it most likely is.
I’m not sure how I feel as this comes after 2 miscarriages, and 2 births. I’m going through the anger stage. anger at myself for not following mothers intuition and just testing early. yes i know there is nothing that could have been done but I really just wanted my doctor to say no you didn’t have a miscarriage, you weren’t pregnant. But she couldn’t say that, instead she said, “lets test your HCG and make sure the levels are back where they need to be”. I’m heartbroken. but while I write this I can tell everyone; it truly does become bareable. you’ll beable to share your experience with someone else when they need it. but its hard to take your kids to playgroup and all of the other moms are pregnant and joking about having a nursing station set up…but they don’t even know that you were pregnant.

  Rachel wrote @ March 26, 2010 at 11:34 am

I miscarried in Sept 2009 and my doctor told me to just wait for the bleeding to stop and that as long as the bleeding didn’t doak through a pad every hour or two to just keep on waiting it out. After 2.5 months of bleeding the bleeding finally stopped, but I kept feeling weak and tired. By January my face was pale. bloated and I could hardly complete a workout. One Sunday night after a hormonally wacked out argument with my husband I spent 2 hours sobbing uncontrollably in bed with my husband. I made an appointment with my doctor and ended up getting antibiotics for an insanely sore throat. Him prescribing antibiotics surprised me b/c he rarely does. Felt immediately better after taking the antibiotics. I think I probably had an infection in my uterus. Still struggling with my hormone levels, had clots in my period for several months but am hoping that things are leveling off. Thanks for the information – wish I had a D&C back in the fall!

  Rachel wrote @ March 26, 2010 at 11:36 am

By the way, I now have a new doctor who is wonderful and actually listens to me.

  Jody wrote @ May 28, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Wow. I’m really impressed at all the information you’ve gathered here. This is such a great resource! Thanks for putting this up. I’ll be linking to it!

Jody

  Stacey wrote @ May 28, 2010 at 5:45 pm

I believe I am having a miscarriage and I am going through all the emotions listed. I never thought this could happen to me after having a health baby girl. It wasn’t confirmed that I was pregnant but all thoes little things that happen; cravings for pickles, heightened sense of smell, mothers intuition, etc. were all present. I hadn’t been taking the best care of myself. I was drinking coffee, and two nights ago I drank an espresso beverage out of poor judgment and later that night I got a horrible feeling that something was wrong . The next morning I woke up bleeding which is when i realized I was having a miscarriage . This is the worst thing that has happened in my life so far, and I just want to go back in time knowing that I could have prevented this. I am left now, and for the rest of my life knowing that out of selfishness and irresponsibility I am without a baby boy, girl, or twins that I have wanted and prayed for since I was a little girl. Part of me is still in denial that this happening, and I am partly writting this out of selfishness hoping that with all the reality I let out I will forget and I can be happy again… but realizing that this is not the case just bring upon more feelings of depression. I am asking for all of your prays please, as I am in desperate need. Thank you all for sharing. It helps me knowing that I am not completely alone.

  Teak wrote @ June 20, 2010 at 11:14 pm

I miscarried a few weeks ago, I was 10 weeks but the baby no longer had a heart beat. It was a shock. This was my first pregnancy and we were both so thrilled. I have had moments of sadness but above all I’ve been angry – at everything and everyone. I do my best to hide it but it’s hard. People are being supportive but I never want to hear the words ‘at least you can get pregnant’ ever again! I’ve just got my period now and we probably will start trying again but I’m not expecting it to happen instantly. I really had no concept of how difficult miscarriage would be. I send all my best wishes to each of you going through this and thank those responsible for this helpful and supportive site.

  Leese wrote @ June 23, 2010 at 9:10 am

just wanted to thank you for this website – i’m slowly recovering from a recent painful miscarriage and tomorrow i have to do a pregnancy test to check my hcg levels have fallen. A big part of me has hoped that despite the pain and bleeding i am somehow still pregnant. Thanks to your site i now understand more about hcg levels and that a positive test won’t necessairly show a pregnancy. It helps to know I could have to wait up to 7 weeks for my next period and that i should really think seriously before trying again in the interim. Thank you for such a helpful supportive site.

  Jess wrote @ July 6, 2010 at 9:45 pm

I miscarried our first pregnancy on April 3rd 2010. My periods are still not back to normal. Though I know it can take time, I am impatient; I want my body back. And of course, we want to try again. The only people besides medical personnel who knew I was pregnant are me and my husband. I was waiting for the first appointment, which was at 10 weeks, to tell anyone. It is a mixed blessing that we had kept it to ourselves, as I do not have people to explain to, but I also do not have any other people to share my feelings with. This baby was planned, wanted, and loved, so while I am scared, we are not giving up. Because we chose to keep this private the online community is my only outlet. I have read a ton of information on the internet and this site is one of the best on this topic. I am wholeheartedly sorry for the losses of everyone who has posted. If you plan to try again I wish you all the best.

