My story began in 1998. I had no idea what I was about to go through was so common. Nobody talked about losing a baby. It was something that happened […]
23 years and counting
Deanna
Grief
Deanna
Events to Suffer Through
Deanna
Managing the holidays There’s no doubt, any holiday can be a nightmare after a miscarriage. First there’s the family, who look at you sympathetically and say stupid things while they […]
Honoring Your Baby
Deanna
Ways to Memorialize the baby Whether you were 4 weeks or 40 weeks along, this was your baby. From the moment the nurse called you to say the test […]
Feelings You May Have
Deanna
I feel despair. It is natural to feel despair and incredible, debilitating sadness. You may not want to get out of bed, talk to anyone, eat, or even breathe. You […]
How do I tell my children?
Deanna
Whether you have lost a baby the children didn’t know about and they are wondering why you are so sad, or if you have come home from the hospital without […]
Sonograms
Deanna
While there are a few women out there who still fear sonograms and refuse them, there is no safer way of checking the status of your baby than harmless sound […]
What if the doctor is wrong?
Deanna
It is natural to feel the doctor is wrong, or to want to know what all they will do to prove to you your baby has been lost before performing […]
The Politics of Fetal Death
Deanna
Depending on the country, region, or state where you live, how your miscarriage will be handled depends on local laws. Your ability to receive your baby’s remains also depends on […]
Treatment for Miscarriages Diagnosed by Ultrasound or Falling hCG Pregnancy Hormones
Deanna
This will usually be noted on your chart as a missed abortion. You will often be given as much as two weeks to see if a natural miscarriage will begin. […]
I’m Not Sure I Was Ever Pregnant
Deanna
I am not sure if I was pregnant and miscarried or never pregnant at all. This is a very common question. Many people who are late, but begin bleeding before […]
21 years and counting
Deanna
Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day was not always a thing. Before social media, before the Internet connected us, grieving mothers cried alone. Only once we all were able to find each […]
What 19 years can do
Deanna
It’s interesting to think about where my life might be if things had gone differently on this day in 1998. Emily wouldn’t be graduating from high school next week. My […]
Where is God in all this?
Deanna
I’m losing faith in God It is hard to imagine a loving, compassionate God who would let things like this happen. What did an unborn baby ever do to deserve […]
It’s Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Deanna
Oct. 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This day was designated by all 50 states in the US through the efforts of Robyn Bear (a lovely fellow-Texas girl!) […]
On Surviving Mother’s Day
Deanna
My first Mother’s Day is gone from my memory, fried out, no doubt by several factors. My only baby had died just 10 days before. At church that Sunday, all […]
15 Years Since Casey Died, and a New Outreach!
Deanna
One of my life’s works it to keep Casey close by expanding my reach to families who have lost a baby. It’s hard to imagine that this year, Casey would […]
There is no perfect partner in grief
Deanna
Pretty much every single day a mom comes into my private group and tells me her husband is making her feel worse. She is sad. He is not. She misses […]
Sometimes you just have to embrace the sadness
Deanna
I’ve been crying for about four days straight. Those of you who have gotten an email from me during this time are probably saying WHAT? She was so PERKY when […]
Letters to Readers: On suicide thoughts
Deanna
I never share private notes written to me, but sometimes I like to post my responses, as often what I say applies to many situations, and a keyword search might […]
As Oct. 15 approaches, a song for you
Deanna
Remember that on Oct. 15 (a Monday this year) at 7 p.m. your time, grieving families around the world will light a candle for their babies for one hour, completing […]
Another April, another Angelversary for Casey Shay
Deanna
Sometimes when women arrive at my Facebook group for those currently going through a loss, they ask, “How long until I get over this?” All I can say is, “Fourteen […]
How Good Housekeeping failed the Baby Loss community
Deanna
In the February 2012 issue of Good Housekeeping, the magazine printed this pop quiz written by Peggy Post, now the head of Emily Post’s etiquette institute: Your coworker shared her good […]
If you wish you’d had more information after your loss, here’s your chance to change things
Deanna
Kristin over at Faces of Loss is just 14 positions away from earning a $25,000 grant from Pepsi to get booklets printed up and sent to hospitals. If she makes her […]
Special e-cards for Mother’s Day
Deanna
