Third Trimester Stories

Jared’s Story

My husband and I had tried to conceive for two years and finally went for infertility treatment. Our first IUI (where they insert sperm into the uterus) was a success. 

When I was 29 weeks along, I began feeling mild cramps all day. Everyone at work told me it normal. I went to my doctor anyway, and she could not find his heartbeat.  My husband met me at the hospital and they tried to find his heartbeat with their monitors. Everything was silent. 

They rushed me down to ultrasound where my OB met us. They turned the screen, but I could tell by their faces that he had died. I screamed and cried. I told God to take me instead. We went to labor and delivery and my husband called our families. I was given medication that made me very sleepy. My son was born only four hours after the ultrasound. 

The doctor placed him on my chest. He was so warm. She wrapped him in a blanket, and I held and touched him. My husband also held him. The doctors and the nurses were very kind. They called the priest and he blessed our son. We all prayed together. A leaf with a tear drop was placed on our door so the staff knew our baby had died. 

Since his death on September 15, 1999, we have started to try again to conceive. The doctor said his death was a result of a placenta abruption, so are hopeful that it will not happen again. We named our son Jared William and we will always love and miss him.

Jared’s Mommy

Celeste Josephine’s Story
10-12-97 to 6-22-98

My pregnancy seemed to go without problems. In the last month or so, I kept having to go in for extra tests, but no one really said why. I tried not to worry even though my gut feeling told me something might be wrong. On June 22, 1998, my girlfriend insisted on coming with me to the doctor’s office. I was only a week away from the due date and wanted to push the doctors to induce labor. I know now that God made sure that she was with me that day because my husband couldn’t be. 

I went to the sonogram room, and we didn’t see the baby’s heartbeat.  The doctor asked when was the last time I had felt the baby move.  I told her this morning.  I asked if my baby had died and she replied with a very soft yes.  All I could do was cry. I couldn’t believe we had made it this far and that my baby wasn’t going to be here with me.  

As we drove to my house we tried to reason that maybe the baby is okay and that they made a mistake.  As we pulled up, I saw my husband running outside with the bags we had packed for labor and delivery. I told him to go back into the house.  When I got to the top of the stairs, I had to tell him the horrible news.  I remember him crying and saying that they must have made a mistake.

We went to the hospital that night. The nurse was very sympathetic and asked me if I wanted to hold the baby after delivery, if I wanted pictures of the baby, if I wanted the baby baptized and if I would like to spend time alone with the baby after it was born.  I remember answering yes to all her questions and that she told me I needed to do all those things for closure. 

At 7:00 p.m. I was induced.  At 11:53 p.m. I delivered a 5 lb, 5 oz baby girl.  I saw nothing wrong with her, and I asked myself why didn’t they just take my baby before?  So what if she was only a week early? We named her Celeste Josephine.  I remember my husband on the phone with his brother while holding the baby telling him how beautiful she was.  He held her for an hour before they came and took her away.

June 24, 1998, was the last day I got to see my baby at the funeral home.  We spent a hour with her, then had to leave her there.  She looked so beautiful with her headband on and her pretty pink dress.  I put a baby duck in her coffin and her first car keys.

My husband and I discussed having another baby many times but we wanted to wait at least six months.   I felt like I had done something wrong with God that I was being punished.  I went to church almost every day to ask for his forgiveness.

My husband and I were constantly fighting and at that point didn’t even know if my marriage was going to last.  I thought that I was having a nervous breakdown; I became very introverted and constantly had panic attacks. I couldn’t leave my house and would never be able to be alone.  I finally talked my husband into letting me get online.  When I did I found all kinds of outlets and people who have gone through the same thing as me.

I am very happy to say that I did become pregnant again in December 1998 and had a beautiful baby girl on August 31, 1999.  Her name is Lourdes Celeste.

 

Tina’s Story

In 1991 I was stationed in Germany and found out I was pregnant. I was shocked, overjoyed and somewhat dumbfounded. Everything went fine, then at my 22 1/2 week mark, I was lying in bed and felt something wet come gushing out of me. I thought I had wet the bed so I got up and immediately saw a gush of blood. I started to cry then knowing that something was terribly wrong. I wrapped a towel around me and walked to the bathroom down the hall as I lived in the barracks. I left a trail of blood and blood clots on the floor in the hall. I then had the CQ on duty drive me to the hospital. They transferred me to labor and delivery.

The doctor examined me and the unkindly told me that my baby was going to die and there was nothing they could do. I cried endlessly. I told my significant other, who was with me, that I felt something between my legs. So he looked and sure enough there were two of the tiniest feet. So he ran to go get someone to help me. I then delivered a  14 oz and 11 3/4 inch baby. He never breathed. They told me that there was no reason for this to happen and it probably would never happen again. I was devastated. 