  Audrey wrote @ July 8, 2010 at 6:34 pm

I am currently miscarrying 6 weeks into my pregnancy and want to thank you for this site. The pain has been severe and the sadness has been horrible. With this early of a pregnancy, the experience has been worse than I imagined it could be. I feel like no one understands, but now I know they do. Thank you for the helpful information and support.

  rachel wrote @ July 9, 2010 at 1:05 am

i gave birth to my little 17 week son i named charlie yesterday. his heart had stopped and i am beside myself with grief. he was perfect, i held him in my hands and looked at him and kissed his little face. people dont even realize that at 17 weeks they have a face and hands and feet and are just like a big baby but small. i was scared to hold him, but i was glad i did. i am now getting his ashes next week and am waiting for him to get tested right now. it breaks my heart to thin about him there. when all i want is for him to be with me. in my arms. i dont understand why this has happened to me. i am angry i am sad. i want to be with him. i want my baby back. i dont know if i will ever recover from this. i sometimes blame myself. i hate this. i dont know what to do. i feel like i could cry all day. i dont want to sleep i am afraid of my dreams. all i see is his little face. alll i feel is him . givign birth to a still born is not something i thoiught i would ever have to go thru. i need support but i dont want it also. i just want to be alone. am i crazy

  Michelle wrote @ July 9, 2010 at 4:36 am

I am still miscarrying while I write this. I got cramps and increased bleeding 4 days ago and during the course of this week found out I was having a miscarriage. Im not sure how to feel, I guess I was really upset when I wasn’t sure what was happening but I had a feeling I was miscarrying but when the doctor confirmed it the next day, I was nearly relieved. Is that wrong? I am sad, and get teary and my heart aches at times, but then I am usually optimistic and cup half full kinda girl, so I tell myself all the stats and and how I couldn’t have helped it etc etc, but I always have that nagging feeling maybe it was this or that which I did wrong. We have told a few close friends about the pregnancy but only after we were noticing problems so they didn’t think we were acting strange. I have felt a lot of love from my family and friends who know that I have been through this, my mum, my aunties have all told me about their miscarriages, and one even told me of an abortion. (how strange, the skeleton comes out of the closet.) It has been good reading this website, and I feel like I need to cry more but I just can’t cry that much anymore, like Im tired of being so upset. I do have that heart wrenching, emotional feeling of getting teary and wanting to cry, but I can’t bawl, which I feel like I want to or should. It was my first pregnancy, and I was 6-7 weeks, and have been spotting throughout… but it did change for the worst when the spotting turned from brown to red.. Its scary.. and im quite apprehensive about getting pregnant again, even tho i want to soon, Im so worried that I will stress out over the new pregnancy. Sigh.. what can a girl do but to try again. And yes, i dont want to be jealous but you wonder why it happens to you, and not the next girl, friend, or the drug addict. Not that I would wish it on anyone at all. It makes me question myself and my ability to carry a child. Makes me question a lot of things that I can;t answer. I wish you guys all have future healthy pregnancies if you want to try again.

  Tina wrote @ July 14, 2010 at 3:55 pm

My husband and I lost our angel at 6 weeks. This would have been our first. I never had any cramping, spotting or any reasons to suspect any problems, but deep down I “knew” something wasn’t right. I insisted on checking my levels and sure enough, they were dropping. I had a D & C on June 30th and my doctor encourages us to start trying again right away and we are. On Monday my bloodwork came back that my level is back to 2.

Despite all of the “medical” lingo and all of the “think of the bright side, you got pregnant the first month you tried”, comments, its heart wrenching. That was a baby, my baby, my first baby and nothing will ever fill that whole in my heart.

I pray to have a healthy pregnancy soon, and will love the new baby as much as my last.

Thank you for this site, and for all of you who share your stories. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone…

God Bless all of you. xoxo

  Ashley wrote @ July 21, 2010 at 9:18 pm

I am young and so is my husband. We decided late last year to start trying to have a baby. We became pregnant in March and lost the baby April 3rd. I waited a few cycles until trying again and became pregnant again after the first month of trying! Yay! We told a few more family members and friends than last time because we really thought that the first loss was a “fluke” and that we would be okay this time. Not so much. I lost the second baby on July 17. Now I’m really scared and worried. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to have a baby and if I should even bother trying again. The grief, dispair, anger, confusion, etc. are too much to handle. I hope that there are some success stories out there for people who have had multiple losses before. I would like to know that there is some hope out there.

  diana wrote @ July 26, 2010 at 10:13 am

Thank you for an amazing and very useful website. Thank you for providing a little bit of confort to women who really need it, as most people will either not know about it or ignore it and think that’s the right thing to do.

