DeannaIt is always a joy to get an update from a once-grieving mom telling me she has had a baby since we last spoke. Often these notes come a year or more after her first frightened question on this site that I answered via email, and I am touched that these women took the time to track down the message I wrote them so long before.
I have had quite a few of these lately, and I’m talking about them because if you’re here right now, you’re probably either scared or grieving, worrying about a little blood you just found, or having some cramping, or waiting for test results and looking for information on the internet.
I’m here to tell you that even if the worst happens, an overwhelming majority of you (yes, YOU) will go on next time to have a healthy baby. You will never forget this one, and you will always carry a bit of grief in your heart over this loss. But you will go on, and you will find the courage to try again.
One thing about talking to women in the middle of a loss every day, as I do, is that you learn to appreciate the happy endings. So many of us have a very difficult journey into motherhood, full of despair we never knew we’d feel in connection with what was supposed to be the most joyous period of our lives.
But we do find our way. For a few, it might be adoption or recurring miscarriage treatments. But for most of us, we’ll perservere, and that baby we long for will come. And when it happens to you, I’m delighted to hear about it.
I had a miscarriage in may o8 it was very heartbreaking to us to lose such a precious gift from god, but we think of our baby boy everyday and keep his memory alive by talking about him and lighting a candle in his memory.in march of this year we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl named kynnedi, she is the light of our lives with her beautiful smile and gorgeous face. thank you Deanna for being here for all of us who experienced a loss. i continue to pray for you and the precious baby you lost.
Thank you, Kimberly. These are all wonderful things you are doing. Congratulations on precious Kynnedi.
Hi Deana…. I found your website after a US where I was told that the baby was not growing. This happened in April. I was devastated and your site really helped me pull through. I am pregnant again… 9 weeks. I am so happy and scared. Believe it or not I come here often to remember my LO and have hope that this baby will be ok. Your life story and posts like this give me hope. Thank you for giving me hope. You and your angels have comforted me so… thank you.
I too had a miscarriage in 07/08. I am now 29 1/2 weeks. This website helped me through so many things! I am not sure what I would have done without it. This is an excellent source of support for grieving families. It is nice to have a place to come write to my angel. Thank you for all you do. This pregnancy has been normal, but very scary! I still worry that something is going to happen, but know things are fine at the same time.
i have pcos i have been ttc from jan 2008 my gynae gave me clomid for 4 cycles didn;t work so we tried letrozole and it worked i got preggo this year in May in june at 8wks i miscarried the doc said it was chromosomal i am now 6 wks preggo and i can’t help wonder is this one will stick. am believing God that will meet my child next year in May. just need a little faith
A year ago I found out that I had miscarried just a week and a half after CVS. It’s been a year, but it’s hit me like a ton of bricks – blaming myself (got over the CVS, now it’s the electrolysis I was having done on my face at the time). I had a second miscarriage in March this year at 6 weeks. The first one still bothers me more than anything – I truly feel responsible. I have a beautiful 3 year old girl and I was so looking forward to having a little sister for her play with. I should have a 6 month old baby girl right now, and now I am debating whether I should even try again! Really wanted the kids to be closer in age. I struggle with this every single day and I cannot seem to get past it.
Carolyn,
I want to make sure you know that electrolysis does not cause miscarriage. Not in the least. Complications from CVS testing can cause a loss, but that would still not be your fault. You did what your doctor suggested.
Girl: I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I’m sunffrieg through the same thing right now, for the second time. I know it seems impossible now, but you will feel better in time. Make sure you and your husband take time to grieve. If you need to talk, I’m here. I’ve been there before. It got easier. We can do this.