I then transferred to Ft Knox, KY. The next summer I was overjoyed to discover that once again I was pregnant. I was so hopeful and feeling so blessed. In December I was scheduled to go on leave for the holidays. I packed my car and got ready for a long drive to Kansas. I was again 22 1/2 weeks along. I stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom. I felt the same gush and I thought I just had to pee, but it kept coming and coming. I then started to hemorrhage again. God was with me and someone who worked at the rest stop was there. I don’t remember too much of the ride to the hospital. I remember lying there and the nurses asking who was with me and I told them “no one.” They didn’t give me much hope of my baby living, but they were not as cruel at the doctors in Germany. I then had to have an emergency C-section. I gave birth to a 14 oz, 11 3/4 inch baby girl whom I named Shalla Nickel Lewis. 

My mom sent me a plane ticket home. I remember sitting on the plane in pain watching to see my daughter’s coffin being loaded onto the plane. It was a really horrible feeling to have to go through this not once but two times.

Then in January 1993 I made the horrible mistake of getting pregnant again. I was on bed rest from 12 weeks to 25 weeks when again my water broke in July. I drove myself to the hospital at Ft. Knox and was transferred to a hospital in Louisville, Ky. I was put almost on my head and given a bunch of medicine to stop my labor. Then the army said that they weren’t going to pay for me to spend the next months in a civilian hospital. So they flew me to Wright Patterson AFB, away from my family. I started to get a fever in my 26th week so they had to induce my labor. I was so scared and so alone.

I spent 36 hours in labor to deliver a 1lb 14 oz baby boy. I asked if he was breathing. My doctor said “Can’t you hear him?” then I heard the softest little cry. I knew right then that God would not take my baby from me. He was sent to Dayton Children’s Medical Center and spent 2 1/2 months in that hospital fighting for his life. I finally got to hold him after 19 days. It was the greatest feeling I had ever felt. He came home a whopping 4lbs 2oz. He is now 7 and all boy. I tell you I love my Dashawn more than anything.

Since then God has also gifted me with a girl whom I call Sarina. She is almost 4 and when she was born she weighed 5lbs 2oz.

I will not be having any more babies, and that makes me sad sometimes. But I never forget how God gave me two wonderful and spirited children whom I love with my whole heart. I know He does everything for a reason. Maybe I wasn’t meant to or wasn’t ready for my other two babies. But I am now. 

 

 

 

Feel free to add your Third Trimester Story in the comments to share your experiences with other women and help us learn about the many ways we endure and cope with our loss.

26 thoughts on “Third Trimester Stories

  1. December 06 I found out that I was pregnant, when I went in for my first appt. they told me that their was not baby, I was so hurt and upset. Then to find that I was pregnant again March 07 and lost that baby at five weeks. I was so upset and most of all it was hard telling my two girls what had happened. Well in July 07 I found out that I was pregnant again unexpected my husband and I were happy but also scared because of what we had experienced. We tried very hard to stay positive with knowing that God had already blessed us with two wonderful girls and that this would be an added blessing. The pregnancy went well up to 12 weeks then I started bleeding. I went into the emergency room and the baby was fine. This went on for weeks with the bleeding but the baby was doing fine and growing like crazy. Then all of a sudden at 21 weeks 5 days, I started gushing out blood and had this really big blood clots coming out. I called my husband and he rushed me to the hospital. The doctor checked me and said that I had dialated 1-2 but that my blood level was down to 19. I had to get some blood transfused immediatley. They also wanted us to induce labor b/c my life was on the line and we both declined. I wanted them to give me the blood and wait and allow God to make the decision. I stayed in the hospital for four days but on that 4th day I started to have contractions but they were not bad. I went back down to labor and delivery so that my doctor could check to see how bad the adburption was. The baby was fine and her heart rate was at 150 and she was moving all over the place. She even waved at us and at that point I felt peace. Once the doctor had finish with the ultrasound I started to hurt really bad. My contractions were coming every 2 minutes and they could not stop them. I delivered MaKenzie on November 13, 2007. She was so beautiful and looked so peaceful. This has been the hardest thing I have ever in my life had to deal with but I keep in my mind that ultrasound picture of her waving at me and her father. That let me know that she was then telling us goodbye but I am so thankful that God allowed me share that moment with her.

    I feel so empty, my stomach feels empty. It was hard having milk in my breast for a baby I could not bring home but I know that she will always be with us and in our hearts.