It’s true that dealing with others is hard, and after such a loss you tend to feel guilty and really need someone to tell you it was not your fault.

As for the others …after my first pregnancy loss I did not want tot ell my colleagues why I need to go to the hospital, but one close collegue insisted, so I told her. Then she smiled and said “Oh, that’s all!? you scared me! I thought it’s something serious!”. I just said to her “well, I just lost my baby; that is more than serious for me” …and that’s when our relationship stopped being close, or good.

Oh…and a special dancing event our friends wanted to cheer us up and made a dedicaion: From this moment (lyrics: from this moment life has begun)…useless to say I cried the whole song…

At least now, after the second loss the people around me had more considerated reactions.

But I wish so much I could escape all the stupid questions of the people who know us more or less (but are not very close) about our plans to have (other) children.

  Lucy wrote @ August 3, 2010 at 10:40 am

I miscarried in January at 10 weeks. This site was a great support to me. I just wanted to say to all the ladies who are feeling so guilty and blaming themselves that it is very very unlikely that you had a miscarriage because of anything you did. I had the same feelings but after a while I came to feel that my baby just wasn’t ready to come to me yet, I searched for an answer and went over everything I did but I now know that it just wasn’t meant to be.
I am now pregnant again (12 weeks) and I have been through so many emotions in the last few weeks, my baby would have been born in the next couple of weeks so it is very difficult to feel happy when there is such a feeling of loss. If all goes well this will be my second baby. I have a beautiful, healthy two year old which is why it was such a shock to miscarry my last pregnancy.
All I can say to anyone who is suffering at the moment is please please don’t blame yourselves it makes me so sad to read some of the comments knowing the pain you must feel. Sending big hugs to anyone who needs them xx

  Natalie wrote @ August 5, 2010 at 12:27 am

I am in the middle of a miscarriage. I just started bleeding two days ago. We have known for a month or so this was going to happen…we had a blighted ovum and no baby ever developed. We are very very sad about this. We were hoping and praying that the doctors were wrong. This was the first time me and my husband tried to get pregnant and we got pregnant instantly so we were thankful for that. Unfortunately this is a miscarriage. Before we got pregnant we prayed for a healthy normal baby…..and this one was not healthy or normal so it miscarried. It is important for me and everyone to remember that first it has be to in God’s will and also in God’s time. This is really helping me through this and i can’t wait to try again. God Bless everyone!!!

  Alyssa wrote @ August 7, 2010 at 1:19 am

To those who can not talk about it READ my story and do what I couldnt:
Im 20 years old, a born mother, and soon to be teacher. On june 28 i learned that I was pregnant at 4 1/2 weeks and single. Then for almost 3 weeks I held in the fact that I was from everyone. I went to school and work and acted like my normal bubbly happy self. During that time I came up with a plan for me and my baby’s future, but part of me was still in a partical denial. Then on july 18 I desided that on monday I would tell everyone! I finally accepted that i was going to have a baby and I was getting exicted and happy. But the next day at 430am i woke up and was bleeding red i just knew what was happening i could just feel it, stupid me acted like nothin was wrong and still didnt tell anyone. I missed class but email my hw bc I knew I could not handle it. It was not untill Monday night that my numbness slightly wore off and i told 1 friend. It was the 1st time I cried. Tues I went to school and work acting happy. wed I didnt couldnt. . So I told my best friend. She was there for me and bc of that I was able to let out my emotions and cried in a way I have never before. So after 2 weeks I told 3 people, didnt go to the doctor’s. didnt ask for help on how I should be feeling, and turned in my assiments by e-mail.
Bc of those choices I made 1 teacher dropped bc of attendance, Im losing my insurance, the father is not there for me, my family does not know still, and mainly I will never get my baby back.
But I know I can turn things around so don’t worry.
But for those people who feel shamed. blame themselves, or are embraressed learn from me. If something can come out of this please let it be that.
But thank you to this website. I anwser those ques that I was afriad to ask.
Best of luck to everyone!!! and remember to just keep smiling!

  tracy wrote @ August 8, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Thank you so much for this site! :)

Found out I had a blighted ovum after being pregnant for 10 weeks. Got prescribed a pill that is the 2nd half of the abortion pill. Why women would put themselves through and abortion, idk.

