21 years and counting

Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day was not always a thing.

Before social media, before the Internet connected us, grieving mothers cried alone.

Only once we all were able to find each other could ideas like a special period of mourning catch hold. Until then, we put on brave faces for friends and family, and soldiered on.

We still do the brave face before those around us not touched by loss. We go to work, continue our lives. But now we have a community we can tap into, and someone is always there.

On this day, October 15, we come together to remind everyone else that our babies are not forgotten. We light candles, we change our profile pictures, we share posts. Some of us will participate in walks and public events.

And this is a good thing.

No sorrow should be endured alone. And this one — the loss of a baby — is something you never recover from. Ask any woman who has lost a child, whether a young mother or approaching her 100th year, the current age her little one would be — and they can tell you.

For me, it’s 21, 17, and 17.

We never forget.


Oct. 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This day was designated by all 50 states in the US through the efforts of Robyn Bear.

On this day, at 7 p.m. your time, grieving families light a candle for their babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early perinatal death for one hour. As each time zone extinguishes their candles, the next one will light theirs, creating the continuous Wave of Light across the world.

Some families opt to do this alone at home. Others will invite friends, family, or fellow baby loss moms to come over. Across the world, official walks and candle lightings are formed. To see if there is one near you, check this page: http://www.october15th.com/activities-walks/

If you need music to play during your hour, I have compiled a list of YouTube videos that will play in order and be long enough for your hour.

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