  2. i was 40 weeks pregnant i went to the hospital and thhey told me that my twins were dead. i cried and cried and cried but veryone said there was nothing they could have done. i felt them move that morning and was haveing what i thought to be contractions. but i guess i was wrong.

  3. My husband and I had been TTCing for about 3 years and had begun infertility treatments (IUI etc.) and we were about to try IVF, when I found out I was pregnant (w/o help) in Dec. 2008. Our first baby! We were so happy and our families were too when we told them on Christmas Day. My pregnancy went on problem-free for 9 months and I had resign from my teaching position and was planning to stay at home with Jay, our son. I read the books, I search the internet whenever I thought something wasn’t right.

    At 35 weeks, I went to the L/D for a check-up because I had some bleeding and I’d never had any before. They reassured us that everything was fine, and gave me a paper to do kick counts. I started the next day and noticed I wasn’t feeling him move like they suggested, so I want to L/D and they did the non-stress test and ultrasound. They said he is breech and that I wouldn’t feel him move as much when he is breech, but he looked fine. The next day I went to L/D again for the same issue decreased fetal movement. This time was different though, my baby’s heartbeat wasn’t spiking like they wanted. They had me drink cold water, apple juice, change positions, and they did another ultrasound. He was still breech and he was probably in a deep sleep, so the doctor was going to keep me a while longer until it showed that he his heartbeat was spiking like they wanted, and start an IV. They ended up not doing that, because Jay woke up and his heartbeat started spiking just like they wanted, so we were free to go home.

    The next 2 weeks were great! I’d drink a little caffeine to get Jay moving when I did not feel him and all was well. I saw my doctor for my weekly check-up Monday July 27 and Jay heartbeat was strong and normal. Wednesday night I had really painful contractions, I could not sleep, and the next day I had a little pink discharge, which when I called the office, they said it was nothing to worry about. I had been feeling Jay move on Saturday in my ribcage (painful stuff) and then on Sunday I drank some Coke to make him move and he did.
    Early Monday morning August 3rd (about 3 or 4am) I started having really painful contractions that were pretty close together, but not exactly 10 or 12 in an hour it was off and on. It would feel like my child was in a knot inside of me and my belly was getting so hard, it was so painful I started to cry and I knew something wasn’t right. I told my husband we need to go to the hospital and we thought maybe we would have our precious baby that night, because I was going into labor or they would send us home and say everything was fine. We never expected to get there and hear no heartbeat and see our son’s still body on an ultrasound with no little flickering heartbeat. The doctor said they could tell Jay had been gone for a couple of days (I was scheduled to have a c-section on August 10th because of a previous surgery). I was in shock throughout the entire prep for surgery although I cried with my husband I hoped it was all a dream.

    John Eric, II was born at 8:23 am on Monday, August 3rd 2009. I held my son and he was beautiful, he looked like he was sleeping. I wanted him to wake up…now I have empty arms and an empty nursery, and a hole in my heart. I miss my Jay desperately and I think all the time about what I am supposed to be doing right now…holding my baby, not typing about how I lost him.

  4. I was pregnant and in 12th week I started bleeding after series of journeys. I went to see my doctor, was put to bed rest but I lost it anyway.
    In 2010 I took in again nd lost it d same period nd same way, I was heartbroken. I thought God was angry wit.
    Presently i’m pregnant nd pray God see me through to d end

  5. It has almost been six months since I lost my beautiful baby Sophia Christine. I was 27 years old, and very ready for her. My husband & I were counting down the days to her due date. I remember when he found out our baby was a girl, he was thrilled. My due date passed, no Sophia yet. Everything was perfect. My blood pressure, weight, diet, heartbeat, tests… then it happened, finally I went into labor on Dec 25th, 2010… a week and half late! I was so excited, finally I will get to hold her, care for her, get her out of my tummy and into the world that awaited her. My beautiful Sophia. At the hospital, they couldn’t find her heartbeat, well at first I thought the idiot nurse didn’t know what she was doing, after all Sophia was a tough one to find the heartbeat and I was in labor and more willing to get the move on…. but when she kept trying, going everywhere, switching to someone else, requesting the ultrasound. I knew. I knew, and my heart sank, it broke, I was so confused. I still am. I would do so many things differently if I only knew. I love her, I wanted the very best for Sophia – health wise, best start, best care, best life… I didn’t know how to handle her death. I didn’t know how to handle our goodbye. The next hours dragged on, I got a fever, I gave up on the birth experience… I didn’t understand, was this punishment. Finally, bearly together I agreed to a C-section. I got to hold her at 3:15AM on Dec 27th… she was so beautiful. Her lips, nose, ears, toes, hands, thighs, belly, hair, eyelashes, if only you could have seen this angel – too beautiful for earth. Everyone has told me I will want another… but I don’t have that drive. I want Sophia, it feels like I owe her more, I should have done more, something more – something different. I don’t think I could go through this again. My body, my mind, my heart is so drained. I feel lost, I don’t know enough about Sophia, what kind of mother am I? Now I am 28… going on 29… it fells as though she should be here & I can see all of us as a family so well, I just don’t understand it. I don’t know why, what did I do. How will I ever go through this again? Will I want to?