I’ve gone through a range of emotions and am still getting over this loss. The information on your website has helped so much. Thank you! :)

  Eliza wrote @ August 9, 2010 at 6:05 pm

It’s been 5 weeks and 5 days since the ultrasound measured our baby too small and the roller coaster of emotions began. My date could have been a bit off, but I did the math over and over, I knew it would be a miracle. I took blood tests, prayed and waited for 6 torturous days to find out the news I’d been dreading all my life. My family has a history of miscarriages on both sides, including my own mother. I have 2 healthy kids, but I felt a bit uneasy this pregnancy. It was too easy. My tummy grew quick and my boobs got huge. I felt exhausted but great, no nausea. People told me that “every pregnancy is different.” I should have listened to my gut. I had a D&C 4 weeks after the blood tests and a final ultrasound declared the worst. My period is hopefully coming soon. I thought I wouldn’t be scared to try again, but I am. I don’t want to go through this again. 9 of my friends are pregnant, 6 have already had one or more miscarriages (as well as kids already). I know there is hope and my future child will be worth the pain of this loss and whatever else I may go through. I’m so much better but I’m so tired of this pain. I know only heaven will make it truly go away…

  Eliza wrote @ August 9, 2010 at 6:06 pm

BTW Thank you for this website. It’s been a resource and a friend through this loss.

  Sarah wrote @ August 18, 2010 at 8:59 am

Thank you so much for the information on your website. You have been such an enormous help to making me feel better. I have lost 2 pregnancies this year – one at 20 weeks and then another at 8 weeks a few months ago. Since then I have struggled with not being able to get pregnant again and it’s such a relief to read the information on your site and know the stress of “trying too hard” is not affecting my fertility – despite what everyone keeps telling me – and that I shouldn’t worry about my cycles being strangely long and even that it’s perfectly normal to feel like a failure – even though I know it isn’t anything I’ve done or not done. It’s such a relief to know that everything I’ve experienced since my miscarriage is something other people go through too

  Sarah wrote @ August 19, 2010 at 2:28 pm

I just stumbled across this website. It has been exactly six weeks today since my miscarriage. I miscarried at about 8 weeks. It was my first pregnancy. My husband and I just got married in April, and we weren’t trying to get pregnant, but in May I did. I was very shocked at first (I took 4 pregnancy tests) and worried how we would bring a baby into this world with little money and no insurance. I had no cramping or spotting or anything that would indicate that I was going to miscarry, but as soon as I saw the blood in my underwear I knew what was happening. I called my doctor the next morning and had to go for bloodwork. I got repeat bloodwork 3 days later to confirm I was pregnant and did indeed miscarry. I bled for 12 days. It took 4 weeks for my hcg levels to go back to zero, and exactly 2 weeks after that I started my period. I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions in the last 6 weeks. We didn’t tell anyone we were pregnant, so we decided not to tell anyone about the miscarriage. This website has been really helpful. Thank you.

  Lulu wrote @ September 1, 2010 at 9:16 pm

I just had a miscarriage two weeks ago. I have waited a very long time to have the right person in my life to have a baby with. I was so happy when we found out, also so scared and nervous, but in a good way. The minute I found out I was pregnant I shed my skin. I wasn’t the same person. I felt so blessed, so lucky to have turned that page and start a new chapter in my life. Now it is so difficult to go back to the person I was before I got pregnant. Definitely feel alone, depressed, and sad. Finding it hard to enjoy life, even though I truly loved my life prior to getting pregnant. This is difficult. I know it will pass though. I thank god for having miscarried early at about 6.5 weeks……seems like nothing but it’s not. It is a big deal. A very big deal. My hubby is trying to understand me but I think he has no clue. I truly think he feels more bad for me than the actual loss of the pregnancy. I’m ok with that, he is a good person but just truly doesn’t understand. I hope this passes soon….. Thanks for all your posts. They truly helped me feel better, just knowing I am not alone. Best to you all and much luck for the future!

  alisha wrote @ September 2, 2010 at 6:20 am

I have just had my 2nd miscarriage. First was in May and I had a D & C at 12 weeks. The 2nd I passed last night at 9 weeks. I never thought it could happen again. I feel so lost and devastated. All I want to be is a mommy and I feel like I may never be. I have cut my sister out of my life b/c after the 1st loss she got a boyfriend knew him 3 days and informed to evryone she was trying to get pregnant. This was 3 weeks after my loss and of course she got pregnant and of course they guy and her never worked out. I got pregnant again in between all of this and lost another and she is still pregnant. It’s sooo unfair I have a loving husband and we are ready to be parents but it seems soooo far out of reach. I’m trying to keep faith with God but I can feel it slipping away. Thanks for such an amazing website.

  Emily wrote @ September 11, 2010 at 3:01 pm

This website has been amazingly helpful. My miscarriage began on Tuesday night, and I was 12 weeks. I could tell by Wednesday morning based on the bleeding that my body was processing it naturally so opted not to fill the prescription for Cytotec the doctors gave me. When this morning the cramping and bleeding had stopped, I was relieved and feeling like the physical process was nearing its end. But then mid-day today, the bleeding and cramping started back up and I’m back consulting this website for the ump-teenth time and feeling so thankful for it, understanding that this start and stop bleeding is normal. At this point, I’m just worried that I should have taken that darn cytotec….worried that I’ll still have to have the d&c anyway…and just tired and sad and frustrated. Thank you to Deanna and everyone who has shared their feelings and experiences here.

