My story began in 1998. I had no idea what I was about to go through was so common. Nobody talked about losing a baby. It was something that happened […]
23 years and counting
Deanna
Deanna’s Story
Deanna
What 19 years can do
Deanna
It’s interesting to think about where my life might be if things had gone differently on this day in 1998. Emily wouldn’t be graduating from high school next week. My […]
Casey’s 17th Angelversary
Deanna
In some ways, I’m lucky. April 28 does not fall on a holiday. It’s not my birthday or close to it. I don’t have Christmas or Thanksgiving affected by a […]
Sometimes you just have to embrace the sadness
Deanna
I’ve been crying for about four days straight. Those of you who have gotten an email from me during this time are probably saying WHAT? She was so PERKY when […]
Baby Casey would have been 14 this week — celebration give aways and more!
Deanna
Every year we celebrate what would have been Baby Casey’s birthday with new site features, prizes, and give aways! This year we’re trying this trendy new gadget called the Rafflecopter […]
The Dog Days of TTC
Deanna
I wrote back in May about starting to try again for a baby with my new husband. We’ve tried for three cycles, which I know isn’t a lot compared to […]
On Loss, Hope, Faith, Trying Again, and TTC #5
Deanna
You know you’re caught up in trying to conceive when someone asks you what the day is and you immediately say, “Cycle Day 4!” I never thought I’d be in […]
Another April, another Angelversary for Casey Shay
Deanna
Sometimes when women arrive at my Facebook group for those currently going through a loss, they ask, “How long until I get over this?” All I can say is, “Fourteen […]
Baby Casey would have been 13 years old today!
Deanna
My first baby Casey would have been thirteen years old today, and we’re celebrating his would-have-been birthday with give aways of some great books on loss. Since we can’t give […]
It’s Casey’s Angelversary
Deanna
Thirteen years and it could be yesterday. The giddiness we felt going to the doctor’s office to find out the gender of the baby. My students, back at school, placing […]
Getting ready for Oct. 15, 2010 candlelightings
Deanna
The big day is almost here! Pregnancy and Infant Loss Loss Remembrance Day is Friday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time […]
Eliza & Her Angel
Deanna
Many of you know my younger daughter Elizabeth was once part of a set of twins. I lost one of the babies when my water broke on that sac […]
10th Anniversary of Baby Casey
Deanna
Ten years ago today, at this very moment, I sat in a waiting room at my obstetrician’s office, flipping through baby magazines and occasionally glancing at the pregnant women around […]
Our Candlelighting
Deanna
I’m so pleased that so many new Mamas learned about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and participated. Some went well above and beyond to notify local news media and […]
Casey Would Be Nine Today
Deanna
As always, I spent Casey’s special day working on the site, doing upgrades, searching for new information, and freshening up. If I can’t make him a birthday cake, shop for that […]
The Flutter of Wings
Deanna
Sometimes amazing things happen to remind us that we really don’t understand the machinations of our world. I often think of the line to Josh Groban’s song “To Where You Are” that […]
Daily Doses
Deanna
Most every day I will receive two to five emails from women who have lost a baby. I try to always respond. Many just want to share their story–to tell […]
Anxiety and Hope
Deanna
I think all of us find ourselves riddled with self-doubt at times. Sometimes I wonder if I am any sort of spokesperson on this issue. Regularly I fear I’ve gone […]
Flashbacks
Deanna
Today, having sent Baby Dust to a few novel-writing friends to take a look at, I decided to focus on the rest of my to-do list and get my 2006 […]
I finished it
Deanna
I’m saying it here first, before I tell another living soul. Baby Dust is done. I wrote the last sentence two minutes ago. I’ll update you all more on what is […]
10K by Tuesday or bust
Deanna
I’m going to make a little push to write another big chunk of the book by midnight Tuesday. We’re all off work; I’m not leaving town until Wednesday, and I can […]
Baby Dust–I have not forsaken thee!
Deanna
I did finish NaNoWriMo last Thursday, and I did make the 50,000 words. Hooray! As always happens, once NaNo is over, I take a few days away from my novel […]
Progress, Surprises, Craziness
Deanna
I will put a new excerpt up soon, hopefully tonight. I cranked out another 20 pages yesterday and have propelled to chapter six. I am approximately 1/3 of the way through […]
The Passing of Life into Death into Light
Deanna
My grandfather died last night. He had been in a lot of pain, and just had surgery the week before. He hadn’t been able to eat in weeks. His passing […]
Progress
Deanna
I have written some 40 pages of the miscarriage book. I am pleased with how it is going. From here on out I will just post introductions to important characters and […]
Visions and Retelling
Deanna
I’ve been told many amazing stories on this blog in this last month. I have made a database of the ideas, moments, and scenes that seem to fit with the direction […]
Husbands and other Alien Life Forms
Deanna
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus indeed. I certainly knew my husband and I weren’t feeling the same way in the weeks following the baby’s death. I was […]
Friends Indeed
Deanna
Not everyone was insensitive, thankfully, after my loss. Many people at work or at church would call or email and tell me their stories of miscarriage. I ended up with […]
Grief Strikes
Deanna
Okay, I admit it. I’m not hanging in here too well When did the weeping start again? A few days ago, I guess. Now I’m crying every day, many times a day. […]
Friends, Family, and other Foes
Deanna
Not everyone knows how to act around a woman who has just lost her baby. Actually, hardly anyone does. I remember my husband got in an argument with one of […]
As the World Keeps Turning
Deanna
Life goes on even if your pregnancy doesn’t. I had to go back to work, face all those students, deal with questions. I was in a bunko group, and four […]
The Dog Days of Recovery
Deanna
Everything for weeks seemed directly related to my loss. Friends who didn’t call me back were avoiding me. Flowers that died were because I was a bad nurturer–no wonder the […]
Pinpricks and Rays of Light
Deanna
Good news! Yesterday, while having yet another cervical biopsy (yes, I’ve had cervical dysplasia since January, but it has not progressed very far and is nowhere near cancer yet) I told my […]
Dark Days and Waiting
Deanna
Some miscarriages resolve quickly, as far as its impact on the body. The heart is a different matter. But Daniel left me quickly and almost painlessly. Yes, I know. I […]
That First Awful Hour
Deanna
I am so happy and amazed at all the support I’ve gotten–so many suggestions. I am still trying to compile it all. A new character has certainly come to me […]
Themes, Dreams, and Nightmares
Deanna
I’ve lost babies several ways. I was 20 weeks along with Casey. He’d implanted on a wall running down the middle of my uterus. We didn’t know I was broken, […]