  6. I am a high risk preg.My other 2 kidds where premi babies.My son was born at 32wks and my doughter was born at 34wks.Both healthey and screamen when the came into the world.My sweet baby boy Hunter went to heaven on April 18th 2011.He was 35wks and 4 days!My doctor and nurses where all so happy that i had hung on for that long.We all where wondering how big he is going to be. Well my sweet angle was 6pds and 4oz.I didnt hold him or say good bye and that is so hard to know u cant bring that back.I just dont know how to deal with all this.They dont know what happen.I just know my son had a great 35wks with just me and him sid by sid. what i wouldnt do to get back those days!!!!

  7. I was at college when i found out i was pregnant. Everything was ok. I started with my check ups at 7weeks. I could feel the baby move everyday and it was exciting. His heartbeat was normal but my tummy didn’t grow big enough for the giant baby i was carrying. I visited my bf on 20th january 2011 and i had a very long drive. I slept early that night and at around 2a.m i started having contractions. I was 32 weeks then. I didn’t think i was gonna give birth. I took a mild bath but it didn’t help. I then waited til dawn to go home. On my way, i had severe pain on my lower back and just when i got home i started vomiting and bleeding. My mom rushed me to the nearest hospital where i got examined i was told i’ll be giving birth at 7p.m and that my baby was doing fine. As 7 i gave birth to a very beautiful baby boy who didn’t cry on his arrival. He was asleep. Seconds later, he cried and i was so excited. He was put in an incubator and an hour later, i was told my baby couldn’t breathe on his own and it wasn’t promising. I remember the nurse telling me that my lil angel was secreting liquid from his lungs. I kneeled and prayed that God save him but around 00:20, the nurse came back to tell me the bad news. I had lost my son. I held him, kissed him and dropped tears. He was so cute. I felt like i was gonna die too. I was really hurt and blamed myself all the time. It took me time to accept that i had lost him. It hurt me so bad seeing my Sia’s tiny coffin with him in his white suit.

  8. Thank u to all of u who r so brave in sharing your story. I m so sorry for your loss. hearing others go through this horrible loss just makes me remember that Im not the only one. Sometimes u feel so alone, and like no one else understands. take Care and God Bless u all. U have one more angel watching over u and u will see each other again.

  9. Hi all i know your pain i lost a baby girl on oct 1 2005 I WAS 36wks a long it was a cord dealth i. Think about her all the time i see her threw my others kids i have had two others since her dealth she is our angel

  10. I lost my beautiful baby boy,Liam, at 20 weeks pregnant and it broke my heart. I cried everyday and questioned why it had happened. No one had any answers for me. I still to this day don’t know what happened. My doctor told me to try right away and I am now 32 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. As it gets closer, I can’t help worrying that I will lose her also. I already have two beautiful boy, 5 and 3, at home. I just don’t want to feel that pain again and I don’t want my oldest to suffer. He tells me everyday that he hopes we get to keep this baby. My doctor says that I am extremely “soft”, but I don’t know what that means. I have to go for ultrasounds every 4 weeks because of the last pregnancy and it makes me so nervous. I’m so afraid that I’ll feel her move and then all of a sudden she’ll be gone. Does anyone have any ideas or words of wisdom in how to cope?

  11. my last time i felt my baby kick is 10-26-11..i was hurting i went to the hospital that same day i stayed there for about 8 hours that was on a wensday after 4pm..my baby heart beat was droping but they sent me home,.i had a reg dr.apt that following friday i went it was a student nurse who was checking for my baby heart beat .but the thing about this visit was it was different because as she ask me 2 lay dwn so she can listen it felt like i was in a pool of water just was heavy i broke out in a sweat ball n couldt lay back for along time on my back.so she didnt hear my baby heart beat .i know she just wrote down something.so the next week on the 2nd of nov i had another dr .apt my 36 week..the same thing hAPPEN what happn to me on that friday of last week.this time she went to get my dr.they still couldnt find no heartbeat so they did a sonogram and they discover no movement .so the following day i had my son and on his leg was a sore so i ask if he just pass away why he hav a sore on his leg like that ..they tryn to tell me that his death was fresh but i cant beleave that i want beleave it..i just want answers…that was my 4 child..