  Kristina wrote @ September 27, 2010 at 12:28 pm

I miscarried one week ago today at 13 and a half weeks. This was my first pregnancy. We had been married for 3 years and had been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half. We really wanted the baby and were very excited. We had just recently finished telling our entire family, extended family, and finally all our friends and acquaintances that we were expecting a baby. All along, I tried to be emotionally prepared for a miscarriage, because I knew the statistics. But I really didn’t think it would happen to me. Yet somehow, when it happened, in a way I didn’t feel surprised and amazingly didn’t take it nearly as hard as I imagined I would. It was so frightening at first, that once we were in the care of the hospital, I think my husband and I were relieved and actually in good spirits. We got an outpouring of support from everyone. But I’ve found that as the days pass, I’m finding it much more difficult to stop thinking about the miscarriage. I have trouble sleeping because as soon as I close my eyes at night, terrible visual memories jump into my mind…the heavy bleeding and clots, doubling over in pain, and the two most disturbing…looking at my tiny baby that looked so strange and almost scary…and remembering the D & E to remove my placenta, which I felt in full as if I had no pain relief at all, and seemed like something out of a nightmare. Like many here, I feel full of doubt about my ability to carry a healthy baby all the way to term. The loss of innocence and unmarred joy of pregnancy is a big blow. I know that if there’s a next time, and I hope there will be, I’ll probably feel I should wait until the baby’s born to tell people I’m pregnant, although I won’t want to. I worry especially because mine happened relatively late, at the very end of the 1st trimester…there won’t be a point during my next pregnancy where I’ll breathe a sigh of relief and feel “safe.”

  Liv wrote @ October 4, 2010 at 2:30 am

I took my first pregnancy test on 12sept, went to my doctor got my blood work done and he confirmed the pregnancy.
I am now 9-10week pregnant and hav started having light bleeding and mild cramps, I went to the hospital today n they took blood again (my white blood count is a little high?) n I hav to get my first ultrasound tomorrow, I’m jus hoping everything is ok because I hav wanted a baby for so long and hav hav the most amazing boyfriend who can’t wait to be a daddy!

  mariec wrote @ October 6, 2010 at 4:47 pm

I just found yesterday at my 18 week ultrasound that my baby was dead. I have two children and four previous miscarriages but they had all been in the first trimester. This time I had no symptoms that anything was wrong and I still feel pregnant. I feel the loss of my baby boy much more deeply than the previous losses because I felt safe in my second trimester after multiple healthy ultrasounds and a normal genetic test. To all of you who have had a miscarriage – don’t give up. I am suffering but I have also been blessed with two beautiful children.

  Mel wrote @ November 23, 2010 at 4:47 am

We fell pregnant as a result of IVF (second cycle) so one can imagine the excitement! My Hcg levels were not great and eventually I miscarried in the 7th week. The most surprising aspect of the whole thing was that no one actually talks about the physical aspects of a miscarriage. It felt so odd, uncontrolable, almost primitive. I was at home and I found myself walking through the house in a dazed state for a few hours. It’s all over now and I’m quite fine with it. It does have a positive side for us – at least we fell pregnant and we’re looking forward to trying again in the new year. There is one symptom however which has been bothering me and I can’t find any information on it. It’s the state of my skin… I know that that talk about pimples pales in significance when discussing miscarriage but, It’s a constant reminder of what my body has gone through. Has anyone had similar symptoms? my forehead, chin and chest are covered in little bumps and I can’t seem to clear them. Would love to hear from others…

