Life goes on even if your pregnancy doesn’t. I had to go back to work, face all those students, deal with questions.
I was in a bunko group, and four of us were pregnant. We all joked we’d have to forego the dice game for several meetings to have baby showers instead!
After losing Casey, I decided to quit the group. Some things I just couldn’t handle. I didn’t go to any of their baby showers either. I had no desire to torture myself.
Still, I couldn’t always be protected. A few months after the loss we went to a bar–a BAR–to meet up with some old college friends for homecoming. I felt it would be safe. No one brings babies to bars! (Remember Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama? That’s a good movie about pregnancy loss, by the way, and how the couple didn’t cope, then figure things out…)
We’re standing in the parking lot just outside the patio as it is so crowded with UT alum. Everyone is laughing and talking. No one knows about the baby–these are people we haven’t seen in years, so I could escape a bit. We’re having fun!
Then up walks one of my bunko friends with her baby! I couldn’t believe it! Here was an infant, the same age as mine should have been, all gurgly and cooing and dressed up. They were showing him off!
I promptly began this horrible hysterical crying, sobs and hiccups and dry heaves, then threw up behind a car.
Let everyone think I was drunk. Fine by me. Stupid people bringing a baby to a bar.
Okay; still have some latent hostility. Deep breaths.
So, there are all sorts of these kinds of things that might happen in the weeks and months following a loss. I’m going to try in include as many of them in the book as I can, such as:
- Baby shower invite
- Going back to work
- Seeing ex with a baby or pregnant new love
- Sister is pregnant
- Around pregnant women not taking care of themselves
- Around parents who mistreat children
- Baptisms at church
Did anything happen to you that you could share? Or can you think of other social situations I should include?