  12. I wasn’t as far along as you wonderful women I was 10 weeks 1 day I know miscarriage is common but ….. at 6 weeks she had a hb and jade measured to date . At my 10 a 1 d appt. She measured to date but my midwife found no hb. Then they had me wait in a room for 40minutes before they took me to get another trasound this time by the ultra so und nurse and my precious jade was in heaven. She then told me “get dressed I have other patients” keep in mind after the 40 minute wait she spent two minutes looking to tell me the horrible news. I am 18 years old its been six months my sweet jade is buried at my grandmas in a homemade cascet and I am unable to get pregnant now…… God bless all of you women I just needed to share my daughters story.

  13. I found out i was 2mounths pregant with twins ever since that first emergancy scan i was scanned weekly as they thort they had TTTS sydrome (Twin to Twin Transfuson Sydrome) i went to birmingham and leicter. Eventually the specialists agreed they were fine there was just a lot of fluid around one baby and not enough around the other. On that day i found out i was having identical twin boys me and my partner were so happy.
    Two weeks after (22+6 days) i started to have tummy pains at the same time as this my partner had a tummy bug i had the pain for a good week. I was in ASDA ordering Mosses baskets as we had been given the all clear and i was to have a C section on the 2nd of Jan 2013.
    It was about 10 oclock at night on the 5th of Nov 2012 when my pain got worse i had two baths and it seemed to make it better i then rang the emergancy midwife something just didnt feel right she told me to go back to bed as she thort i had food poisining i then went to the toilet as i needed what i felt like was a poo but something felt strange and i dunno why but i felt myself and i thort i felt a head i screamed to my mum (my partner was working nights and everyone was worried about me) and she had a look couldnt see anything so i went back to the loo and felt it again and my waters broke.
    My mum drove to the nearest petrol station as there was so much fluid and we knew somthing was wrong. The ambulance came immediatly and i walked and kept appoligising i felt i was wastings everyones time.
    The minute i got to the hospital in the ambulance my partner was already there they quickly examed me and i was fully dialted
    I gave birth to Alfie at 12.30 AM on the 6th of Nov he weighed only 550g we were told that he would be likley already gone, However he was alive for 58mins they layed him near me i darent hold him as they said i would go back into labour any minute at that he would pass away and they would not be able to resusatate as i was 22 weeks and 6 days. He was ..well IS so perfect he was just a little new born he was looking up at the celling and i said something that i cant rember and he faced me. Then i gave birth to Archie who was 255g he was so perfect but so tiny and as we knew what was happening my partner just held me time and watched the births. Archie sadly had died in labour he was still born. After i had been cleaned up i held them both together and it hadent hit me i was whispering like they were sleeping. eventually it hit us and i asked to be discharged early as i couldnt be there and all i could hear was other babies crying and i was convinced they were myn. I felt so guilty for just leaving them there but it wasent right. I have my box from sands with my photos and hand prints. We had a lovely service for them and my boys came home yesterday i had there ashes sent to me. I just dont know what now. i dont know who i am or what to do i feel so lost and know one whats to talk about it i just have so much love for them it hurts it didnt sink in for a while what had happend but now i just dont feel anything and when i do i feel to much. My partner isnt doing well either hes just angry i mean why us? i didnt smoke, drink do drugs i took tablets i stopped working because i was a high risk pregancey its just not fair and the 2nd of jan is getting nearerr and nearrer when i was supposed to meet them and its really getting hard

  14. Hi my name Erica I’m 19 week. At. 12 weeksi had a partial placenta detachment. I bleed for a week n everything has been ok untilnow. Inside I feel like a gush of cold water in my belly I don’t know what it is n my baby not been moving much I’m so scaredim waiting for my doc to call back. Reading your storiesbrok my heart n now I know why I’m so scared but don’t know if I’m just paranoid. I almost lost him at 12 weeks he’s held on this long n I hope to see him well but I’m worried. Has this happen to any of