  Caroline wrote @ January 19, 2011 at 12:22 am

January 18, 2011
I just experienced my second miscarriage last night. I was 12 weeks along. During my 11th week I noticed some dark red bloody discharge which continued for about 5 days before I had a complete miscarriage today. I had some very mild menstrual-like cramping during the days leading up to the miscarriage but nothing that worried me too much; I just assumed it was the changes that my uterus was going through. Exhausted, but feeling ok in general, I fell into a deep sleep that night, but only after a few hours of sleep I was awakened by the sharp uncomfortable pains of my uterus contracting. I felt a little leaking and got up and rushed to the bathroom. Then it began to happen- the start of my miscarriage. Still cramping, I began bleeding heavily with large clots coming out. With each large clot that I passed I was sure it was the fetus, they felt so large. I looked in the bowl to see if I could identify “parts” but thankfully all I could see was a bunch of dark blood clots in a sea of bright red water. When that wave of bleeding was over I returned to bed and continued sleeping, as I was still extremely exhausted. But the bleeding and cramping would not let me rest so I was up and down for the next 2 hours. I was still unable to get any rest and before I knew it, it was time to wake my boys up for school. So I made sure they were up then returned to bed and tried to get more rest but could not. So I went down to the kitchen to make breakfast and pack their school lunches… a mom’s work is never done! Then I felt another wave of bleeding coming on and I rushed to the bathroom. This time I broke into a cold sweat, feeling extremely dizzy and came close to fainting as I was sitting on the toilet, but I kept my head down as far as I could and managed to crawl to the couch where I did in fact faint. I saw stars and blacked out for about 5 minutes. Once I regained consciousness I heard both my boys getting their supplies ready for school and I called out to them to not forget their lunches and have a great day and asked for a kiss before they left for school. I remained on the couch for several hours, passed out, and finally got several hours of uninterrupted sleep. When I woke up I tried to stand up but was still extremely dizzy and ended up plopping right back down on the couch. My head was also throbbing with a migraine. That was definitely the worst I’ve ever felt physically. I had not been seen by my OB/Gyn during this pregnancy so I don’t know when fetal death actually occurred but with my first miscarriage they determined via ultrasound that the baby had stopped growing around 7 weeks and I miscarried that pregnancy at around 9 weeks. This miscarriage was much worse physically for me but the first one was much worse emotionally. I am trying to get my strength back and have been eating and drinking normally all day. My appetite hasn’t diminished despite the dizziness which has really incapacitated me this time. With my first miscarriage I didn’t have any dizziness, just the bleeding. I have not told anyone about this pregnancy, not even my husband, but I will eventually. I just have a different coping mechanism (keeping to myself) which he doesn’t agree with and I wasn’t up to pleading with him not to tell anyone about my problems. Sadly we will not be trying again, as I cannot go through this trauma again, and because of my age (I am now 45) I know the odds are against me and the likelihood of another miscarriage is so high. If I were 10 or more years younger I would definitely keep trying and I encourage others who are still young to keep trying. You will have that wonderful baby you’ve dreamed about someday. I am thankful for the 2 sons I have been blessed with and I’m lucky to have a loving husband and a wonderful life. Good luck with your pregnancies and my thoughts are with all of you who have suffered losses.

  Ellen Muratore wrote @ February 11, 2011 at 9:21 am

I am a nurse at PRMC in Naples, Fl and am looking for some support information or any local contacts in this area for women experiencing misscarriage.

Thank you

  Liz wrote @ July 30, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I have just started a suspected miscarriage and am devastated. I have two children already and never expected this to happen to me third time. I have a scan on Monday to confirm what has happened. This web site as been so helpful as well as reading everyone’s comments.

  Becky wrote @ March 30, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I am 19 and I suspect I am having a miscarriage. I’m in school and I am too young to be having a child. The father is no longer in my life and I don’t want him to be. There’s a part of me that says I should be thankful this is happening. I can let it go and continue my life, or so I thought. It stings. This stings so much both physically and emotionally.

  Jamie wrote @ August 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I went into the Dr because we knew were pregnant (after 3 tests at home) and the Dr did an U/S everything looked great! The baby was healthy and my cervix & uterus looked good… A week later I called with some concerns about darkish brown discharge, we went in and the Dr did another U/S and all looked good again. The very next day the discharge was more red in color & was more like blood this time. The Dr’s office was closed so we packed up our two children and went to the ER and they were very kind.. The U/S tech knew how upset I was and she showed me our baby… Baby had grown in the last week, heartbeat was strong all a good sign everyone at the hospital said. The next morning I checked in with my Dr again she did another U/S and she saw a “spot of concern” where the placenta was attaching but said baby was still growing and had a good heartbeat (we even heard the heartbeat). She told me to take it easy and just rest when I got home for the next few days til the bleeding stopped. We were very hopeful this bleeding would resolve and stop on it’s own but we were wrong. About two hours after we went to the dr and got all this good encouraging news my abdomin started cramping very bad and I felt severe pains in my back like I was in labor, I went to the bathroom to pee & suddenly I felt a stabbing pain and a large clot fell out of me. I think a part of me knew what had just happened but I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t leave what I thought might be our baby there in the toilet so I scooped it out and brought it with us as we rushed to the ER again.. This time we did not have great service. My husband had to sit with our children so I was pretty much alone. They were all cold and distant and when they delivered the news that our baby was indeed gone it was so medical and cold, “the ultrasound showed a vacated uterus with no fetus” my world was upside down and this woman was so cold! I am at a loss how everything could be fine one day showing all great signs of a good and healthy pregnancy to us losing out baby less than 24 hours later.. Has anyone had a similar experience or idea as to what happened? We couldn’t bear the thought of them testing our baby and just disposing of him or her after they’d been so cold to us so we brought our baby home to bury and we planted a little garden.. I am just numb & feel like I am letting my other children down because I cry all the time and feel so despondent… Thank you for this site and all the information it has helped some and I suppose time will heal the rest..

