My story began in 1998. I had no idea what I was about to go through was so common. Nobody talked about losing a baby. It was something that happened […]
23 years and counting
Deanna
Miscarriage
Deanna
About the Pregnancy Hormone hCG
Deanna
Human Chorionic Ganadotropin (hCG) is only produced during pregnancy. It is the hormone that home pregnancy tests look for as well as blood tests at the doctor. It is produced […]
Diagnosing the Cause of Miscarriage
Deanna
Before I begin, let me say that I know it is frustrating and scary to face both trying again immediately or testing for causes before trying again. Both approaches are […]
Myths about Miscarriage
Deanna
Sometimes after your miscarriage you will remember straining to lift something, worry over the three martinis you drank before you took the pregnancy test, or wonder if you should have […]
21 years and counting
Deanna
Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day was not always a thing. Before social media, before the Internet connected us, grieving mothers cried alone. Only once we all were able to find each […]
What 19 years can do
Deanna
It’s interesting to think about where my life might be if things had gone differently on this day in 1998. Emily wouldn’t be graduating from high school next week. My […]
Books about Miscarriage
Deanna
Baby Dust: A Novel about Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss by Deanna Roy The five women sitting in the circle of chairs all had great dreams of motherhood. Then their babies […]
Preventing Miscarriage
Deanna
I’m going to start this page with the important point that there are very few miscarriages that are preventable. Well over half of all miscarriages are caused by random genetic […]
Choosing between D&C and Natural Miscarriage
Deanna
When you have a choice between surgery and natural miscarriage or labor Usually you will be offered a choice between surgery and either waiting for a natural miscarriage or having […]
Telling friends and family about your miscarriage
Deanna
I remember the moment I called my parents as if it were this morning. We were supposed to have found out the sex of the baby, but instead we learned […]
Will it happen again?
Deanna
I know this is a big question. If it happened once, you worry that it will happen again. If this is your first pregnancy, you worry that it will happen […]
What causes miscarriage
Deanna
Most early miscarriages (as many as 60% of first trimester ones) will remain unexplained. It is usually assumed these losses are genetic, where the chromosomes simply did not replicate correctly. […]
Symptoms of a miscarriage
Deanna
On this page you will find four categories of miscarriage symptoms: definite signs of a forthcoming miscarriage, possible signs, signs that might scare you but are really okay, and unusual […]
Miscarriage Myths
Deanna
Miscarriage Myths Sometimes after your miscarriage you will remember straining to lift something, worry over the three martinis you drank before you took the pregnancy test, or wonder if you […]
15 Years Since Casey Died, and a New Outreach!
Deanna
One of my life’s works it to keep Casey close by expanding my reach to families who have lost a baby. It’s hard to imagine that this year, Casey would […]
Letters to Readers: Miscarriage and Desertion
Deanna
I never share private emails sent to me, but I occasionally post my responses with any identifying information taken out, in hopes that keywords will lead you to some answers. […]
Mother’s Day Give Away #2
Deanna
So many things out in the world are there just to help Baby Loss Moms. I’m always amazed by the talent and love that so many mothers put into their […]
Mother’s Day Give Away #1
Deanna
I know this week is bittersweet for many of us. You’re here because at least one of your sweet babies didn’t make it into your arms. Mother’s Day is forever […]
A new private group for those worried about miscarriage symptoms
Deanna
So many of you are in a tough place. Bleeding, cramping, worried about a miscarriage, and you can’t talk about it because sometimes no one even knows you are pregnant. […]
Mother’s Day Give Away: Your baby’s name in a movie credit
Deanna
UPDATE: The three Olsen angels won the movie credit! Over at A Place for Our Angels: Memorials for Miscarriage and Stillbirth Babies, we’re having a HUGE Mother’s Day contest. We’ve […]
Grandparents and Grief after a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Deanna
Yesterday at a support group meeting by the fabulous Face2Face Austin, one of the local groups started by Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope, we talked about how our parents […]
Angel Feature – Neveah
Deanna
When Casey Shay Press ships out an angel book, we ask moms if they’d like to photograph some of the pages from their filled-out memory book so that we can […]
Such beautiful statues
Deanna
Robyn Bear of October15th.com is promoting these new statues by artist D. Antonia Truesdale, and they are so beautiful. I have never seen anything like them: Go on over to […]
Women who are changing the world of miscarriage
Deanna
Last year I was delighted to discover Faces of Loss. What an amazing web site and crew of women behind it. Today I found another amazing woman out to get […]
Time to plan your memorials and walks for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
Deanna
October is coming soon — only seven weeks away! October 15 is the international day for pregnancy and infant loss awareness as started by Robyn Bear. Many of us will […]
