Where is God in all this?
I’m losing faith in God
It is hard to imagine a loving, compassionate God who would let things like this happen. What did an unborn baby ever do to deserve this? What have you done?
You may feel your faith is being tested right now, and it is completely understandable that you will doubt in God. Regardless of your religion, “Why, God?” is a universal question when we face suffering. In many ways, you will have to think your way through your conflicting feelings about a God that you love and believe in, but you feel has failed you. Your clergy, pastor, preacher, rabbi, or priest may be able to help.
I thought of it this way: God is here for us. He will carry us through our troubles if we let Him, but He does not guarantee that life will go as we wish. Death and suffering are part of our life, and our faith is there to help us through it, not prevent it. The last thing I wanted to do in my hour of need was to cut myself off from the only person who would not say something thoughtless or let me down–God.
At the bottom of this post, please feel free to add your ideas about managing these hard days in your religion.
Thoughts for Christians
We should always remember that earth is not heaven. Heaven is our reward for going through trials, pain, and suffering of this earth and remaining faithful Christians. God does not always answer our prayers in exactly the way we want, but He is there, listening, and caring. Many words from the Bible are comforting for moms going through miscarriage. Here are a few:
About your baby:
Isaiah 49:1 – The LORD called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name.
Jeremiah 1:5 – Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Mark 11:24 – Therefore I say to you whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
Jeremiah 33:6 – Behold, I will bring you health and cure, and I will cure you, and will reveal unto you the abundance of peace and truth.
Sarah W. passed along her experience with angels.
Both times I had to have the D&C, I asked the angels to just help me get through. The first time was more like a dire plea for help, with no politeness or really gratitude, it was more like ‘please just get me through this hell, any angels out there just please take me away somewhere and then bring me back once it is all over’ kind of plea. But strangely it really worked, and all through the experience I felt a huge love and support carrying me through. I managed to get through surgery being delayed for 4 hours, waking up half way through the procedure because I stupidly told them I was a sensitive person and they took this to mean I won’t need as much drugs, whereas I actually meant that I can feel the pinprick of a needle already a foot away before it has touched my skin, kind of sensitivity. Anyway, I got through it with lightness and sometimes even laughter.And the same last Friday when I went for my 11 week scan and discovered there was no heartbeat. I had to wait until Tuesday (2 days ago) to have the dnc and asked again for the angels to just get me through the weekend without me miscarrying myself or having any complications or fear. It seems to have gone well again, and I felt all Saturday and Sunday a huge feeling of love and compassion surrounding me.My belief in angels comes from a personal experience I had about 5 years ago following a break up of a long term relationship. One night while alone in the house, I experienced and felt (but not saw) a very overpowering energy envelope me, giving me the feeling of infinite, unconditional, and overwhelming, far beyond anything I can explain or have experienced, love. It completely freaked me out at the time of course, and it took me a few years to assimilate the experience, and all I can equate it to, in my mind, is that it really was an angelic presence.
So, occasionally, when I remember that I am also a spiritual being and not simply just a physical one, I remember to call on these guardians to support me through difficult times, and I recommend anyone try it. One doesn’t need a candle, a ritualistic approach, or any trite incantation to make it happen. For me, simply by asking from the heart, begging even (which most of us really want to do at times like this), wherever you are – in the car, in bed, in the hospital room, or at the midwife, just ask the angels to come and help you, to give you comfort, to get you through it, to just relieve some of your pain, or whatever you personally need or want, and you may be surprised what occurs.
I think a spiritual outlook or a philosophical approach can be the most invaluable at times like this. After all, us women are creators, we can create and nurture new life. That is so magical, and we have such a strength to be able to do that and to continue to try to do that. We mustn’t let the medical profession rationalise it too much, and get too bogged down in talk of chromosomes, progesterone…etc, but remember that something far more magical is at work, and we are the magicians.
Thoughts for Buddhists
Sent in by Derek
Thank you for your time and effort in developing and maintaining your website. My wife and I found it to be a great help.
We are Buddhists, and perhaps you would consider posting this regarding our recent loss.
We believe that we choose our life; our parents, our family, our friends, how we live, and how we die.
We believe that the life who chose us, did so to bring us joy, and to allow us to experience being parents.
We hope that next time, he/she will stay longer, and help us to experience even more joy.
Thoughts for Mormons
Sent in by Melanie
My name is Melanie, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have recently lost my first baby, whom I had been waiting for three years. I t was been an extremely hard thing for me, but there is one thing that has brought me peace more than anything. As members of the church we believe that Families can be together forever, meaning that your relationship with your husband and children does not end at death. When we get married in the Temple, we are married for time and eternity. We believe that there will be a time that we will see each other again and we will live together as a FAMILY. This has brought me hope and has reminded me of how merciful God is that he will allow us to be with the people we love them most for the rest of our lives. There is a great website that explains this hope that I am talking about and it is
I invite every single woman who is going through the same thing I am going through, to visit this website. I promise them that this will bring hope and happiness to them and their families.
Add Your Own
If you would like to contribute additional verses from your own personal trove of scripture or sacred text of any religion, feel free to add them in the comments below.
Miscarriage strikes women of every religion, and we find solace in our beliefs no matter where they originate.