Recovery from a Miscarriage
This is an overview. For more specific aspects of recovery, follow these links:
[ First Few Days ]
[ The First Period ]
[ New Cycles ]
Physically, you will recover completely from a D&C or D&E in about two weeks. The bleeding should subside, your cycle will start up again, and the hormone-induced mood swings will even out. It will still take four to seven weeks to start a totally new cycle, and you should wait at least that long before trying again.
A birth takes considerably longer to recover from. You may have shaved areas that will grow out and itch or burn. You may have stitches that will be sore for a few weeks. This recovery is like any other post-partum. Check with your doctor in how long you must wait to try again. A general rule of thumb is that you must wait a cycle for every two months you were pregnant.
A natural miscarriage can take considerably longer. You may have to wait days or even a couple of weeks before the bleeding and cramping begin. (Don’t go more than two weeks without talking to your doctor about possibly getting a D&C. Studies show the longer you carry a lost pregnancy, the more likely you are to get seriously depressed, and the more likely you may have physical complications.) The actual miscarriage may only take a few days, or may drag out over several weeks.
For more information on the actual passage of tissue or how a D&C or D&E is handled, see miscarriage descriptions. Usually you will have to wait four to seven weeks for a new cycle to begin regardless of how the miscarriage happens, although a birth near term can delay your first period for several months. You should not try to conceive again during this time. For reasons why, see trying again.
The emotional recovery is another story altogether. One thing I will point out immediately is that your level of sadness is not at all tied to how far along you were. Everyone will be surprised by their emotions. Some will be near absolute despair and wish to join their baby. Some will be unpleasantly numb and feel nothing at all. Most will swing somewhere in the middle, seemingly okay one minute, then sobbing as if it were only yesterday. All the stages of grief will almost always be visited. Shock, numbness, denial, anger, guilt, depression, and finally resolution are all emotions you will experience. They do not come in order; some stages may go on for many weeks and others only a few hours. No two people grieve the same, as you will quickly see when your partner does not react the same way as you do. Don’t expect that you will “get over it” in a few weeks or even months. Don’t assume that getting pregnant again will turn everything around. Don’t give yourself a timetable. Just let the emotions come and go and try to keep your life going.
So, you ask, when WILL I feel better? In some ways, you never will. The complete innocence and pure joy of pregnancy will not come back. But you will feel better than you do right now. Your life will go on, you will try again, and you will survive. There is much more to happen in your life. You have to keep going to see what it is. Only when you look back on where you were will you see that you do indeed feel a little bit better. For more information on emotional recovery, see “How to Cope.” Once again, here are the additional topics under recovery:
[ First Few Days ]
[ The First Period ]
[ New Cycles ]
11 Comments »
Thank you so much for this incredible website. I just miscarried at a little over 7 weeks and have found your website to have such comprehensive and really helpful info. Everything from what to expect through the miscarriage process to trying again and just recovering from everything has helped me to start healing. I will recommend this site to others I may hear of in the future who are dealing with this loss. Thanks you again!
thanks a lot for this web site. it is so ture that no matter how far you went with the pregnancy, the emotions are the same. I am going through a possible miscarriage and this is my very first pregnancy. I say possible because my blood hCG level are not normal and I have pikinsh-red-brown soptting. I had my ultrasound just a couple days ago and i will be having one tomorrow. I am 7 weeks but just a couple days they said there was just a sac and nothing else. some times i dont know what happens to me, i want to be positive and lead a normal life but at the same time i feel guilty for thinking of doing so. i am so scared of trying again! truely the inocence and joy of pregnancy are gone.
i have so many questions for my doctor, i dont know where i will start tomorrow.
I never ever thought this could happen to me!
I am having a miscarriage right now and looking for help on how to manage all this. This site is really helpful– thank you.
I have just had a miscarriage during the last 48 hours. It is my second pregnancy, and after having a healthy baby previously, I wasn’t worrying about anything like this happening to me. It has been like a nightmare, but hearing other women’s stories have made me feel stronger and I am grateful to all of you who have shared. The words about the innocence and joy of pregnancy hit home with me, but I hope for all of our sakes we are able to feel something close to that again, as it is one of the most precious and beautiful feelings there is.
Hi
I as well just went through a iscarriage and actually are still going through it. This is my second pregnancy and I thought that miscarriage was for other people but not for me. I was so devestated and I still am. After reading the section about the complete joy of pregnancy being gone – it confirmed what I. Was afraid of. I’m scared that if I get pregnant again ill just be miserabally scared the whole time.
Thank you so much for this website. I found out two days ago that we lost our baby at only 9 weeks. We are both absolutely devastated, since we tried to get pregnant for quite some time. I keep having terrible nightmares, where I wake up in tears. Just not sure how to handle everything, it’s all still so fresh. I have a feeling this website will help. It’s comforting to know there’s help like this out there.
I had a miscarriage about a year ago. We had been trying for a very long time and when I found out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic. I was 7 weeks when I miscarried. I was totally devestated. The thought that I would miscarry had never even crossed my mind. I was extremely sad and angry for quite sometime. Truthfully it probably took me about 8 months to be able to accept it. It took us another year to get pregnant again. I am now pregnant and am at 12 weeks, but I worried and stressed anytime I felt a cramp or anything. Reading this article only reaffirms that until you go through it, you really can not relate to someone who has. There are physical and emotional aspects that I really do not think people understand until they go through it. It has made me alot more sympathetic towards anyone who has dealt with this. I feel for anyone who has been through this and pray you go on to have healthy babies.
I just found out today that my baby died 3 weeks ago at 7 weeks gestation. My heart is broken because this is the third time and I really thought I was going to be a mother this time around. I have to schedule another D&C and my doctor is going to have the tissue analyzed this time so she can see exactly what the problem is. I am 39 years old and fear that my eggs are just too old, which really hurts because I just started to ovulate and release eggs 3 years ago. I just don’t understand why this had to happen to me when I know I would have been a good mother. I miss my little nugget.
this has been a horrible time in my life i just lost my baby at 21 weeks and i feel so emtpy. emotionally numb. i had to have a d&C. physically i am fine, but emotionally i dont think i ever will be. my husband is ready to move on and try again but i am too scared. does the feelings ever get better?
hi all, today is Monday 11th, I started bleeding last Tuesday everyone said it was normall, I went for my 12 week scan on Monday 4th they said i misscarigde after that monday i was bleeding really heavy. Last night I was in so much pain I thought I was in labour or going to die, lots of big clots gushing out & loads of blood. I have another scan on Wednesday to see if come out naturally if not then a d & c. But i have been bleeding for 3 weeks tomoro. Im worried just seeing if any one can give me any advice? I am so sorry for everyone’s loss on her i fell for you. hope to hear from you soon.
Hi everyone-
I came across this website researching and telling myself that what was happening was not what I thought (again). Spoke to my doctor and had to hear that yes it most likely is.
I’m not sure how I feel as this comes after 2 miscarriages, and 2 births. I’m going through the anger stage. anger at myself for not following mothers intuition and just testing early. yes i know there is nothing that could have been done but I really just wanted my doctor to say no you didn’t have a miscarriage, you weren’t pregnant. But she couldn’t say that, instead she said, “lets test your HCG and make sure the levels are back where they need to be”. I’m heartbroken. but while I write this I can tell everyone; it truly does become bareable. you’ll beable to share your experience with someone else when they need it. but its hard to take your kids to playgroup and all of the other moms are pregnant and joking about having a nursing station set up…but they don’t even know that you were pregnant.
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Cradle, Broken Heart
