A few years ago, a very dedicated mama enlisted some friends and set out to get Oct. 15 declared Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day in all 50 states of the U.S.
As the day approaches, I encourage everyone to light a candle for your baby at 7 p.m. local time to create the “Continuous Wave of Light” around the world to honor our babies.
Update: I am so IMPRESSED by some of you Mamas out there who are calling/emailing radio stations to ask them to announce the candle lighting on Monday. You ladies are awesome! Go proud Mamas!
Here are some words from Robyn Bear, the founder of Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day.
In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan Proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.”
This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”
Robyn Bear, founder of www.october15th.com envisioned a day when all grieving parents could come together and be surrounded by love and support from their friends and families, a day where the community could better understand their pain and learn how to reach out to those grieving. This would be a day to reflect on the loss yet embrace the love. While our babies’ lives where so brief, they were also very meaningful. Yet, there was not a time to talk about them. Our society seemed to forget or perhaps, simply didn’t know how to reach out. Since October had been proclaimed “Awareness Month”, she chose a day, in the middle of the month to become, “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day”. We are asking everyone in all times zones, worldwide, to join us in a candle lighting ceremony at 7pm on October 15th. For more information, please visit http://www.october15th.com
Ideas for October 15th
- Light candles and display them in your windows.
- Contact local Radio and News stations and have them announce that it is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
- Drive with your headlights on. Also, ask that radio and news stations announce this as well.
- Leave your porch lights on. Have radio and news stations announce this as well.
- Release butterflies (Can be expensive, but is very beautiful, Use a search engine such as yahoo and type in butterfly release)
- Release Doves (You can rent doves that are trained to fly back to the owner)
- Sponsor a candle lighting ceremony in a park, church, or local hospital.
- Send off a pink or blue balloon with your Angel’s name and/or picture. (Warning Please: If you do this, only send one balloon per child. This is very dangerous for birds and wildlife. The animals can eat the remnants of a balloon and die) (As beautiful and wonderful as it is, I can’t personally recommend it due to my love for animals)
Ideas for all of the Month of October
- Tying pink or blue ribbons around trees in yards, neighborhoods, and parks.
- Place signs and banners in your yard, neighborhoods, and parks.
- Contact your local radio stations and television news stations to have them announce that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
- Write an article and submit it to your local newspapers.
- Sponsor flowers in memory of your baby in a church service or hospital.
- Have a t-shirt made that says I have an Angel, and have your child’s name put on it.
Our Mission Statement To diligently work with local, state and national leaders to obtain a National Day of Remembrance recognizing the need for community education and awareness when a family loses a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, and/or neonatal death. While promoting the need for openness, understanding and compassion during a family’s time of grief and most importantly, allowing those who wish, to remember these children who we now hold dear.
Goals of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
To have information and support available to families who suffer from pregnancy and infant loss, to help them cope.
- To inform and educate the public about pregnancy and infant loss so they can better learn how to respond with compassion to affected families.
- To enable professionals, physicians, clergy, emergency medical technicians, funeral directors, police officers, public health nurses, and employers, to better serve families if they have special training and better knowledge of pregnancy and infant loss.
- To set aside a day to remember all pregnancies and infants lost in order to heal and be comforted in a time of pain and heartache, and to have hope for the future.
- Encourage Doctor’s offices, Churches, Hospitals, Funeral Homes, etc. to give to patients at the time of their loss pamphlets that would include books, websites, persons to contact, local and national support groups, resource centers.
- Inform parents of their rights at time of loss; burial, cremation, naming the child.
- Promote Public speaking outline for parents wanting to share their loss.
- A list “Do’s and Don’ts” for well meaning family and friends.
- Encourage media to feature stories on perinatal loss and the healing involved.
- Network with National and Local Organizations.
- Talk to professionals; find out how they deal with feelings related to loss in their work. Explain to them how critical their care and compassion is during this time.
- Develop presentation to H. R. departments for information sessions on this type of bereavement.
- Have October 15th leaders be liaison for those wanting to plan/attend services in their state. An outline will be developed and available on the website.
- Encourage community activities, outreach.
- Give parents one day to openly remember, as parents NEVER forget.
- Provide this healing opportunity so that families can look towards the future.
Why have a day of remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss?
Because EVERY life, even the tiniest and shortest lived deserves to be acknowledged and remembered. The parents of these children never forget, we would just like one day of the year for everyone else to remember then too.
12 thoughts on “Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Monday, Oct. 15”
i just wanted to share this poem i found, hope yall dont mind. i m/c 6 weeks ago and its helped me
I’LL BE THERE
Daddy, please don’t look so sad, Momma please don’t cry ‘Cause I’m in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies. Please, try not to question God, don’t think He is unkind. Don’t think He sent me to you, and then He changed His mind. You see, I am a Special Child, and I’m needed up above. I’m the Special gift you have Him, the product of your love. I’ll always be there with you, and watch the sky at night. Find the brightest star that’s gleaming, That’s my halo’s brilliant light. You’ll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane. That’s me, in the summer showers, I’ll be dancing in the rain. When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows. That’s me, I’ll be there, planting a kiss on your nose. When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a little tug, That’s me, I’ll be there giving your heart a hug. So Daddy, please don’t look so sad, Momma don’t you cry. I’m in the arms of Jesus, and He sings me lullabies.
I t is a very lovely poem, it touched me since i miscarriage on the 2nd of December, and i know what you felt.
It is very hard but i am sure that my baby girl is an angel
God bless you
I found this poem touching as we just had a loss in December. My husband has said that he is up in heaven waiting to come down again when the time is right. There is always a reason for everything and its just a matter of a short time when we’ll see him again. This poem helped me make sense of it all. Thanks.
im glad yall enjoyed it, i know it has helped me cope alot, i think i read it about 5 times a day and even have it on my myspace page. sorry about yall losses.
Thank you for this website….I couldn’t find another place to put this comment….You were the only place in a google search that described a Hcg hormone level drop miscarriage. I read all of your info. My husband read all of your info. We both appreciated the non-religious interpretation of the facts.
In a sea of not knowing you were there to provide facts. Thank you!
I just wanted to let you know that I love your video. I am a labor and delivery RN and part of our Bereavement Team. We are honoring Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day by having an education day next week. I wanted to see if you would allow us to play your video as part of our Awareness Day. Thank you for this website and all the information you are providing for those who experience a loss.
I am an OB/GYN office nurse looking for posters already printed to hang in our offices and at our local hospital for more public awareness. Any ideas???
A Poem I was given and put in my memorial pamphlet at the loss of our stillborn son on April 22,2010. Feel free to use it too.
To the Child in My Heart
O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure, and innocent
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.
We never had a chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I’ll always be your mother.
Hell always be your dad
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now you’re gone…but yet you’re here.
We’ll sense you everywhere
You are our sorrow and our joy
Just know our love goes deep and strong
We’ll forget you never-
The child we had, but never had.
And yet will have forever.
I recently had a miscarriage. i was 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat detected. i have two healthy beautiful girls, but the pain is so unreal to me. i never believed that i could be so sad. i was so excited to be haviinf another baby. those poems are beautiiful.