  15. well where should i start my name is kimberly i am 19 years old i was 12 weeks when i found out i was pregnet with my baby boy. i was very happy and so was my boyfriend at the time i had lots of problems with my inlaws they didnt like me so there for they didnt like the idea that i was pregnet before i was pregnet i suffered a lot from depression and my inlaws treating me bad that caused me a lot of stress and problems between me and my boyfriend and everytime i stressed or cried about it i would feel my baby moving so i would stop crying i didnt want my baby feeling what i felt so i would try to control myself i would go to all my appts and everytime i would go the doctor would tell me my baby was fine everything was good it was a healthy baby. well till i turned 24 weeks my baby was good i was working at the time so on march 29,2013 i took my baby to meet my baby to get ultra sounds and get his heart beat i bought the teddy bear with my sons heart beat i didnt care how much it would be i wanted everything so when my son grew up he could see his teddy bear and he could see his ultra sounds 3d & 4d well i was so excited the lady that did my ultra sounds told me i had an active baby and that it looked really healthy the following friday which was april 5 i went to work in the morning i didnt feel good i felt really bad cramps and i would feel the baby kiking me real hard i thought it was normal and then i felt like throwing up i felt real sick but i couldnt throw up thow well i told my co worker i needed to throw up n she said you looked real pale are you ok i ran to the restroom and when i threw up water came out of my vagina i didnt know if it was water or pee i was scared so i asked to leave i drove home n told my boyfriend what had happend i called my dr and he told me to go into the labor and delivery room i was scaredd they immediately put me in a room and the nurse told me to go pee as soon as i went in to pee blood came out she put me back in bed had someone give me an ultra sound and i asked her if my baby was ok my baby was not breathing so it didnt make it =“[ its already june 20and as the day come closer when i was going to have my baby it hurts soo much”/ and my depression is worse than ever but i know my baby is in GODs hands looking down at me and his daddy

  16. On the 16th janurary 2006 at 28wks I went into labour I was 19 and on holidays at the time I went into prem labour an hr before I give birth to my son Ethan they told me they lost his heart beat the monitors were no longer picking it up I was so scared and along. Sadly they could not revive him I miss him every day specially one the 16th January 2008 at 21yrs old at 6am I went into labour with my second son Jacob at 41wks my labour with him was pretty much the same really painful contractions every 2mins part after 15 and half hour into labour I hear those dreaded works again we lost ur babys heart beat the monitors are not licking it up an hr later I gove birth to my 9 pound 1 baby boy he was dark purple they did CPR strate away his brother Ethan must of been watching over him that day because 10mins into CPR my son cried I couldn’t believe it. He’s nw a happy health 5 yr old. He knows all about his big brother Ethan who passed away 2yr before he was born and they share the same birthday along with middle names. I love both my kids and wil always miss Ethan i never planed on having kids again after losing ethan but Jacob was a surprise as I found out about him at 26wks pregnant and nw I’m glad I did as he’s my whole life iv been on my own raising him since 6months of age and would cajnge the would he’s my miracle and my last as I’m nw to scared to have any more babys after losing Ethan then so close to lossing Jacob too. I’m ever so grateful that I got to have one of my boys with me as much as I wished I had both. Jacob also was a spitting image of Ethan when he was born so it makes it even more special to me

  17. Im 26 years i have 2 boys. im 28 weeks wit a baby girl. i found out weeks Ago i have rh- blood n my baby is rh+. our bloods has been mixin and causin her bodie to shut down. she been hangin on. but last nite i started feelin the worst pain n my back. i called dr and told me to coMe n today. pray 4 us

  18. I was 19 when i got pregnant and even as a young woman i wanted the baby from the start. I was pregnant with a girl and would name her valerie .
    i had lots and lots of ultrasound pictures and the tech would always say wow your baby has a strong heartbeat. I never thought that at 20 weeks i would start to have significant pain in my stomach . I tried to go to the emergency room four times the week leading up to my delivery. all the nurses had told me that my pain was normal and would not take me seriously when i said i was losing my pregnancy and that my obgyn was out of town . it was unfortunate . i delivered my girl at 21 weeks. she was alive at first but was not breathing properly . i delviered her at home in my kitchen and the ambulance drove us to the hospital where she passed away fifteen minutes later.

  19. I’m 25 years old and pregnent with my first child, I’m 4 months into my pregnancy,i see my baby moving but don’t feel her/him move I’m going for an ultrasound soon. Should I be worried?

  20. My name is Rossalyne 31yrs from Kenya its 3weeks since i gave birth to a very handsome boy 1.3kg @ 33weeks whom later passed away same night It was just a very normal Friday everything was so perfect, from work i met with my friend and joked about me giving birth sooner than i think an we made plan of doing baby shopping on Monday, i wish i can just pass and forget those words and move on to the next stage if it exist ,Reading your life experience gives me hope that i will move on one day but for now the most painful part of my experience is questioning my inner conscious i feel like the father had something to do with his death an i hate him more than life itself ,hating myself coz i feel like i let the hospital fail me coz i kept having second thoughts to move to a different hospital but i didn’t , the sound he made after birth, The painful CS scar that will keep my memories more vivid , The infections after the CS .The missed steps that would have been taken to avoid that tragedy and the worst thing ever the drama that happened outside my recovery room between the hospital and my family that i felt so lifeless hearing them begging the medics to see my boy but non was given a chance to maybe if they did the family would have an easy time moving on too an a prove that the baby whom i was given and told that he passed @11.30 night was my baby for real , i don’t know but i think if one of them saw him it would or can help me move on.
    Tears flow but i now know that it will come to pass but it will always be a part of me