Mother’s Day is a really tough day for a lot of people. I blog about the holidays all the time (read some here). I know many of you this year […]
Grandparents and Grief after a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Deanna
Yesterday at a support group meeting by the fabulous Face2Face Austin, one of the local groups started by Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, we talked about how our parents […]
Women who are changing the world of miscarriage
Deanna
Last year I was delighted to discover Faces of Loss. What an amazing web site and crew of women behind it. Today I found another amazing woman out to get […]
In honor of Oct. 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day
Deanna
Casey Shay Press has made its memorial book a flat $10 and its Angel bumper sticker $1 from now through Oct. 15. US Shipping is only $3.99 for both, but […]
Getting ready for Oct. 15, 2010 candlelightings
Deanna
The big day is almost here! Pregnancy and Infant Loss Loss Remembrance Day is Friday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time […]
Ideas for Mother’s Day
Deanna
Oh, what a troubling day this is, especially if you have yet to bring a baby home. One of the reasons I started Casey Shay Press was to come up […]
My life, hard times
Deanna
I keep getting behind on comments. I truly apologize, ladies. Last year, my second little miracle baby, now seven years old, had her first Grand Mal seizure. Since then, we’ve […]
Managing the holidays after loss
Deanna
So many of you are writing me lately. I don’t mind at all, but I do worry about the sudden increase in despairing moms who have lost their babies during […]
Preparations for the Oct. 15 Candlelighting
Deanna
The big day is coming up. Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Thursday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time to participate in […]
Photo shoots for the angel book
Deanna
I am so thrilled to finally be in production for the “In the Company of Angels,” a memorial book for moms who have lost babies to miscarriage or stillbirth. FINALLY, […]
A Day for Dads
Deanna
Certainly, dads grieve differently from moms. I hear from the occasional dad after the loss of a baby. Usually he is worried about mom, wanting to know what he can […]
On Mother’s Day
Deanna
This Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day in the US. If you are at this site right now, I know your dreams of motherhood are not going the way you thought they […]
Anniversary Dates
Deanna
Some women aren’t sure which is worse — dreading an important anniversary or forgetting it all together. I get both scenarios in my inbox. Women who don’t see how they can […]
Test post
Deanna
For the link www.lonestarboudoir.com See.
Sympathy Cards
Deanna
Ever since all the e-card nightmares where scammers were sending emails saying “You have a greeting card from a friend” but it was really just phishing for your private information, […]
Loss and the End of Relationships
Deanna
Losing a baby is one of the hardest things you will endure, but what happens when you also lose the relationship with the father? It’s easy to think, “Who else […]
Our Candlelighting
Deanna
I’m so pleased that so many new Mamas learned about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and participated. Some went well above and beyond to notify local news media and […]
As Mother’s Day Approaches
Deanna
I know it can be a hard day. Every marquee at every restaurant touts it. Sentimental commercials broadcast emotion. Your inbox swells with gift suggestions. The grocery store explodes with […]
Not So Well Wishers
Deanna
How many of you have heard these phrases? It probably would have been deformed. Thank goodness you were only in your first trimester. It’s not like it was a real […]
Tears Revisited
Deanna
Sometimes as I go about life I stumble across something that brings my loss eight years ago flooding back. When I do, I tend to drown in it, obsess over […]
The Passing of Life into Death into Light
Deanna
My grandfather died last night. He had been in a lot of pain, and just had surgery the week before. He hadn’t been able to eat in weeks. His passing […]
Husbands and other Alien Life Forms
Deanna
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus indeed. I certainly knew my husband and I weren’t feeling the same way in the weeks following the baby’s death. I was […]
Grief Strikes
Deanna
Okay, I admit it. I’m not hanging in here too well When did the weeping start again? A few days ago, I guess. Now I’m crying every day, many times a day. […]
The Dog Days of Recovery
Deanna
Everything for weeks seemed directly related to my loss. Friends who didn’t call me back were avoiding me. Flowers that died were because I was a bad nurturer–no wonder the […]
That First Awful Hour
Deanna
I am so happy and amazed at all the support I’ve gotten–so many suggestions. I am still trying to compile it all. A new character has certainly come to me […]