Deanna's Miscarriage Keepsake Cards

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[Books][Music][Artwork and Sympathy Cards][Web Sites]

Deanna's Top Recommendations
I have personally read these books and believe they are helpful.
If you decide to buy one of these books, remember that amazon.com gives 5% of the book price to Facts about Miscarriage when you order it directly through a link below. The book costs you the same, but the referral fee helps Deanna pay the hosting fees for this web site.

Davis, Deborah L. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. Golden, Colorado: Fulcrum Publishing, 1999 revised edition.

This is the book John and I read in the car in the weeks following our first loss. It takes you through every step of the grieving process, including moving on and trying for your next baby. It includes a solid section on what to expect both physically and mentally after a miscarriage or neonatal death. This book helped us a lot when we worked through it as a couple. Click here for more information.

Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge of Your Fertility. New York: Harper Perennial, 2006.

This book is a MUST HAVE if you are trying to get pregnant. For the first time in my life, I finally understood what all my discharges were about, how to truly interpret my temperatures, and all those fine details that mom, doctors, and pamphlets enclosed with products never explained. This book will definitely help you get pregnant faster, or clue you in quicker if you have an infertility problem that needs medical attention. A life saver. Click here for more information.

Molly's Rosebush by Janice Cohn.

A children's book that helps children deal with the loss of an unborn sibling. I bought this book for that day when Emily finally asks who Casey is. It is very nicely done, probably geared for the 3-8 age group, and has an introduction for parents. It is out of print, but you might can find it used. Click here for more information.

Friedman, Lynn, M.D. and Irene Daria. Miscarriage: A Woman Doctor's Guide. New York: Kensington Health: 2001.

A very quick reading book that concisely covers the causes of miscarriage and the treatments for those causes that can be identified. The emotional side of miscarriage is only glossed over, so this book is for the woman looking for hard facts. One of the better features of the book is a section with three very well written women's stories in complete detail, which is much more helpful than little sound bites from women that most books have. Click here for more information.

Other Popular Books

Eisenberg, Arlene, Murkoff, Heidi, and Hathaway, Sandee. What to Expect When You're Expecting. New York: Workman Publishing, 1996.

This is the classic book all pregnant women should own. Ask your doctor if he/she will provide you a copy before you buy one. Click here for more information.

Cirulli Lanham, Carol. Pregnancy after a Loss. New York: Berkley Books, 1999.

While this books is very popular and would probably be helpful to someone really worried about the emotional aspects of trying again, I didn't put it on my recommended book list for several reasons. I found it a little trying to harp on every little detail surrounding trying again, and the section on miscarriage causes was woefully short. This will take you slowly and in fine detail through each step of another pregnancy, but I think most women find that once the first few weeks are through, they want to focus on the new baby and not so much the scare. I'm not sure this book would help you enjoy a new pregnancy, and might keep you stuck in a mode where you don't feel like a normal pregnant women. I believe that while you will have nagging doubts throughout a pregnancy after a loss, you do want to move on eventually and are better served if you can do that. Click here for more information.

Children's Books

We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schwiebert.

A sweet children's book that helps both parents and siblings understand about the loss of the baby that was in mommy's tummy. Click here for more information.

Molly's Rosebush by Janice Cohn.

A children's book that helps children deal with the loss of an unborn sibling. I bought this book for that day when Emily finally asks who Casey is. It is very nicely done, probably geared for the 3-8 age group, and has an introduction for parents. It is out of print now, but you might can find it used. Click here for more information.

Songs that Heal

If any copyright infringements have occurred, please notify the webmaster and we will remove the offending matter immediately. Please consider the nature of our site and understand that we are here to promote your healing music, nothing more.

If you ever decide you want to buy one of these CDs, consider purchasing them via the links below to amazon.com. When you use these links to buy the CD, 5% of the cost of the CD goes back to Facts about Miscarriage to help pay for web costs.

To Where You Are
Performed by Josh Groban

A beautifully sung ballad about loss and coping.
Click for information about buying the CD with this song.

To Where You Are

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
’cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

My Name
Performed by George Canyon

An old woman dies, reliving the moment she had a stillborn child, only to be reunited with the lost baby at the moment of death.

Click to see the video of this song.
[Click for information about buying the CD with this song.]

It’s cold in here feels like everything’s upside down
I can feel you talking but I can barely make out the sound
I been kicking around these parts, feels like a year
I’m gonna change this world if I ever get out of here
She wants to dress me in pink, paints my bedroom blue
And I just laugh to myself, because only I know the truth
This love is my only emotion
Haven’t learned any fear any pain
It’s kind of funny with all this commotion
I guess they’ve got me to blame
And they don’t even know my name
And they don’t even know my name

Well I’ve never felt so ready, think it’s finally time
Cause that big old world is waiting, and it’s mine all mine
Just then everything got real quiet, it got real bright
And a man took my hand said don’t worry, your momma's gonna be all right
Then he opened the gate, & I followed him in
Said you can wait right here till it’s your turn again
And his love is the one true emotion
Heaven knows no fear no pain
I never got to set my wheels in motion
But they loved me just the same
And they never even knew name
Didn’t even know my name
You loved me just the same
And you didn’t even know my name

Angels Among Us
Performed by Alabama

Should you decide you want this song for your very own, it is available as a CD single and also as part of Alabama's Greatest Hits No. 3.