  21. hi i have been reading all of your comments i am pregnant right now im 25 weeks and my baby is very active i have gone in to false labour around 6 times and i always have cramping so is that normal

  22. Hello.l ve bn reading all comment and so sad bt May God b wir all families who ve to go through dis. I ve also jst gone through it. I was 26 weeks pregnant and had to let my son go after an ultrasound test confirms no heartbeat. I tank for my life cuz am vry strong n healthy. My question is how fast can l get pregnant again?? Anyone wit an idea??

  23. I am 5 days post birth my baby will be 6 days old in less than 5 hours but unfortunately she died over a week ago in my womb
    From the start she was small but I never got answers about how small it was never given importance
    At 24+3 I started spotting I had bad Braxton hicks and back pain. My mw said spotting was normal and provided baby was active all was well
    The spotting stopped
    A week later it started again but this time I had no cramps or pain so carried on as normal
    Sunday night at 26+5 I got watery discharge told my mw she took swabs to check for infection checked heartbeat and measured my bump all seemed fine
    Tuesday I was sneezing a lot but felt baby Wednesday baby again nice and active I thought great maybe spotting is nothing and baby is ok
    Thursday at 27+2 I had a very quiet baby which wasn’t overly abnormal I checked heartbeat on my home Doppler and sounded fine even got her to kick a little and I watched my belly bounce a little even tried to film it
    She still wasn’t overly active so thought I’ll have sugar and maybe speak to midwife in the morning ate sweets and she had mad wiggle
    Next day was first morning I woke and wasn’t anxious about her movements I went to play group and about 10am it occurred to me I hadn’t felt baby move otherwise I felt well
    Got home and decided to relax give baby a poke etc still nothing had some water and food still nothing decided time to try Doppler no heartbeat we tried not to panic thinking she was hiding cos only weeks before I couldn’t find and she was tucked away. Had more food and drink thinking she’s just hiding laid on floor tucked my belly down to find top of uterus and could feel her put Doppler on still nothing
    I grew very scared at that point so rang my midwife still just hoping I was rubbish at using it
    She said have some chocolate I’ll be there soon I laid on my bed ate and waited trying not to panic when still nothing
    Midwife arrived around 530 pm she failed to find heartbeat she then asked how would I get to hospital and she didn’t want to give me false hope but wasn’t looking good but may still be ok
    I arrived at hospital still hoping baby was hiding at 630pm they scanned me I watched them find baby saw her spine appear then the still heart chambers I swallowed hoping I viewed it wrong then they said it’s bad news I’m sorry
    The next day I was given pills to stop hormone production all the while hoping she’d kick and prove them wrong. My tummy got smaller and heavy I was in pain and losing more brown blood
    On Sunday at 27+5 I made her a dress suitable for a 25 week baby I packed a blanket in a bag, a necklace I bought her, cleared my camera history and charged it up
    Monday 13th October 2014 I went into hospital to begin induction the first pessary kicked off mild pains straight away (around 11am) and I started losing more brown blood
    We had the tv on to avoid hearing baby’s being born but around 430pm I heard one anyway
    I got my second pessary just after 2 pm I started to feel urge to poo and Uncomfy contractions in end I went for a poo scared I’d push this little baby out before I was ready
    After that my pain suddenly increased I needed a wee and wiped away most the 2nd pessary and it was confirmed I was in active labour
    Around 5pm I felt pressure and freaked out but then I felt something in my vagina so removed underwear and 2 massive clots came out
    I asked for pain relief around 6pm and found it helped take the agony away and I got to rest
    Around 815 I started needing the gas and air more frequently around 845 I said it’s getting too much and I need a wee I went onto all fours to manouveur off the bed when my waters gushed out every last drop
    We called for the midwife but my pains went totally away
    About 915 pm they picked up again and I asked for pain relief as was too much I could barely out my bottom down it hurt so much
    I felt pressure but held it in then I felt a bulge in my cervix I knew was time but still refused to push in end I did
    My beautiful girl shot out at 930pm at 27+6 weeks
    She was weighed wrapped up and we were rapidly transferred to sands room
    They took hand prints and plaster cast, dresses her for me and I wrapped her in her blankets
    I held her for ages stroked her face slept a little
    All day and night on Tuesday I help her sang to her spoke to her loved her! Rocked her tucked her into her cold cot even placed her on my chest took over 200 photos her toes her feet her fingers her nose her eyes her hair everything got snapped
    I cried a lot I felt this overwhelming guilt not for one minute did I think I’d lose her and I couldn’t believe I had
    No one tells you after a loss your baby’s body starts to shut down I wiped blood from her eye from her nose and mouth, she still pooed so I’d clean her up a little
    On Tuesday night I slept with her in my arms waking to her beautiful face I spent 40 hours in total and would do anything to do that with her again
    She’s not buried yet and I’ve visited her in the funeral home but I’ll have to say goodbye next week and I don’t know how
    It hurts I feel sick from guilt sick because I can’t eat I hurt all over aching for my baby
    It feels so cruel I should be nearly 29 weeks pregnant the last week since she passed has gone so fast her due date will approach even faster and I’m scared I want her here I was so close to the end I feel I should have known she needed help it makes me sick to think baby’s of her gestation survive
    However at 27+2 when she died she only weighed 600g exactly
    Right now cause of death is unknown although she is at least 3 weeks behind her gestation and underweight the cause of death to me seems obviously placental abruption and my heart hurts that I had symptoms and did nothing I’m angry my mw didn’t spot it either