Let’s talk about swine flu and miscarriage
Deanna
I both run and belong to several support groups on miscarriage all over the internet. I’ve seen a somewhat alarming trend on forums and blogs to make the recommendation that […]
Dia de los Muertos
Deanna
At the candle lighting last month, I had the pleasure of meeting Hannah Silk Kapasi, an artist local to Austin. She let me know that as part of the Mexic-Arte […]
Preparations for the Oct. 15 Candlelighting
Deanna
The big day is coming up. Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Thursday, Oct. 15. Remember to light your candle from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. your time to participate in […]
Miracles after Miscarriage
Deanna
It is always a joy to get an update from a once-grieving mom telling me she has had a baby since we last spoke. Often these notes come a year or […]
Winter Blues and Virtual Hugs
Deanna
So many of you are having a hard time. I’ve had a four-fold increase in direct emails since the new year began. Heartbreaking stories, difficult moments. Many of you feel […]
Managing the Holidays without Baby
Deanna
Here in the US, we are coming up on another Thanksgiving, and for those of you coming to this site right now, thanks is not something you may feel like […]
Your next pregnancy: To tell or not to tell
Deanna
One of the scariest parts of getting pregnant after a miscarriage is the fear that it might happen again. It permeates everything, and can be so strong that seeing that […]
Book Review: Miscarriage, Medicine & Miracles
Deanna
Miscarriage, Medicine & Miracles: Everything You Need to Know about Miscarriage by Bruce Young, MD, and Amy Zavatto is the newest medical-based book on pregnancy loss. Other types of books […]
The Problem of Early Detection Pregnancy Tests
Deanna
During research for my book Facing Miscarriage, I stumbled across an article in the British news source, The Telegraph, talking about a “panic” that spread across the UK when early detection home pregnant […]
Eliza & Her Angel
Deanna
Many of you know my younger daughter Elizabeth was once part of a set of twins. I lost one of the babies when my water broke on that sac […]
Sympathy Cards
Deanna
Ever since all the e-card nightmares where scammers were sending emails saying “You have a greeting card from a friend” but it was really just phishing for your private information, […]
Site hacking
Deanna
I’m sorry that my site has been experiencing some troubles. I have a hacker going after me and deleting it daily. I’m working on closing up any holes. I’ve very […]
Our Candlelighting
Deanna
I’m so pleased that so many new Mamas learned about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and participated. Some went well above and beyond to notify local news media and […]
Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day is Monday, Oct. 15
Deanna
A few years ago, a very dedicated mama enlisted some friends and set out to get Oct. 15 declared Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day in all 50 states of the U.S. She […]
Our Newest Beautiful Angel
Deanna
About a year ago, I redesigned this site. I wanted to create the most beautiful ever image of an infant lying on a cloud as an angel, but I didn’t […]
As Mother’s Day Approaches
Deanna
I know it can be a hard day. Every marquee at every restaurant touts it. Sentimental commercials broadcast emotion. Your inbox swells with gift suggestions. The grocery store explodes with […]
The Flutter of Wings
Deanna
Sometimes amazing things happen to remind us that we really don’t understand the machinations of our world. I often think of the line to Josh Groban’s song “To Where You Are” that […]
Not So Well Wishers
Deanna
How many of you have heard these phrases? It probably would have been deformed. Thank goodness you were only in your first trimester. It’s not like it was a real […]
Hormone Trauma
Deanna
This is a touchy subject, but one I can address more easily in general rather than with someone specific in an email or post. Hopefully some of you out there […]
Tears Revisited
Deanna
Sometimes as I go about life I stumble across something that brings my loss eight years ago flooding back. When I do, I tend to drown in it, obsess over […]
Suicide Thoughts
Deanna
Among the emails I receive daily are suicide notes. Some women just write to express their fears about having thoughts of suicide. Others are in full-blown distress, ready to give […]
Daily Doses
Deanna
Most every day I will receive two to five emails from women who have lost a baby. I try to always respond. Many just want to share their story–to tell […]
Anxiety and Hope
Deanna
I think all of us find ourselves riddled with self-doubt at times. Sometimes I wonder if I am any sort of spokesperson on this issue. Regularly I fear I’ve gone […]
Flashbacks
Deanna
Today, having sent Baby Dust to a few novel-writing friends to take a look at, I decided to focus on the rest of my to-do list and get my 2006 […]
I finished it
Deanna
I’m saying it here first, before I tell another living soul. Baby Dust is done. I wrote the last sentence two minutes ago. I’ll update you all more on what is […]
10K by Tuesday or bust
Deanna
I’m going to make a little push to write another big chunk of the book by midnight Tuesday. We’re all off work; I’m not leaving town until Wednesday, and I can […]
Baby Dust–I have not forsaken thee!