[Click for information about the CD single Angels Among Us]
[Click for information about Alabama's Greatest Hits No. 3]

Lyrics:

Angels Among Us

I was walking home from school on a cold winter day.
I took a shortcut through the woods, and I lost my way.
It was getting late, and I was scared and alone.
But then a kind old man took my hand and led me home.
My mama couldn't see him, but he was standing there.
And I knew in my heart, he was the answer to my prayers.

Chorus
Oh, I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love.

When life held troubled times and had me down on my knees.
There's always been someone to come along and comfort me.
A kind word from a stranger, to lend a helping hand.
A phone call from a friend, just to say I understand.
But ain't it kind of funny that at the dark end of the road.
That someone lights the way with just a single ray of hope.

Chorus

They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places.
To grace us with their mercy, in our time of need.
Oh, I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love.
To guide us with a light of love.

Glory Baby
Performed by Watermark
Watermark is a husband and wife team who lost a baby to miscarriage. This song was written just for this baby. They have since had a healthy baby boy.

Should you decide you want this song for your very own, it is available on their CD All Things New.

[Click for information about the CD All Things New, which includes the song "Glory Baby"]

Lyrics:

Glory Baby

Glory baby, you slipped away as fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened, dear, you disappeared on us baby, baby

Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we're home with you
Until we're home with you

Chorus

Miss you every day
Miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you
We will hold you

And you'll kiss our tears away
When we're home to stay
Can't wait for the day
When we will see you, we will see you

But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
'Till Mom and Dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do
Before we do

Sweet little babies
It's hard to understand it 'cause we're hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we're stronger people through the growing
And in knowing
That all things will work together for our good
And God works His purposes, just like He said He would
Just like He said He would

Chorus

I can't imagine heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like
But I'll rest in knowing that heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know
All you'll ever know

Chorus

Fly
Performed by Celine Dion

Should you decide you want this song for your very own, it is available on Celine Dion's CD "Falling into You"

[Click for information about the CD Falling into You]

Lyrics:

Fly

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wing of Heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

This song is sung by The Greenes. I have not found a regular CD to buy with this song on it, although you can get sheet music for it or a demo with the song and an instrumental version.

Jesus Has a Rocking Chair

Many hopeful moms and dads
Try to have a child of their own
Some will never get the chance
Others do and see them grown
And there are those who are expecting
That precious baby soon
But then it's gone before it ever leaves
The safety of it's mamma's womb

Jesus has a rocking chair
And He holds that precious baby
With oh, such tender care
He takes the place of mom and dad
He's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair

There are those who have a boy or girl
A lovely gift of God
But then sickness or a tragedy
Takes them from their parent's arms
Mammas wish for days gone by
Daddies long for that lost child
But the children are not lost
When you know where they are

She was eighteen and unmarried
Expecting her little one
But in her time of confusion
She took the life of her son
Since then Jesus forgave her
And took all her shame away
Still she cries missing her baby
But she hears the angels say

Jesus has a rocking chair
And He holds that precious baby
With oh, such tender care
He takes the place of mom and dad
He's the greatest parent a child could have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair

The Greenes

Where does this information come from?

Many people are concerned about the quality of information they receive on the Internet. It is a growing concern that people are getting medical advice from poor sources. (I especially despise the dozens of sites out there that act as though some product they sell will prevent miscarriage--it is NOT true and the sites are often filled with bad or slanted information.)

This site is written completely by Deanna, the web mistress, who lost her own first baby in 1998. Since then, she has interviewed doctors, read countless books, researched both print and web materials, and talked with several thousand women about their experiences via email and her bulletin board.

One thing we do know is that no one--from the terrified woman who is miscarrying to the revered doctors publishing well researched articles in the New England Journal of Medicine--totally agrees on many facts surrounding miscarriage. It is the intent of this web site to provide the most general and accepted of facts, while realizing that every woman's experience is different, and that statistics such as 1 in 500 don't mean much if you are the 1.

This site is certainly not infallible. The only person who can really tell you what is going on is your own doctor. If you are worried or experiencing problems, you simply MUST see a qualified ob/gyn or fertility specialist. Research is helpful and empowering, but will not stop your bleeding or tell you exactly what went wrong in your pregnancy.

To see my book and web resources, scroll to the top of this page.