  24. I wrote back in 2011 about Sophia – God I miss her. Just over 4 years ago and I still cry, sob… I’m getting ready to see her picture. I haven’t looked at it ever. I just remember her so well. I just hate myself now, looking back for not holding her longer not dressing her bathing her changing her diaper – but who am I kidding? What I really miss is the chance to make everything right, go back in time and change this outcome. I regret not doing something different – anything, why couldn’t she be here. So angering… But now I have two wonderful boys and God would I love another – but it is awful being pregnant after loosing baby in womb – the worry, the concern. The sudden oh my god when was the last time I felt a kick – why did I eat that for lunch? why why why why didn’t I… not to mention the ultrasounds oh they were great but after my loss it is like going in for cancer screening – is everything ok? Is everything where it should be? Oh and not to mention the people – oh look honey she’s going to have a baby… am I? that’s what I thought the first time around – let me tell you something when I was prego with my third (lost Sophia first, then had son 2yo at the time) I never said we were having a baby – I just said maybe we would have a baby, but that mommy and daddy would go to hospital and find out… I love my boys and thank god I got to have them – every baby is amazing and such a blessing

  25. i am 23 years old girl. today i just decided to share my sorrowful and painful story with you. on the 30 April 2015 the day i realised that I’m pregnant and I was 6 weeks pregnant. I remember when I told my boyfriend that I’m pregnant and he started telling me that he has a girlfriend so I should leave him alone with my useless pregnancy news. it wasn’t easy for me to let him go, because I loved him so much. at 18 weeks I asked him money to go to the doctor and he gave me R350 instead of R700 and I told him that this money it’s shorting and he told me that i should go and find another money somewhere else. my heart was broken and on top of that i was pregnant. Ok one of my friend gave me. then I went to the doctor and everything was fine. at 24 weeks I went to the doctor again to check the baby. my baby daddy wanted to come with me for sonogram I did agree because I loved him. the doctor told me to go to the clinic because my high blood pressure was high. yes it was high at 137/80 but the nurse told me to limit eating salty food. I did as they told me. I went to the clinic again and my high blood pressure continue to go up by 140/80. on my 40 week the last day I hard my son kicking. my Labour day, the brown discharge started to come out. and I started to feel Labour pains. they rushed me to the nearest clinic they checked me but it was too late my son’s heart was not beating than after that they took me to the hospital to confirm. nothing happened. my sister took me to the for sonogram ah still the same. that was my final believe that my son is No more. I started crying and pray to God that,, its better he take me instead of my son. I used anointing oil to rub my bully and drink anointing water and reading the bible but still my baby was no more. my sister rushed me to another hospital, hoping that God can make a miracle but still nothing happened. my poster come to hospital to pray for me but still he was gone.on the 14/01/2016 at 04:05 night I give birth and it was normal birth. I saw my son. his skull didn’t fully covered and his skin was damaged. he looked exactly like his dad.the nurse asked me if I wish to take him a picture and my answer was yes. I took him a picture send it to his dad. we named him amogelang thapelo….

    we baried him now and where ever my little angel he is. he is resting in peace. I loved him and he will always live in my heart

    his dad today he is regreting himself they way he was treating me. but it’s too late AMO he’s gone.

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