  K.B. wrote @ October 24, 2012 at 9:29 am

Just gone through a miscarriage at exactly 5 weeks on 14th Oct 2012, only discovered we were pregnant on the 11th Oct and we were over the moon. Have just taken a test to make sure I have no more pregnancy hormones in my system and the shock of seeing one single pink line when just over a week ago it was 2 pink lines has made me so emotional. People around me ate acting like I should be okay but this baby was loved from the second I suspected and now I feel extremely empty and very lonely. My husband has been a great support fortunately – but I still can’t shift this empty hole inside me. I’m feeling very tired and have spots in my face, is this normal? My appetite isn’t great either, hard to face people and act ‘normal’. Want to try as soon as we can but will wait until my first official period. So scared that it will happen again.

  hollis wrote @ November 20, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I found out i was pregnant on Nov.4 I was excited this would have been our fourth child. It was my first miscarriage and hope that we can try again soon. I appreciate everyone sharing their stories. It helps me feel normal what i m going through. I am feeling okay physically and emotionally. I am fatigued and off and on bleeding and cramping for six days. I found out last Thursday that the baby was gone via ultrasound. I already knew it though.something just wasn’t right i didn’t feel sick i just didn’t feel pregnant. Even though it was very early on I am still grieved. I know that it will get easier. I am just ready to start feeling normal again. I thought sharing my story here might help me heal.and maybe help someone else too.

  barbara wrote @ December 30, 2012 at 6:50 am

i had a miscarriage in may of 2012 my doctor at the time told me to wait two months till my second period we waited we never got pregnant again until 6mths later.we found out november 13th we were expecting. on my first doctor appt they did an ultrasound they seen one baby one heartbeat i was so happy because the miscarriage in may i didnt see nothing not even a baby. well my doctor was worried because the baby wasnt measuring right. so he scheduled me for a repaet ultrasound the week later which was on dec 12 this time to my surprise they seen two babies two heartbeats…i was so overly joyed i could bear sitting there anymore i wanted to jump for joy. the weeks go by i start cramping so my doc check my hcg an progesterone levels and my progesterone was low hcg levels were awesome so he put me on some meds for the low levels i had been taken it 3 days when they wanted me to get my blood redrawn an this time my progesterone went up so he decreased my meds an my hcg levels started leveling off. so i had to go back an get my blood redrawn on dec 26th i didnt get the results until the next morning with a voicemail from my doc office telling me i need to call them it was urgent..so i call them my heart already pounding she said my levels were going crazy and wanted me to get an ultrasound to see if the babies were ok…i got to my ultrasound appt an the nurse wouldnt let me look at the screen tell me if there was something wrong she acted as if everything was ok. she made me sit in the lobby to wait on my nurse to call over the telephone and when i got on it she said it wasnt good that neither baby made it i was 9 weeks pregnant seen their hearts just a beating away just a few short weeks ago.i was devasted i literally felt my heart quit beating for a second and i didnt care at that point and time if it ever started beating again. this was two in one year for me..i asked god why did he think i was a bad mother or why did i have to be punished..i asked all the whys and hows an what fors…i had my d and c on dec 28th reality hit me later that night i started crying uncontrollably..my husband held me up against him and rubbed my head telling me it will be ok. eventually i dozed off to sleep…i will miss them everyday…i hope this site helps me get through it…

  Rachael wrote @ March 9, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Tears are streaming down my face as I read these stories. Febury 16th 2013 was the one year date of my miscarriage. This baby was planned ans loved even before it was concieved. We took a test and after several months of trying were ecstatic to find out we were pregnant. I scheduled a dr appt for the next week because I was determined for everything to be perfect. When they did my blood test and ultrasound they told me my hcg levels were low and they only saw a gestational sac with no fetal pole. I was told that the dates may have just been off and I was just extremely early. I went back in every day for two weeks for blood tests that revealed my levels were not climbing as they should. The next ultrasound revealed a fetal poleand growing fetus. However we heard the heartbeat and it was at 70bpm we were told that was extremely slow but it could increase. Two days later I started spotting. I rushed to the dr and an ultrasound revealed the heartbeat had dropped to 66 and my cervix had opened. They said if I had any cramps or increased bleeding to go immediately to the er. The next day I had terrible cramps and clots bleeding out of me. We rushed to the er and an ultrasound revealed no heartbeat. They told me I needed a d&c right then but I was so distraught I just had to go home. We left and my husband sat up with me all night and we just cried.The next day we knew we had to go back because of my health to get the procedure done but I vvehemently resisted. To me it felt like abortion. Eventually it was done. I was a wreck for months. I was put on a suicide watch and felt I had no reason to live. I wanted to be with my baby. I got better as time went on but to this day I am not healed and not a day goes by where I dont think about my angel. Getting my commemorative tattoo helped with the healing but even now I struggle with thoughts of suicide. I just want my baby with me no matter the cost and it still feels like no one understands. I am just too afraid to try again. My thoughts are with you all. I would not wish this on anyone in the entire world.