Deanna
I did finish NaNoWriMo last Thursday, and I did make the 50,000 words. Hooray! As always happens, once NaNo is over, I take a few days away from my novel […]
Holy cow–I HAVE A TITLE FOR THIS BOOK!
Deanna
I have been so struggling with this. I’ve played with babies and angels and mothers and wombs and sorrow and birth and all sort of words. I have pages of […]
Progress, Surprises, Craziness
Deanna
I will put a new excerpt up soon, hopefully tonight. I cranked out another 20 pages yesterday and have propelled to chapter six. I am approximately 1/3 of the way through […]
NaNoWriMo Progress and Setbacks
Deanna
I’m 11 days into National Novel Writing Month and have finished two chapters of the book. I am considerably behind at this point, having left town for the funeral and […]
Meet the Ladies
Deanna
As I begin the novel, I thought I’d introduce the first four characters you will meet ahead of time. You will get to know them well in the months to come. […]
Yes, keep the stories coming
Deanna
To answer a few questions– Yes, I will still be reading and thinking and using comments throughout the writing of the book, so still leave your stories! Women will be […]
Visions and Retelling
Deanna
I’ve been told many amazing stories on this blog in this last month. I have made a database of the ideas, moments, and scenes that seem to fit with the direction […]
Loss Groups
Deanna
We are nearing the end of my questions, and I will compile the situations I will try to weave into the narrative shortly. Writing begins in seven days! The pregnancy […]
Husbands and other Alien Life Forms
Deanna
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus indeed. I certainly knew my husband and I weren’t feeling the same way in the weeks following the baby’s death. I was […]
Friends Indeed
Deanna
Not everyone was insensitive, thankfully, after my loss. Many people at work or at church would call or email and tell me their stories of miscarriage. I ended up with […]
Grief Strikes
Deanna
Okay, I admit it. I’m not hanging in here too well When did the weeping start again? A few days ago, I guess. Now I’m crying every day, many times a day. […]
Friends, Family, and other Foes
Deanna
Not everyone knows how to act around a woman who has just lost her baby. Actually, hardly anyone does. I remember my husband got in an argument with one of […]
As the World Keeps Turning
Deanna
Life goes on even if your pregnancy doesn’t. I had to go back to work, face all those students, deal with questions. I was in a bunko group, and four […]
The Dog Days of Recovery
Deanna
Everything for weeks seemed directly related to my loss. Friends who didn’t call me back were avoiding me. Flowers that died were because I was a bad nurturer–no wonder the […]
Pinpricks and Rays of Light
Deanna
Good news! Yesterday, while having yet another cervical biopsy (yes, I’ve had cervical dysplasia since January, but it has not progressed very far and is nowhere near cancer yet) I told my […]
Dark Days and Waiting
Deanna
Some miscarriages resolve quickly, as far as its impact on the body. The heart is a different matter. But Daniel left me quickly and almost painlessly. Yes, I know. I […]
Scenes and Beginnings
Deanna
I continue to be so amazed by the stories I’m told. Today I received an email that taught me more about the dynamics of step-children to a woman without children […]
That First Awful Hour
Deanna
I am so happy and amazed at all the support I’ve gotten–so many suggestions. I am still trying to compile it all. A new character has certainly come to me […]
Themes, Dreams, and Nightmares
Deanna
I’ve lost babies several ways. I was 20 weeks along with Casey. He’d implanted on a wall running down the middle of my uterus. We didn’t know I was broken, […]
Yes, I will!
Deanna
Many times since my miscarriage website began, women have asked me, “Why don’t you write a book?” My answer has pretty much always been the same, “Good books are already out there.” […]
A new endeavor
Deanna
I hope women from my web site as well as others who find this blog via searching for information about miscarriage and stillbirth will come along this journey with me–a […]