  cheryl wrote @ March 24, 2013 at 1:02 am

Looking for hope. I just had a d and c . Is there any hope I can’t stop crying why was my baby taken . I do not understand. 9 am yesterday went to my 3 mo check up no heartbeat 3 confirmation ultrasounds and 8 hrs later we had d and c. I feel empty with my baby gone I don’t know what to do . Wr tried to get pregnant and now in a few hrs my baby is gone. Please help . We miss and love our baby so much.

  Kelli wrote @ April 28, 2013 at 11:04 pm

Hi everyone. I’ve never posted on any site before, but felt I needed to on this one. I want to start out by saying, I do have a 6 yr old beautiful little boy. But, had an ectopic 1 yr before we conceived with him. So, because I have him, I am lucky! We have been trying ever since his birth. I’m 35 and have only one Fallopian tube due to the ectopic. I found out we were pregnant April 16th 2013, with a due date on my sons birthday of December 20th. We were overjoyed, as we’ve been trying to conceive for some time. Friday, April 19th I spotted a small amount of brown discharge, I called my doctor immediately, and he assured me it was old blood, but he wanted me to rest. Sunday, April 21st, I woke up in a puddle of blood. I couldn’t believe it, I was in denial! How could something that we tried so hard for, for so long, be gone? What did I do wrong? I sobbed, on the floor, in a fetal position for what felt like iternity. It’s now a week later, I’m still bleeding, and I am more depressed now than I have been. It is devastating and I don’t have any answers to why this happened. I have a huge sense of guilt as I feel something is wrong with me. My husband wants another baby, but now I’m terrified. I feel too old, I feel disgusted with myself, I feel like my body killed my baby. The baby I’ve been wanting for so long. I feel selfish that I could feel like this and have a 6 yr old that is perfect in every sense of the word. I feel suicidal, but think of him and try to push those thoughts out of my head. I know I wasn’t that far along, but it was still my baby. I pray for peace, I pray for something that will make this easier. I’m so sorry that you all went through this, and to the women to come. It’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Just know you’re not alone.

  Nadiyah wrote @ August 25, 2013 at 4:10 pm

I just want to say I’m so sorry for all your loss, I know what you’re going through. I miscarried on July 27th of this year, at 19 weeks pregnant. I never thought it would be this difficult. You hear stories and imagine it hurts, but the grief in unbelievable.

I started cramping on Tuesday of that week, they got progressively worse and I saw my gynecologist on Thursday morning. He told me it was fine, baby was healthy, strong heartbeat and my cervix was closed. I told him I felt as if I was in labor (I have two other children) and he said it was just my uterus expanding, and that I should take a warm bath if it got any worse. By the Friday afternoon I couldn’t bare the pain anymore so I took a warm bath and passed my mucous plug in the tub. My husband and I rushed to the hospital and my water broke while I was waiting to be assessed. I was in shock at what was happening but I knew there was no chance my baby was going to make it at such an early age. I cry everyday, my only solace is knowing our baby is with God, and will never suffer in this sometimes cruel world. I wish all of you the strength to get through this.

  trice wrote @ August 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm

i recently experienced my second miscarriage, my first happened four years ago. in both cases i was pregnant with my child during the same time period as my sister. in both cases hers were healthy while mine did not make it here. everyday is so difficult to ge through. one moment i am content, the next moment i am crying my heart out ang questiong God. the thing that bothers me the most is that a few weeks before my second micarriage i dreamnt about losing my baby. I dont know if i am capable of carrying a baby to term. my partner is already considering trying again. i expressed that i am not ready. he desires to help me heal and I appreciate that. Part of me is resentful towards him and i am not sure why. taking life one moment at a time..

  Joanna wrote @ January 16, 2014 at 10:44 am

Thank you so much for this site it has helped me enormously after weeks spend trolling websites looking at pregnacy bleeding,slow rising hormone levels and the unfortunatly miscarraige the information has been so direct and honest as all the hospital and official advice was just vague and the same paragraph repeated, I’m just sorry I didn’t find this sooner (I was looking up trying again) as during the actual waiting for you body to expel the body I had no real info everything you say is what I feel and have gone through and all the nitty gritty details of what’s happening has really helped thank you

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